Learning to Live In Between Scans

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jthornsbury
jthornsbury Member Posts: 62
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Friends,

 

Just passed the six month mark after treatment and am learning to live during the "in between" time.  Continuing to take each day as it comes and be thankful for each gift and blessing that comes my way.  Still at times is stressful and need to take time just to get my head around what is going on.  Trying not to go to the "what if's" and focus upon the moment.  Also dealing with the fact that I do not want this disease to incompass who I am...I am more then that. Have my next CT scan mid-December but am determined not to allow it to ruin my holidays with the family no matter what the outcome.  

 

Jon T.

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  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #2
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    Jon

    I continue to wake each morning and if my mind starts to wander to the "what ifs" I simply tell myself that today is a day God gave me and to get up and rejoice in it. That works for me, otherwise, if I allow myself, I lay there and start my day off on a bad note. At times, I have also told myself to live the day as if these are "the good old days" just in case they turn out to be just that. Just my little mind tricks but they do hold the negative thoughts at bay.

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #3
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    hey Jon !

    You are way more than your dx !  But the anxiety is real.  We all feel it.  This is an excellant place to let it out.  I'll be thinking only good thoughts for your next scan.  Katie

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #4
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    scan this

    Jon T.,

    Congratulations on your 6 month mental stability challenge.  I may make fun of scanxiety, but it is present in most of us and it is real.

    I watch a program or commercial or read an article about cancer and realize “that’s me”.  It scares me as much as before, it is just more real now and if I forget there are always these crazy side effects to know it is true.

    All I know is me and for the most part my mind stays, shall I say stable (in a good way).

    Best of luck on your own mental front, it sounds like you are doing ok.

    Matt

  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #5
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    CivilMatt said:

    scan this

    Jon T.,

    Congratulations on your 6 month mental stability challenge.  I may make fun of scanxiety, but it is present in most of us and it is real.

    I watch a program or commercial or read an article about cancer and realize “that’s me”.  It scares me as much as before, it is just more real now and if I forget there are always these crazy side effects to know it is true.

    All I know is me and for the most part my mind stays, shall I say stable (in a good way).

    Best of luck on your own mental front, it sounds like you are doing ok.

    Matt

    Got 4 year scans coming up

    and yes the anxiety remains but to a lessor  degree. You will discover that individual scans are much less meaningful than your entire scan history as  post treatment years pass by. It's the comparison value of one scan to a previous scan that begins to accumulate diagnostic value. The point is not to place too much anguish on one scan event. On a practical level there are actions you can take to reduce anxiety. When scheduling, insist and then hold out for that appointment day where you can get scanned in the morning and have someone read the damn thing on the same day. Absent that scenario, huff and puff until someone gives you a hard copy that you can read yourself. Also request the CD version for your medical records and begin to save these documents. Lastly I would point out proudly that I remained on anti anxiety medication almost 18 months post treatment. It can really make a difference and the best way I can describe the medication is as if someone flipped a switch in my brain that made the anxiety tolerable. Wishing you clean scans and minimal anxiety as you progress through this medical post treatment maze.

  • cureitall66
    cureitall66 Member Posts: 913
    #6
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    Time...

    Jon,

    My loved one is just about at his 1 yr point. He is on a low dose anxiety pill, which I think must be helping. I don't see the emotions quite as much and also the fear has let up. I think I've convinced him that all his check-ups and any xrays, scans, etc are just "secure" well-checkups. Also, we never make a big deal out of an upcoming appointment, and although the appointment date and time are on a card, we don't write it on the calender as a reminder. I try to hold onto the appointment cards. Just little things we're trying to work on to get through our days. Just one day at a time, and plan our future plans as we normally would. Now, I know this isn't always going to work for us 100% of the time, but we do our best to make it work....or at least I do...for him.

    We've talked to long time survivors and ask them how they have gotten through the years, and most say, "One day at a time". They said as years go on they think of it less and less, but it is still something they think about at times. But, you know, all of us on this earth whether we had cancer or not are never guaranteed tomorrow.....we all should relish our days...and take one day at a time.

    Focus on what as at hand...

    God Bless,

    ~C

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