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forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1158
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi everyone,

It's been a little while since I checked in. I have been reading the posts but found it so very very hard to respond.

I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks. So much loss, it was just to to sad for me. I've lost three close friends since march, and the loss of Beth and then Nathan on this board and some wonderful ladies from the ovarian board, well it just floored me with saddness. It was only last year that I lost my mom as well.

I'm trying to keep moving forward and will try to respond more often.

My health, well that just always feels like an unknown. Overall I am doing okay. My latest scan did have some issues that I need to deal with and I am hoping that it's minor or just not more cancer. My ca 125 continues to creep up but remains in a safe zone. I still am dealing with pain but am managing to work with it..  Fatigue is another problem that wants to keep hanging on. I  just keep going till I can't. That seems to work for me at this point.

I am still flying across the country every month to deal with the crazy stressful business in FL. I know that adds to my fatigue, but as long as I can do it I will for now. Racking up some serious frequent flyer milesSmile.

One more thing to share with you all. I did something that I NEVER thought I would do. I have a real fear of heights, always have. Hate bridges, clifts, anything high that is not enclosed. What did I do?? I went Parasailing over the Gulf of Mexico! I really did. I still can't believe that I did it. I've either lost my mind or found a new kind of courage and zest for living. I think it's the new me. Hubby told me that he sees a change in me. I don't know, I still have fear, sometimes a lot of fear. All I know right now today is, that I am trying to live my life with no regrets and to live it in the moment. Tomorrow is just that, tomorrow.

I'll try to post a picture of me flying high.

You all are the greatest.Thank you for everything you give to me and to everyone.

Huge hugs,

Lisha

coachmike
Posts: 139
Joined: Oct 2011

Good for you Lisha

 

Cancer sucks but it really can put the focus back on what is important in life. We can all relate to that here. Do you mind if I ask what is ca 125 level?

 

Praying for you dear

Shoopy
Posts: 210
Joined: Jul 2013

Lisha,

Thank you for that post.  So full of emotion.  With the stuff I'm going through and about to go through...it really helped to your post. 

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Karl

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2004
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi Lisha - always nice to hear from you.  

Well, I hate to admit it but you have bigger "kahunas" than I do ;).  I can't bring myself to climb a ladder and clean out my gutters!  Bravo!  We all lose our minds here from time to time (especially John;)) but in your case, I think it's ZEST and that's a good thing so good for you! I can't wait to see the pics.

Yes, there has been sadness but there have been overwhelming positives on this site and I'm sure those who have gone wouldn't want us to dwell on that.  You have inspired me!  Maybe I'll jump off my front porch today!  Wink

Enjoy your new wings and big hugs,

Jim

 

 

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2418
Joined: May 2010

Jim,

  I don't lose my mind from time to time....I find it from time to time. Foot in Mouth John

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2004
Joined: Aug 2011

I know what you mean, John :).  Maybe we can invent a mind remote that makes it chirp when "lose it"?  Surprised

- Jim

Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 487
Joined: Mar 2013

Lisha, I'm glad you are doing so well. I am so proud of you for going parasailing! That is so cool. Just a few days ago, I was reading a novel in which some of the characters went parasailing. The author made it sound so fantastic and I wondered if I would ever be brave enough to do it. (I am also on the list of scardy cats regarding heights). Was it fun? Do you want to do it again?

My hat's (or wig) off to you girl,

Rocquie

 

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2010

Hello my sweet Libra buddy!

  I was so happy to see your post last night, but since it was late I decided to wait until today to respond. Wow...Parasailing! About 20 years ago I did it and it was thrilling to say the least! The part I didn't like was coming back down in the water...the ropes swirled around my legs while the boat swung around to pick me back up, and all that came to my mind was "jaws" so I kind of freaked out until my brother-in-law pulled me into the boat.Surprised I'm happy to hear that you are pushing through your pain and going ahead with daily challenges. The trips back and forth to Florida have got to be tiring, but from our conversations, it's a necessary task that needs to be done. I too was rocked by the passing of Beth and Nathan. They were the first in our group to pass since I had joined so it was very unnerving for me. My heart just broke! Beth, you and John spent many a late night conversing with me during my crazy prednisone break downs during chemo! I was a mess forsure, but will be forever grateful for all of the compassion and help you three gave me. Just wish I could have told Beth how much she ment to me before she passed. Well my friend...I will call you and we can catch up, or you call me...I'm still a night owl! Smile Tell Keith "Hi" for me and please check in more often. Much love to you Lisha...Sue

(FNHL-2-3A-6/10-age 62)

illead's picture
illead
Posts: 505
Joined: Aug 2012

It is very good to hear from you.  I hope life gets a little easier for you and your health issues are just minor.  It is such a struggle.  Your plate doesnt sound like it is getting any emptier.  Hope that happens soon.  Loved hearing about the parasailing, very exciting but I don't see that in my future.  I think I will stay in the state you were in before Smile.  Hope we hear from you again , Becky

anliperez915's picture
anliperez915
Posts: 748
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi Lisha,

Wow parasailing!!!! I wish I could do something like that...it sounds awesome! I'm happy to hear that you're out there enjoying life :D

About your CT scan, I really hope and pray that it will be nothing but scar tissue or something like that...take care of yourself and please take care of yourself. It is always so nice to hear from you! ((((Hugs))))

Sincerely,

Liz

girliefighter's picture
girliefighter
Posts: 207
Joined: Mar 2013

You look great in this picture!!!

Parasailing is so calm and serene once you get over the fear and hopefully don't pee down your leg while you're up thereLaughing

It is a very freeing feeling, I hope you were able to live in that moment and appreciate it then, so you can reflect on it later

Good for you

sending you well wishes

xxxooo

Carie

onlytoday's picture
onlytoday
Posts: 586
Joined: Jun 2010

Lisha,

So great to hear from you!  And so impressed that you went parasailing! Very very cool.  I think it's the courage that us survivors get. (Meaning I hope we haven't just lost our minds) I find that I do things that I never would before too.  It's good and I think a better way to live.  That's why my name on this board is "onlytoday". That's all we've got!  So I try to live each day to the fullest.

I think you look great and will pray that your fatigue improves.  

Hugs to you,

Donna

 

 

 

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