Feb 22, 2014 - 10:59 am
I haven't posted for quite some time but I have been lurking now and then to keep up with the news on the pros like Fox (congrats on finishing and surviving the IL2!) and so many others of you with much tougher cases than mine (I was T1b grade 2). Partly I have stayed away (well except for the lurking) because I just needed a break from the C word. But also I didn't really feel worthy of advisng others when I didn't feel very strong mentally and emotionally myself. WELL, yesterday I realized what I consider a great victory....I forgot that yesterday was my 2 yr anniversary of my radical nephrectomy!! Can you believe that? I FORGOT ABOUT IT!! YAY!! Subconsciously I must have thought of it because I put on my cancer survivor t-shirt, but conscious it wasn't even in my thoughts. A co-worker remembered and said to me with abig smile on her face: "Happy 2 yr anniversary!" And I said, "What?" And she reminded my that Feb 21 2 yrs ago was my nephrectomy day. She even said that she thought that's why I wore my cancer survivor shirt. And I got sooooo happy when I realized I had forgotten about it. What a victory to me. I realized that cancer is no longer by first thought of the day nor even any thought during the day some times. That is such a relief I can't even tell you!
So, to the other newer folks that have asked about the mental and emotional side of this diagnosis just hold onto the thought that it really does get easier and some day, (I hope for everyone!!) it won't be in your every thought of evey day forever! It's a bitch while it is, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, just hold on!! I even have scans approaching but I'm not really anxious abut them. I sort of look forward to them because I trully believe they will be clean and clear. And if they're not then OK I'll have a fight on my hands. But so many on here (like Fox) have taught me thay even being in that fight doesn't mean it's over. It's not over ;til the fat lady sings...and I am the fat lady and I ain't singin'!!! LOL
Everyone take care and take strenght from the others on this board!