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Just diagnosed and have the blues?

gamborgr
Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 2013

Just diagnosed with A1 typical complex - uterus and cervix coming out next week. But why am I all of the sudden in tears and extremely sad. This is not like me at all. I can take anyhting that comes my way. I am the rock of the family and community. Never felt this before. A severe cloud gloomy hovering - heavy on the heart. Comes and goes. The worst part is over as I am now on some Xanax (smal doeses). But that was very scary. I did not feel like hurting myself - but was worried about the next level of hovering - was it going to get worst - will I be able to take it. Any advise out there for the old rock?

NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 462
Joined: Mar 2013

It sounds like you have some help to get you through and talking it out always good.  You will find wonderful women here you should be able to give you advice from their own experience.  Try not to focus on the "next level" but on what you need to do to heal your body.    

gamborgr
Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 2013

Thank you for your fast reply. Easier said than done to not focus on the next level. The sadness was so strong I can not help but wonder if it comes and goes up to and after surgery. I am waiting ladies. I need you !!!

 

cheerful
Posts: 122
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Gamborgr:

  I wish you all the best with your surgery next week and good luck with going through it.  My surgery lasted 3 1/2 hours.  I did not have my lymph nodes analyzed though because at the time I had my surgery my gyn did not know I had cancer.  After I was diagnosed with this specific cancer (UPSC) a couple of weeks later, I saw my oncologist and he explained what kind of cancer UPSC was.  I was diagnosed with UPSC Stage 1 in February of 2011 after I had my hysterectomy and then I met with my oncologist before I left the hospital. I was in the hospital for 2 days and felt I should have been in the hospital longer but with insurance these days they don't want you to be in the hospital long.  I had bleeding for six months.   After my surgery, my incision broke open and I had to go back into the hospital.  I was in the hospital for 2 more days.

   I know I then went through chemo 6 rounds of Carboplatin and Taxol which are the standard treatments for UPSC and radiation (3 rounds of brachytherapy) and finished all of my treatments in October of 2011.  I made out very well going through chemo (only had a couple of side effects) other than losing my appetite for a few days after chemo and ate 2 meals rather than 3 of them.  I also lost about 30 pounds as well and felt better healthwise.  After my 5th round of chemo, my platelets were very low so I had to get a Neulasta shot and blood transfusion and felt much better after that treatment.  I finished with chemo the end of August of 2011 so it will be 2 years I finished with chemo next week.

  One of the hardest things for me was to lose all of my hair, but I went out shopping for a wig after I was diagnosed and lost my hair about 2 weeks after my first treatment. I bought a wig very close to the style I was wearing.   It took about 19 months before I went back to the hairdresser last October to get my first haircut since undergoing chemo.  Anyway, all of my hair came back (my hair had been very thick and now it is still thick, but the consistency of my hair is different).  I am keeping it shorter than I used to wear it and it does not feel as heavy on my neck or fall in my face much like it used to.  I wear a one length bob cut a very classic style that never goes out of style.  I am just really happy to have all of my hair back.

  I am very happy that my cancer was caught at an early stage and I did surmise that I had cancer after I started to bleed even after a few weeks, so I had a couple of tests done, but they did not show anything, as  I had a large fibroid, but anyway, I pushed to have the surgery done and had my surgery done in early February of 2011. I started with symptoms the end of July of 2010.  So far, I am without Evidence of disease for which I am very, very grateful.  I have Cat scans done 2 times a year and bloodwork for CA 125 my latest number was 7 this past June.  I just hope this cancer never returns on me.   My oncologist mentioned I have about a 15% chance of it coming back on me and I understand that the first 2 years are more likely of a reoccurrence. So far, so good and I hope it remains this way forever that I can remain cancer free.  UPSC is a rare and aggressive cancer and only about 4% of uterine cases are diagnosed with this type of cancer each year.  My oncologist highly recommended chemo no matter what stage you are diagnosed with since it can reoccur and he wanted to attack it aggressively with chemotherapy.  M oncologist has over 35 years of experience and he is nationally known.  I live in the Philadelphia, PA suburbs in Delaware County and the cancer center I went to is about a 10 minute drive from me so it is very close.  The hospital is right next to the cancer center as well.  My chemo nurses were very, very helpful and were great to deal with.

