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How to survive cancer?

mybestfriendhas...
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2014

Hi I am new here. I feel terrible because my best friend has ovarian cancer, she is only 26 years old. She undergoes surgery and a lot of medications. She is in deep pain and I feel that I can't do anything to make her feel alright. Cry

 

I searched every information I can find to know how to survive cancer, but I know your experiences will help a lot. 

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1277
Joined: Sep 2011

You sound like a wonderful friend and just being there to support her will help a lot.  Your friend has every reason to be hopeful about the future.  There are many women who have lived long and satisfying lives after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Has she already had surgery and is she recovering from that?  Will she be undergoing chemo?  She is no doubt going through a rollercoaster of emotions now, including fear, sadness and anger.  All of this is normal.  I myself was diagnosed in September 2010, had surgery the following month, and six rounds of chemo between December 2010 and March 2011.  I've been dancing with NED (no evidence of disease) since March 2011, so almost three years, and I live what folks would consider a normal life.  Please let us know if you or she have any specific questions.  The women on this board are very kind and supportive to each other and especially to "newbies".  Perhaps some day she will be interested in coming to this board herself.

Wishing you and your friend the best.

Kelly

flex
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2013

Young: too young…..What is the source of her pain? Post surgery?  The role of “caregiver” just found you. It is an important role in her care. You stated, “…I feel that I can’t do anything to make her feel alright.”

My three and one-half years of being a caregiver asserts that to “make her feel alright” begins with the role of caregiver.  In other words, while she is in pain and taking medications, she can "feel alright" by having the confidence that you are watching out for her.  She will feel better knowing that you are policing her care. 

Seek understanding of proposed medical strategies; medications being prescribed; test results (get copies/document/dates/monitor and learn the distinction between normal and abnormal side-effects).....normal side-effects are somewhat acceptable.....abnormal side-effects are red flags and must be addressed immediately. 

Again, "seek understanding."  Write down and insist on having medical terms defined for you (then, do your own research), understand each test given, track test results, medical procedure, jargon, etc....Ask lots of questions---twice. Her knowing that you are paying attention will "make her feel alright."

 Remember that, her pain, medications, and thoughts often get in the way of proposed choices. This is where you come in. So when she looks into your eyes, seeking understanding; you'll be there to provide it. 

Advocate: Support: Protect her interest. Such is the role that has found you. Her care depends on it.

This battle can be won. Wishing her and you the best...let the group know if you have any questions, thoughts, concerns.....This group is a great source of information, experience, and know-how--but, it is only one source.

One last suggestion: take care of yourself....not doing so, compromises her health and yours.

This group is with her and you.

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