Nov 01, 2013 - 7:41 pm
I've been reading back through the discussions on this board for the last couple of days. You sure are supportive group! I'm very glad that you're here!
I created an account today because I'd like to join the group and because I realize that I need some support. In Oct 2012 I was diagnosed with "B cell lymphoma unclassifiable with features intermediate between DLBCL and BL," better known as Double Hit lymphoma. Treatment started Dec/12. I had 6 rounds of R-EPOCH and then a SCT in July 2013. I have an amazing group of friends who got me through all of it. Because I would go to the hospital for a full week for chemo, and was feeling pretty low after it, I would go to a friends house for my first week out of the hospital. Then I would go home for a week and then back into the hospital to start it all over again. It was a surreal six months. Then came the STC. I came out of that feeling tired but okay, and it didn't take me long to bounce back physically. Everyone, including my doctors were amazed. Because I was feeling so good I started to do some easy part time work, plus I started making plans to move. Well, it didn't take too long for everything to come crashing down. I was flattened physically and emotionally and had to shut everything down. Stopped everything and got the messae that I just need to give myself time to recover.
It's been about a month since the crash, and I have started to come back. About 50% of my energy has returned. I can excercise a little bit and go out for coffee with friends. I've decided not to go back to work for the forseeable future, and the move won't happen for at least a couple of years. So this is good.
The problem is that I find myself feeling very lonely most of the time. Even when I'm with my friends I often feel a deep sense of lonliness. I feel like the emotional healing is going to be more of a challenge for me than the physical healing. When I found this site, I just sort of absorbed all of the messages here like they were a kind of medicine. Reading them helps tame the lonliness, somehow. So here I am. I'd like to be part of your group and part of the mutual support.
I look forward to hearing from you.
PS - could someone please tell me how I upload a picture to go with my online name. Thanks