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Anxious and Afraid

beccajeanne791's picture
beccajeanne791
Posts: 6
Joined: Feb 2013

So, I just got the email I’ve been dreading since July of last year… it's time for my sixth month PET scan.  Words can't describe how anxious I am right now.  I was diagnosed with stage 3A Hodgkin's Lymphoma this time last year.  I've been in remission since July and these past sixth months of zero doctor appointments have been fantastic.  I’m trying to keep a positive attitude but at the same time I can’t help but feel completely afraid.  The thought of having to go through everything again is stuck in my head and I hate it.  I was just wondering if anyone had advice or words of encouragement to offer me.  

 

 

Shoopy
Posts: 210
Joined: Jul 2013

Words aren't needed to describe your level of anxiousness--at least not for us.  Everyone on this board knows exactly what you're going through whether in remission or on the way to remission.  I think what you didn't say in your post is very important--you didn't say "I'm worried because I feel a lump".  It sounds like you have really enjoyed the last six months and there is nothing to make you think you won't continue to hear "NED". 

I haven't achieved remission...yet...but I'm sure you'll hear the same thing from others.  The first couple 'check ups' are probably the worst because everything is relatively new.  The further you get away from your treatments; the less it will be on your mind.

Just remember: Breathe!

Karl

GKH
Posts: 312
Joined: Jul 2012

This is a chronic disease and most of us will have several relapses. Remember this is very treatable. Next time insist on some sort of maintenance therapy after you go into remission. I hope you have support from family. Take care and try hard to live a fun interesting life. There will be ups and downs but outlook for a cure in the near future is very promising, at least thats what I am told.

All my best.

GKH
Posts: 312
Joined: Jul 2012

Your Hodgkins is already curable with a very high success rate!

Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 503
Joined: Mar 2013

Beccajeanne, I am so sorry that you are having feelings of fear and anxiety. And as Karl (Shoopy) said, we all know the feeling. There has even been a word coined for what you are feeling--SCANXIETY.

You are doing the right thing by reminding yourself to remain positive. Try to remember that this is routine, routine, and that your medical team is trying to protect you from future treatment.

Your feelings are perfectly normal and to be expected so don't let other try to tell you otherwise. It is OK to tell us, as many times as you need to that you are scared. It is why we are here.

Praying for you and sending big hugs,

Rocquie

 

dkatz
Posts: 27
Joined: Oct 2013

I have to tell you that along with my wife and kids, I share my life with 10 cats a dog, and a few reptiles. My dog watches over us and the reptiles are really interesting to look at but the cats run the racket in my house and just lay around and do nothing all day. To see one of my cats sleeping in round ball in spot of sun on my bed; boy oh boy, that's the way to live. Right now he's contented and happy. There is no past and no future. There is no thought that I may start up the vacuum cleaner in 10 minutes and ruin a really nice dream. There is the here and now and now, his belly is full and there is no danger and only a nice spot in the sun on my bed. I wanted to share that visual with you. Easy to say because we are aware of a past and what may happen. But the here and now.. is, well, here and now. Find a nice warm spot in the sun.

tall floridian's picture
tall floridian
Posts: 87
Joined: Dec 2011

Becca - we've all gone through what you're going through- the anxious days-the worry, but please know that our kind of cancer is treatable- I'm almost two years in remission now with just a 3-month blood test schedule with my oncologist. I'm much into healthy eating and watching my diet,exercizing,and having a positive attitude-that means so much to live your life in a positive manner. My faith has brought me through a long journey-I remember a few years ago going through the treatment with anxious days wondering if I would ever get back to normal. But I have and here it is almost two years and thank God a new man. By the way my lymphoma was stage 4 but yet through modern medicine and much prayer I am able to say that I've come a long way to remission. My prayers will be for you that you'll be completely free from cancer and able to live a long and productive life. Hugs, Steve

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