   I go back and see my oncologist in early October for a check-up.

   Just take one step at a time, it is understandably that you are nervous and scared and the important thing is if you have a lot of support from family and friends which I did and also if you have excellent doctors and that you can communicate well and are at ease with your doctors and that you can ask any questions.  Your oncologist should explain to you about your cancer.  I hope you make out very well with your surgery next week.  If you have a close family member or friend you can talk with before your surgery, then you can do so and hopefully it will take the edge off.

   I hope I was of help to you and the other ladies on this Board will be able to offer you their advice as well.  Keep us ladies posted.

Cheerful

 

Kathy G.'s picture
Kathy G.
Posts: 116
Joined: Dec 2012

Welcome Gamborgr!

Sounds like you are going thru a ton of emotions which I think all of us on this board can relate to. A little xanax is not a bad thing especially when you have received this type diagnosis.

My take on what you posted is that you will probably continue to go up and down and all around feelings-wise, and then once you get a sense of direction based on your treatment plan and prognosis things will balance out.

As said above, don't be hard on yourself. This is a difficult period in your life and you deserve the freedom to feel how you feel. It is very scary, and not knowing what is going to happen down the road only adds to throwing us off balance.

Be good to yourself,and keep us posted.

Kathy G.

ael111
Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2013

hi cheerful,i am not a cancer patient,but my mom is,we just got the results in yesterday,when the dr. told us she had uterine papillary serous carcinoma (upsc)i got very sick at my stomach & my knees went weak.but i know i have to be strong for my mom,i didnt show it.as soon as i could i started researching it & that is what lead me here.i just want to let you know that yes others find confort in your words & thank you for being so positive.we will take it day by day and never give up for it is in the lords hand.thank you again. 

RoseyR
Posts: 464
Joined: Feb 2011

 

Dear Cheerful,

 

Sounds as if you were treated at the same treatment center as I in Philadelphia and am glad to hear you're doing well.

 

I was diagnosed with Stage iB MMMT uterine cancer in September of 2010--so I am now three years from diagnosis and two years since end of treatment (six rounds of taxol/carbo and 25 external pelvic radiation treatments) and feeling great.

 

Despite the prestige of my treatment center ("One of Top Ten in the nation"), was not crazy about my oncologist who is very competent but not very communicative; had it not been for the integrative doctor I saw througout treatment (and whom I continue to see), I would have felt very frustrated.  If you LOVE your onc and wouldn't mind sharing his/her name (by email at top of our site if you prefer privacy?), I'd appreciate it.

 

Best,

Rosey

 

 

 

 

 

tattooedtxgirl's picture
tattooedtxgirl
Posts: 61
Joined: Sep 2013

I was diagnosed on 8/22/2013
Turned 41, 2days later.
I am up and down. I too am a rock. I thought this was what would weaken me...
HELL no!!! With love and support... This too shall pass. A moment in time that we must be stronger.
We've got this.
In my thoughts ;-)
Crystal

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 424
Joined: Apr 2011

Sorry you had to find us but glad you did.  The ladies on this site can help through the feelings as we know what you are going through.  You have the same expression that I use all the time, This too shall pass.  What part of Texas are you from?  I am in Dallas, Liz is in Dallas, DebraJo is down near Houston, so we have quite a few Texas ladies here.  Praying for you. trish

ael111
Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2013

high trisha55,we are from a small east texas town

,bout 2 hrs. east of dallas. 

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 424
Joined: Apr 2011

I can relate somewhat to what you are going through as a daughter as my Mom was told she had sarcoma cancer back in 1992 and it was aleady stage 4 and had spread considerably. We were told in Feb 92 and she passed May 1, 1992. Had my sister and I knew that it was stage 4 and had spread we would not have told her to fight and go through the chemo and radiation because her quality of life sucked big time afterwards.  She want into the hospital and never came out.  Fast forward 20 years and I am stuck by a different type of cancer, my how things have changed.  Chemo did not make me sick nor did I have to have radiation.  I think I was more scared of the radiation than the chemo.  Your support for your Mom is great.  I had my daughter supporting me through out and still does.  It does make a differece.

