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Lung Surgery Soon - Still Quietly Freaking Out

handpuppet64
Posts: 29
Joined: Oct 2013

Hi Everybody,

 

I saw the thoracic surgeon yesterday. He said that my lung nodule was in a bad spot. He said that it was on the right lobe, closer to the heart and where there are a lot of major blood vessels. He said that ordinarily they just make 3 cuts and wedge the nodule out. He said that in my case, they might have to make a larger incision, spread the ribs, deflate the lung and take it out that way.

He's a good doctor - there is no doubt, he is a professor at Northwestern and it's an excellent hospital.

Why do I think I am not going to make it?

That is what I think. I also think I don't have many people in my life. I'm going through this - thing - where I think, all I've done, all my life is work at a career and for what? I haven't had time for much of a social life, never saw a need for it, now I want people around me and they aren't there. I feel like my thoughts are selfish.

My husband had kidney cancer. They removed his kidney and he had about 18 months of no disease, then the cancer spread to his pancrease, then he had the whipple procedure, then the cancer spread to his liver, then he went into hospice care. He died in 2007.

I keep thinking of karma. Also, was there something in the water?

I realize that - the doctors tell me that - they can't tell me why I got kidney cancer. Nobody can explain this to me rationally - it happened.

What's strange is, I feel absolutely fine. I had the nephrectomy on Sept. 6. I got over it easily. Other than, it's a little hard to get up and down from the floor and to pick stuff up - I feel like my old self.

The doctors tell me, this nodule has to come out. I had Stage 2b Grade 4, and I had the "vascular involvement." I guess, the way it was explained to me, is, I should expect tumors to pop up randomly. If this nodule is cancer - this promotes me to Stage IV.

I don't need hugs, I guess, if anyone could, tell me - ANY GOOD SUGGESTIONS about ANYTHING? Could anyone tell me (and I know I asked before) what to expect during the surgery?

Really, How do I cope? I guess that's my question.

The doctor told me yesterday that I was in good health. How confusing is that? He meant, I wasn't heavy, all the numbers coming back from blood tests etc. are great.

Do I find a support group? Is this the support group? I know on a certain level, what to do - I take the pulminary function test, then they schedule the surgery,

I'm nervous - I'm kind of babbling on with my writing and typing. Sorry it is so long.

Thank you for responding.

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

HP,

Five days after my nephrectomy in November of 2009 they deflated my left lung, made an 8" incision in my left rib cage, used rib a spreader to access my chest and removed a 3 liter plueral effusion which was from the motorcycle accident that led to my original diagnosis.  The next day I sat up in bed and ate Thanksgiving Dinner (hospital style) and was walking around the halls.  They used a spinal block essentially numbing the entire left side of my chest, I would highly recommend you ask for the same, it worked great.

"How do I cope?"  You concentrate only on the things that are within your control to change and forget about everything else.  Spend your time preparing yourself physically and mentally for what lies ahead, think only positive thoughts about killing cancer one piece at a time.  Do not sit idle and let the fear wash over you, worrying is just a big waste of time.  We attack with extreme prejudice and we take no prisoners, we do whatever we have to do to survive, we are warriors.  Finding a support group is a great idea, sharing your fears cuts them down to a manageable size.  Hang in there.

Godspeed,

Gary

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 813
Joined: Apr 2013

We all need people around us to support us when we are struggling. You have everyone's support here but you need the physical contact from a support group too. I believe that would make such a difference to you. When we are alone our thoughts and fears can have a field day, talking to someone helps us keep a tighter rein on our fears, and a better perspective. When it comes to Karma, it is not fixed it is changeable from moment to moment, it is created by intentional, thoughts words or deeds. You are in control of karma, you can change it, basically it eminates from within you. So no one is punishing you!

You are stronger than you think, determination should be your weapon of choice. You may have to dig deep but you will find it! You can beat this! You have to believe that! Please let us know the date of your surgery so we can keep you in our prayers!

All the best:)

Djinnie

 

 

GSRon's picture
GSRon
Posts: 1306
Joined: Jan 2013

Yes, any surgery can be scarey ti say the least.  What helped me was to "see" myself waking up afterwards.  Hope that helps you too...  Holler at us when the deed is done...

Ron

handpuppet64
Posts: 29
Joined: Oct 2013

Thanks guys, thank you so much!

 

I am crying as I type this. I have asked my self a millions times WHY? and I come up with nothing.

I greatly appreciate your encouragement and info about the surgery which scares the **** out of me.

Thank you so much.

 

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