Oct 19, 2013 - 12:59 am
My mom died 7 years ago as a victim of a very aggressive and destructive breast cancer. And when I mention destructive I want to point that out, because that thing destroyed my whole family and heart. When I think about mom's death, I just wouldn't like to remember or even think about that. The worst part of loosing a person, is loosing that person in front of you. And even worst is that the brain is, I think, the worst part of our body, cause when I try to remember her, I just can remember my last 10 min with her, trying to keep her alive. People just say: "Move on" but there's no way to move on, when you have to think about it for the rest of your life. It is not like switch on - switch off. There's no way to move on, when you have to see your dad's daily cry, when your graduation's day you know that She would be proud of this goal. When in your 18th Bday, you know that She will be the first trying to plan your party. When you would pay to be with Her your wedding day or when you get pregnant or when you get your children. I know that people say that She is with me at each every moment, but I just want to be physically with her. And now, I'm trying to do my best going through this month, "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" which I basically love and support. But with my "Wedding Coordinator" job, I just want to run and hike. Because there's no way to move on when I have to stand and watch the brides dancing, sharing and crying the most happiest day of their life with their moms and I just have to settle myself with my PINK RIBBON. Its not fair and I just don't need to move on! I SURVIVED this lost and I've been surviving through this 7 years being the wife on my father, the mother of my brother, the daughter of my grandparents, the sister of my uncle and aunts, and my selfsupport. But I refuse to move on to the lost of my mom! I won't ever, EVER in this life want to forget or stop missing her.