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I lost my husband in 3months

gloriamoore22
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2013

My husband was diagonsed with Esphogas Cancer on May 09, 2013, the dr had told him a month ago it was just acid reflux and dont worry they would fix it with the scope procedure.  But before May 09, 2013 he started vomiting and not able to swallow.  He had troubles digesting food before, for about a 2 months but thought it was acid reflux.  We rush him to the hospital and on May 09, 2013 they did a pet scan and xrays and notice a tumor and then did a scope test and and said he had Esphogas Cancer and it had spread to the liver.  I felt so sick because my husband and i had only been married 6 1/2 years and we have a 4 year old and I just was so scared.  The next day 4 days were the hardest because we had to wait to get the results of  the liver test back on Monday and it was so stressful to wonder.  I prayed so hard but came Monday we got the worst news ever, it did spread to the lymp nodes and liver.  We tried to be positive and started our journey, we were in and out the hosiptal four or five time for little things and before all this happened he slowly couldnt swallow and he went the entire time not eating or swallowing water but was fed through the tubes that were put in.  I cant imagine mentally what that does to someone besides knowing you have Cancer too and not sure whats going to happen.  Everyday he would thank me for being there and I told him he didnt have to but I felt he was scared, my true hero.  I lost him exactly 3 months later.  It has been the hardest thing ever to deal with, I miss him so much and love him and I feel so bad our little boy will grow up with out his Dad.  His Dad was a Federal Police Officer for 28 years and was only 48 when he died.  I lost My Best Friend, My Soul Mate, My Husband.  I wonder what the future holds.  I miss him so much and struggling everyday with what happen so fast.

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1105
Joined: Apr 2010

Gloria,

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. One of the things that makes esophageal cancer so deadly is the fact that symptoms typically don’t show up until the cancer has reached a late stage. Unfortunately the medical profession is not well versed in treating EC and so many doctors don’t understand how aggressively it must be treated.

There is a Facebook group for widows of esophageal cancer patients. You will find ladies there who have been where you are and understand how you are feeling. Let us know if you would like to join and we will have someone send you and invitation to join.

 

With my deepest condolences,

Paul Adams

McCormick, South Carolina
DX 10/2009 T2N1M0  Stage IIB - Ivor Lewis Surgery  12/3/2009 - Post Surgery Chemotherapy 2/2009 – 6/2009
Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU - Three Year Survivor

 

gloriamoore22
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2013

yes Paul i would love that, thank you so much.  Ive ben looking for something like that.  Its just been really a horrible thing. my facebook name is gloria gomez moore if you cant find me let me know the group.  Thank you again.

mruble's picture
mruble
Posts: 179
Joined: Jun 2011

Hi Gloria -

I'm very sorry for your loss.  My husband passed away in March of 2012 because of this terrible beast.  I'm having some trouble finding you on Facebook.  If you'd like to send a friend request to Mary Lewis Ruble - the one with a woman in a red shirt and a man in a black shirt - I'll add you to our Better not Bitter group.

mary

gloriamoore22
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2013

Thank you mary i appreciate it so much.  Im sorry about our husband and its a horrible disease.

lfaubert
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2013

my husband was diognosed back in january 2013 and the first two chemo's they tried did not work so we just started plan C. The doctors told us this is our last option and if this chemo does not work then there is nothing more they can do and if he wants to try a clinical they would help us try and find one in Boston or Buffalo. Has anyone ever heard of photodynamic therapy? I have been doing alot of my own researsh and I came across an article on this. We start his second treament of the new chemo on friday and I am going to ask the doctor about it. We go to fletcher Allen in Burlington VT. Would love to hear from other people going through the same thing and get more input on this

 

Thank you,

Laurie Faubert

Demery
Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2013

Hello,

I am so sorry for you.  I just found this message board a few minutes ago.  There is so much I need to learn and ask the doctors this week.

