Jan 24, 2014 - 7:32 am
Hi, I'm new in here, and to be honest, I guess I'm just here to have a good old whine about how frustrated I get sometimes.
2007: removal of right tonsil, removal of gland under chin, neck disection, right side of neck.
2009: following the appearanc of 8 lumps on right side of neck; radical neck disection, right side; 33 sessions of radiotherapy to both sides of neck with chemo every week too.
Oct 2009: back to work. Can no longer eat any solid food, no saliva, sweet taste buds gone (you would not believe what sweetness there is in food until it is not there. Milk tastes of nothing, coffee is vile and sweet desserts taste downright odd) and so I live on ensure drinks.
Since the surgery I have had almost constanr pain, mainly around my shoulder blade and the top of my shoulder.
Some 12 months later I had my first bout of pneumonia, apparenly from aspirating because I cannot swallow properly. OK, another thing to deal with, and I did. Then I got pneumonia again, and again, and by the fifth time I thought I was coping pretty well. Then came the pleurisy last September. I got over it, but couldn't seem to get rid of the cough it left me with.
Then I began to have problems with walking up stairs, or up a slight incline. I became breathless at the slightest physical exercise. Then a couple of weeks ago I developed the worst pneumonia I ever had; I was up all night, temperature of 39, throwing up... Doc called out and nearly ended up in hospital had I not got my temperature down.
The specialist and my own doctor both believe I now have bronchiectasis (lung damage) from the repeated pneumonia. If so, I am stuck with this dreadful cough for life, and at the moment I don't know if I will ever get back to work. Although I am now on constant antibiotics I work in a large open-plan office, and there is always some martyr or other who struggles in to work with the kind of viruses that scare the heck out of me.
So, there you go, me having a moan, so if anyone reads this, thank you for listening. I hate to moan at family and friends. To be honest, I prefer to feel happy whenever possible. But sometimes it gets hard; like on special occassions when I can't eat. I can't drink any alcohol either as it burns my mouth and throat. Sometomes I just want a slice of toast.
Don't go thinking I am depressed; I'm not. I have been depressed in the past and Iknow the difference between depression and feeling fed up with pain, with coughing and with not being able to eat. I guess I just needed to share how I feel without upsetting anyone. I feel so much better for that