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Just Curious

Tleyende
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2014

I was diagnosed with Acute Myloid Leukemia in July 2012.  Thankfully, all the treatment worked and I am now in remission.  I was out of work for treatment for 8 months.  My employer was very good to me.  They held my position for me and there was never a question I would have a job to go back to when I got better.  This was a job I enjoyed and had success.  I have been back to work a little less than a year.  Ever since I went back to work, I have felt lost and no longer enjoy what I do.  I'm curious if anyone else has had this same experience.  I should be very happy that I have a good job, and I feel like my employer has done the right thing by me.  However, something I used to find very fulfilling now leaves me empty.   Please, has anyone else gone through this.  And how did you deal?

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Hello.  I am nearing 25 years as a cancer survivor and have realized, as many do in our positions, that many, many things change after a diagnosis of cancer.  Some of these changes are visible like surgery scars or wheelchairs from side effects of treatments but many changes are not visible such as trauma from situations linked to the diagnosis (or the diagnosis itself) or how the cancer journey affects us emotionally.

 

Many people, including myself, start to look at the world through new eyes.  Priorities change for many after they have been diagnosed or along the cancer journey somewhere and they begin to change things in their lives because their focus is now different and often based on new realizations.  New realizations about yourself and what is truly important in your life plus coming to the realization that no one gets out of this life alive and that brings about changes in how we priorize and what is truly important again.  I have seen many people discard toxic relationships realizing that the relationship is toxic for one reason or another and others throw away old careers which once were fine but upon facing a life threatening illness and winning becomes less than satisfying and many search for their passion instead and take on new careers from there.

 

What you are experiencing, I think, could well be because of these newly found priorities.  I think it was indeed great that your employer kept your job for you, although in many places it's actually illegal to fire someone just because they had to deal with cancer treatments for a bit, but I know where you are coming from by feeling somewhat obligated to stay where you are but you really aren't obligated.  It's your life and yes, it is short for all of us, so why not take this opportunity to look at your true passions and work where you are challenged and your talents truly utilized and where most importantly you are following your bliss?  Why not?

 

Let us know how you are doing.  God Bless.

 

Bluerose

Tleyende
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2014

Thanks for the insight. My priorities are definitely different from my co-workers.   Time to think about my "passions".  That's the hard part. 

Tbfalls's picture
Tbfalls
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2014

I know how you feel. I also work for a great employer. In 2008 I fell and broke my back and was allowed all the time off that

I needed I was just getting back to full time work and I was still enjoying the work that I was doing. In Jan. 2013 I found out

that I had lung cancer my employer was still very supportive and let me work when ever I wanted. I radeation and chemo

finished chemo begining of July. Two monthes later I was asked to supervise a weekend shift sounded great work 3 days get 4 off

 I was even able to hire my wife so that we could spend more time together.  Now I find myself losing interest in the job and getting depressed.

 I don't why because it's still the same job I'm hoping that it's just something that will pass in time and I will start enjoying

things again. Because it's not just the job that I have lost interest in but alot of the things that I use to enjoy. 

 I'm hoping that just having positive additude towards life will make everything better. And I do think that having a

positive additude does help us get through a lot. I hope the best for you and I know that it will get better.

We made it through cancer treatments. So I think that we can get through anything and enjoy it.

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