Jan 25, 2014 - 2:49 am
I'm new to this site and to my loss; my husband of 30+ years died on Sept 7 after being diagnosed with stage 4 larynx cancer on Aug 1. He'd been progressively hoarse and short of breath for a few months...we were unprepared for his advanced diagnosis and rapid 5 week decline. We decided to forego disfiguring surgery and radiation; instead we acknowledged his end was near, had hospice care at home for 2 weeks before his death. As anyone who is on this site can likely relate to, it was a devastatingly emotional, brave, loving, gut-wrenching, powerful transition for both of us.
I'm very sad and I know I'm early in my grief. I feel many of the experiences others share here....loneliness, wanting solitude, going thru the motions at work and with well-meaning friends, sleep and appetite loss, triggers of tears several times a day, fearful of all the sudden responsibility (home management, finances) and crushingly missing my best friend......
Yet I don't experience a fog that others talk about. My thinking is quite clear. I haven't made any goofy decisions, missed any bills, screwed up at work. Maybe others can share their experience with the fog of early grief to help me understand.....am I so fogged up I can't see or feel it?
many thanks - joey