Feb 24, 2014 - 3:32 am
so i missed the first part of my life with hodgkins at 17 no prom no grad no college very difficult battle took them 6 months just to get the diag right to begin with and i almost died b4 they did - it was in my neck almost wrapped all the way around and choked me out...so i won that...in my 20s..left me with bad spine/neck damage where the dead cancer wrapped around some of my major nerves in my spinal area...
bump up to 40...been living life every day in pain wondering how im alive and bam now i get lymphomia so im a year out of recovery now...chopped up my neck some more
i caught it before it hit my groin bad but hey still chopped up some there..casued bad problems with lymphademia there to my man parts and left legg... so i got nothing..i live on ssi i live in pain its seems i was always struggling to get better to have better now this...now ill be 42 this year im im lost i feel like i fought to big battles that just drained me i have no will left becasue im confused lost poor in pain i dont know what to do i have nothing left nothing moreto give i fought to live but i dont know why. i loved life but this battle sad to say finshed off fight and hope i had...
i need help dont know where to start have done the pain management dance before..the shrink mambo before..i dont want it...i just want a reason to live and be happy thats all i ask for. it seems so far away now. any advice? i have tried just about every thing the medical field had to offer and now that the will to even get up and go is gone wont help anyway...last thing i wanted to do is reach out to a message board but why not? maybe some one with a life who has been thro it can share some of there good life with me? yea its that bad....prolly worse as i said im reaching out on here and whats worse im prolly in the worng place. to those that have beat it and lived and continue to live well god bless all of you!