Sep 05, 2013 - 4:18 pm
My name is Becca and I’m 22 years old. I’m writing this because I need some advice. Here’s a little about background info about my treatment process, etc. (I apologize for writing so much).
I was diagnosed with stage 3a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma this past February. I had eight ABVD chemo treatments, and after my last chemo I waited three weeks and got a body scan to see how I was responding to treatment. I got my results back and I had completely responded to treatment. But, there was one enlarged node in my chest that needed monitoring. My doctor recommended doing radiation just as a precaution. I then had 13 radiation sessions and on August 9th I was officially finished with my treatments.
Throughout my six months of treatment I continuously strived to stay positive. “Attitude is everything” is the quote I’ve grown to live by. Before I was even diagnosed I had always been a happy, high-spirited girl and there was no way I was going to let cancer change that. Of course I had my breakdown moments (because, hello cancer sucks!) but I never let myself stay down for long. Whenever I was around my family and friends I always acted like I was fine and that nothing was bothering me. Sometimes I just kept things to myself because I didn’t want to burden others with my continuous cancer talk. My family and friends were crazy supportive throughout my entire treatment. My mom and dad came with me to my first chemo treatment but after that I told them they didn’t need to miss work just to sit with me for three hours. I had minimal side effects in the beginning and went to the majority of my treatments by myself. That didn’t bother me because I kind of enjoyed having the time to myself. I’m extremely independent but towards the end of my chemos I really wanted someone there with me…. But I never asked anyone. My parents came with me to get the news from my body scan and I’m pretty sure they were more excited about it than I was. I guess I just had this idea in the back of my head that the cancer would be gone no doubt about it. I figured that once I was done with my eight chemo treatments that would be the end of it.
I’ve constantly been told that people are so impressed with how I handled the entire situation. Recently I’ve felt like I’m getting too much credit from those around me. And I have no idea why I feel that way… it’s like I don’t think I deserve it. I guess I just think that I would expect anyone else to handle it just like I did. Cancer attacked my body but it couldn’t attack my mentality, and I think that surprised many of my friends and family. I only dealt with cancer for five months and I feel like I don’t deserve any praise because it was such a short amount of time.
I am proud of myself, but I guess I just don’t understand why I think I don’t deserve for others to be proud of me?
If anyone has any advice please let me know.