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The day before surgery

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

I didn't sleep as long as I would have hoped for. Woke up a couple of hours ago And it's only 4:30am.  I worked over 12 hours yesterday trying to prepare for another long absence from work. And on my drive home from an exhausting day my thoughts were taking me to some slippery slopes. 

I started to think that this surgery came up so quickly for me. They say that time flies by when you're having fun. Well I must be having a lot of fun cause time seems to be rolling by too quick. When I was young a year seemed so long. Now the years seem to go by in a blink of an eye. And I think that fighting cancer may actually increase this perceived acceleration of time exponentially.

I celebrated 50 years at the end of January and now I'm wondering just how long I have left. Am I living the final chapters of my life? And on the day before another surgery I worry it could be the final paragraphs if the last chapter. 

But then comes the morning. The realization. None of us know when the end will come.

And the point of life is to enjoy our time together now. Enjoy today. While we can hold each other and comfort one another.

So that will be my focus. As I go about this day. I will focus on Loving my wife and children. I will pay extra attention to all the people in my life and try to connect with each of them. Listening to what is in their hearts. 

Peace and Love to all my friends and fellow warriors on CSN.

Philip

Chelsea71
Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

I know what you mean about time passing quickly.  The years that Steve was sick whizzed by so fast.   The whole thing seems like a blur to me.  There was always something coming up.  A scan, surgery, chemo....time flew.  Now that he is gone...time passes so slowly.  It will be six months tomorrow and it feels like an eternity.  Each day creeps along.  It does make me think of the expression, time flies when you're having fun.  I guess I just didn't realize I was having fun.  

Sounds like you have a really good attitude towards life.  The same outlook we should all have regardless of our health situation.

I think this surgery is going to go well and I suspect you will soon have a whole new lease on life.  Best of luck to you.  Please update when you can.  I have a really good feling........

janderson1964's picture
janderson1964
Posts: 1617
Joined: Oct 2011

Its amazing what cancer can do to a person. All of your words hit home. I have experienced  all of the same thoughts.

I have been praying for a successful surgery all week. Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able to post.

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

Thank you so much for your prayers. I am so honored by the many people praying for me and with me. I'm sure I'll be posting soon. hugs.

jen2012
Posts: 1207
Joined: Aug 2012

Good post Phil - best of luck.  Looking forward to a good update!

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

Life is good. Tomorrow will go well. And I'll be posting soon.

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1302
Joined: Apr 2010

 

So True, a cancer diagnosis really does change one's attitude towards life and how we life it.  How I used to worry about things that I couldn't care less about now. 

Best wishes for a successful surgery tomorrow!

Hugs,

Cynthia

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

say good luck with your surgery and may Gods hand lead your surgens hand and a speedy recovery.,,Godbless...johnnybegood

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

JBG, God Bless You too. Thank you so much for your prayers. I so hope you are doing better and I am still praying for you too. BIG HUG!!!

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

I have been thinking so much about you, your family, and your upcoming surgery. Your comments -- Enjoy today. While we can hold each other and comfort one another. -- We should all take to heart.

Peace and continued strength. ~ Cynthia

 

 

 

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3402
Joined: Apr 2010

good luck on your surgery.  I've had two liver surgeries front and back of liver and it was fairly easy recovery, so wishing you the same!!

Winter Marie

BigMike's picture
BigMike
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2013

It sounds like you've been through it with this friggin cancer stuff.  If you are getting a liver resection tomarrow just know it's not as rough as a colon resection, at least mine wasn't. I had mets on my liver and the surgeon lopped off half my liver and my gallbladder and honestly I don't miss any of it.  I can't tell the difference from the before and after, except the scars.  Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1482
Joined: Jan 2013

Today's the day, and I'm hoping that by now you're out of surgery and on the road to more recovery. 

Can't wait - but will - to hear from you again. 

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

Surgery is tomorrow at 1 pm.  so I'm reading and posting tonight. :-)

danker
Posts: 742
Joined: Apr 2012

You are just a kid !!!  Wait 'til you are in your 80's like me and you will realy see time fly.  When my father was in his late 80's he used to say " it seems like Christmas comes every month." LOL

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

Laughing

i love this post the most. Great big smile! 

fatbob2010's picture
fatbob2010
Posts: 395
Joined: May 2012

Phil that was a great post and I can not agree more.  Here's to rapid and pain free recovery.  Art

Meowycat
Posts: 58
Joined: May 2013

Good Luck with your surgery and may you have a speedy recovery.

 

Nellie

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

I'll be thinking of you as you go through this surgery tomorrow, and sending tons of strength and hopes for success your way.

No reason this can't be the one that kicks the cancer to the curb for once and for all...took me five go-rounds myself to get to an extended period of NED (not sure I'll ever use the "c" word, no matter how far out I get).  Wishing that this will be the last surgery for you as well, and that nothing but a return to good health is in your future.

Keep us posted~AA

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

Thank you for sharing your experience. I do take great hope. Maybe this one is the key one for me.

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 777
Joined: May 2012

Your exact words to me were this is not a death sentence and so you get them back!  This is not a death sentence.  Surgery is part of the treatment, the part that sucks and so you keep on going!  That is an order.  I give orders better than any doctor.  I hope the next few days go quickly.  Sometimes it's a good thing.  Now I need to get back to my liquid breakfast/lunch/dinner.  Joy joy.

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

I'm in it to win it! And another surgery is a beautiful weapon in this war. And we just don't know... It might be a key battle that sends the cancer into remission. Bless you.

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 461
Joined: Apr 2012

And I will pull through this one just fine. I really appreciate the voices on this forum. You know what I'm going through and you know how I feel and that is a wonderful thing. I am fighting along with you all. I'll be posting soon. love to you all tonight.

Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Momof2plusteentwins
Posts: 449
Joined: May 2012

I know what you mean about time flies! I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer 22 months ago. I really didn't think I would still be alive now. The bad thing about the last 22 months is cancer has been on my mind every day. Sometimes I feel like I am just waiting to die. I try to live for the day but the cancer distraction is always there.

I hope your surgery goes well. Please update us as soon as you can.
Sandy

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 491
Joined: Mar 2012

My best to you on your surgery.  I know how quickly the time passes.

You will get through.  Do not look at this with a microscope trying to figure out about last chapters......... just write a new book!

All my love and best wishes.

UncleBuddy
Posts: 629
Joined: Aug 2013

I know you'll be back on here in no time cheering everyone on. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you have a speedy recovery. I'll be thinking of you.

Lin

Laughing My brother celebrates 50 years this year too. 1964 was a great year! It gave me the best younger brother I could have ever asked for!

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 575
Joined: May 2011

Dear Phil,

Please know that you are in my heart and prayer. Soon, this will be behind you and you will, once again, return to health. Know we are all in your corner. Many times tomorrow you will be remembered.

CM

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 582
Joined: Apr 2011

phill I just came on the board today and read your post. By now the surgery is over and I hope you start healing right away.

sending hugs and healing thoughts, wishing you feel healthier and stronger as the days go on.

marjan

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 2912
Joined: May 2009

Waiting to hear the success story!  Big hug!

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