My husband and i were on a 12 day cruise in europe, had a fantastic time, we came home on Aug. 12, 2013 at 4:40pm.  At 4am in the morning, he got up to go to the bathroom, and collapsed.  I heard a hard thump and he called me in to say he thought he was paralized and to take him to the Dr.  I called 911.  Long story short, he had been bleeding internally for three weeks...tests that night showed blood in his stools, the scope down his throat showed esopohogus cancer, with suspicious lymph nodes, and after the pet scan, a spot on his liver. All Stage 4. 

I am still in shock.  He just had the J Tube taken out, well, i feel outbecause it never really worked.  He has had 6 weeks of radiation everyay, and 1 day a week of chemo for 6 week.  We just finished up his treatment, but h=now he has been so dehydrated, we have been back to the hospital everyday this past week and all weekend for fluids.

His big test is on Oct 27 to see if all this treatment was worth it. 

My husband is a SF retired Police Officer for the past 12 years.   We will have been married for two years this coming Nov.  We moved from Calif. to Idaho to start a new retirement life.  And now all this happened.

The doctors gave him 4 to 6 months to possibly 5 years to live.  I just cannot believe that timeline.... it doesn't sink in.  We are both just waitng for the end of Oct. to see what will happen to "US."  But it's so hard.  I'm so tired all of the time, and like many of you, our lives changed in 24 hours.

He has lost about 35 pounds in 6 weeks.  The J Tube was a miserable thing for him.  It wasn't right from the start.  We were not given the right instructions on how to use it, it got infected, then it came out on it's own.

I'm looking into more specialized hospitals, but have to wait and see what our insurance has to offer.  After reading these message boards, I need to find out all the medical and technical words that I need to know.  My mind is just so full of STUFF that I don't want to know, all about the medicine, I just want him to get better and get on with our lives....  I pray that will happen soon.

My heart goes out to all of you...  and I cannot imagine your loss and what it feels like.  I only know that this is more than I can bare at the moment.  God Bless you all...  if you have any advice for me, please let me know.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart....  Demery

 

 

 

 

paul61's picture
paul61
Posts: 1105
Joined: Apr 2010

Demery,

 I am very sorry to hear of your husband’s recent diagnosis. Like him, I was recently retired and looking forward to a long relaxing retirement when I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. It changed my wife and my life and priority system immediately. My short term suggestions would be:

  • Seek a second opinion at a National Cancer Institute designated cancer treatment center. Esophageal cancer is not well understood in the medical community and your best chance at comprehensive treatment is at a center that leads in research and clinical trials. It appears the nearest center to you is in Seattle, Washington. Here is a reference to their web site: http://www.cancer.gov/researchandfunding/extramural/cancercenters/find-a-cancer-center/fredhutchcrc
  •  Ignore all statistics that are published on web sites, or that may be given by your current doctor. The fact is that current statistics published on the internet are not current, and do not include the latest treatment options, and every patient responds to treatment differently.
  • There are Stage IV survivors that have lived with esophageal cancer for a number of years. Personal health profile, diet, exercise, and support make a big difference in managing cancer. But the most important differentiator is personal outlook and will to overcome the cancer.
  • Weight loss and dehydration are constant issues with survivors undergoing treatment. It is difficult to drink enough liquids to stay hydrated and eat enough to maintain weight when you are nauseated and have diarrhea. Ask your oncologist about regular IV hydration. Have your husband drink high protein, high carbohydrate smoothies. They are easier to swallow and provide both nutrition and hydration at the same time.
  • Have your husband’s tumor checked for HER2 over-expression. If he is HER2 positive there are some targeted therapy options that show real promise in keeping cancer in check.

Come here often when you have questions, there are many survivors here who have been where you are now and can help with real experiences.

Best Regards,

Paul Adams

McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/2009 T2N1M0  Stage IIB - Ivor Lewis Surgery  12/3/2009 - Post Surgery Chemotherapy 2/2009 – 6/2009

 

Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU - Three Year Survivor

Demery
Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2013

I will take your much needed advice.  We have an appointment on Wed. with the Dr. and I am going to ask about the HER2 over expression. I will be looking into the hospital you suggested in Seattle as soon as we get the test results on Oct. 29.

This board is a good resource to come too.  I am going to go in and share this information you just gave to me with my husband.  Thank you Paul!

Demery

 

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