 

If you ever need a second opion my gyn onc dr works at UT Southwestern here in Dallas and is great.  Praying for your Mom, your family and you through out this journey.  trish

Sara Zipora's picture
Sara Zipora
Posts: 227
Joined: Sep 2010

Dx in July 2010, no symptoms xcept constipation. Stage IVB Grade III Adenocarcinoma clear and undifferentiated. four recurrences, two surgeries,  three or four rounds of chemo, five rounds radiation and Thank God still here fighting with our band of Warriorettes!

Sure there are ups and downs but like the suffragettes shoulder to shoulder we will be heard and be victorious.

Go girl go!

 

Sara

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 424
Joined: Apr 2011

Sorry you had to join us warriors but this is a great group of ladies and some men.  We do know what you are going through having been there and done that.  This site helped me through my battle and continued journey with Stage 3C carcinoma sarcoma uterine cancer.  Full hysterectomy followed by 6 rounds of carbo/taxol, so far so good just celebrated my two years NED from last treatment.  Having a positive attitude, faith, support from family and friends will get you through this.  For the family and friends that just do not get it sometimes, need to vent or express your fears, come to this site as we do know what you are going through.  Keep fighting. Prayers to you. trish

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 201
Joined: Oct 2009

Gamborgr...{{HUG}}  I just read your posting. What you felt and will feel is perfectly normal considering the situation you find yourself in. We all have experienced a roller coaster of emotions as we were diagnosed, fought and continue to fight as survivors. I am very happy that you found this discussion board early in your journey. I too am an "old rock" so to speak. I was diagnosed in May of 2009 Stage IIB endometrial (surgery, chemo, radiation, chemo).  Xanax or some anti anxiety drug is in order to help with the terrible uncertainty one has to deal with when dealing with uterine cancer.

You are strong and there are many "sisters" out here who have endured much and came out the other end seeing beauty in their lives like they have never seen before being told they had cancer and fighting the battle. Please stay strong and just know that whatever you are feeling it is OK and you will get through it.  Expect to feel angry, mad, depressed, happy, weary, thankful, confused, in control, out of control, joyful, tearful, pain, happy, thankful, depressed, uncertain, in control, out of control, and on and on until one day you find your new normal and joy at the thought of a new day to live, love, laugh and be thankful. Please keep us posted on how your are doing and where you are in your treatment journey. {{HUG}} Northwoodsgirl

RoseyR
Posts: 464
Joined: Feb 2011

 

Of course you are upset; we all were thrown for a loop by our cancer diagnosis.

 

As a three-year survivor of a highly aggressive uterine cancer--who needed six rounds of chemo and 25 pelvic radiation treatments two years ago--I can tell you, however, that life has been BETTER than ever before since my diagnosis.

 

The diagnosis forced me to analyze my life and my priorities--and to see how workaholism and the need to cope better with my time management and priorities could improve my life.

 

A new anti-cancer diet (based on the book Anti-Cancer by M.D. David S. Schreiber, who himself suffered a brain tumor and recurrence but lived far beyond his prognosis through a change in diet--helped me to lose not only thirty pounds (a happy side effect of the diet--but produced mood stabilization as well: no more late afternoon mood swings.  The four cups of green tea I drank every day also produced a great sense of calm from all the theanine in green tea, a powerful anti-cancer agent.

 

Nor was my treatment nearly as bad as I'd feared (taxol/carboplatin) because I saw an integrative doctor who prescribed several supplements that prevented ANY side effects beyond lost hair; I felt great throughout treatment and never lost my appetite or experienced nausea.

 

I honestly have enjoyed my life since diagnosis even more than before diagnosis.  Trhoughout treatment I also made some new friends (some online, some at my radiation center) and researched every aspect of my disease--and of cancer and nutrition--as possible.  All of this kept me from feeling like a helpless victim and made me feel empowered, taking some control over my own outcome.

 

As for xanax, although I've never taken any anti-depressant, I've read enough to convince me that sometimes they do as much harm as good and urge you, should you continue to feel low spirits, to investigate more natural mood boosters such as Omega-3 fatty acids, B complex vitamins, glutathione (abundant in whey concentrate protein shakes, but get a good brand of whey such as Whey to Go--and no whey isolates, but concentrates from grass-fed .

 

Again, I'd recommend Schreiber's upbeat book and the need to analyze what we can actually gain--despite the initial stress of our diagnoses.

 

Love,

Rosey

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