Jul 31, 2013 - 3:36 am
It's been a little while since I checked in. I have been reading the posts but found it so very very hard to respond.
I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks. So much loss, it was just to to sad for me. I've lost three close friends since march, and the loss of Beth and then Nathan on this board and some wonderful ladies from the ovarian board, well it just floored me with saddness. It was only last year that I lost my mom as well.
I'm trying to keep moving forward and will try to respond more often.
My health, well that just always feels like an unknown. Overall I am doing okay. My latest scan did have some issues that I need to deal with and I am hoping that it's minor or just not more cancer. My ca 125 continues to creep up but remains in a safe zone. I still am dealing with pain but am managing to work with it.. Fatigue is another problem that wants to keep hanging on. I just keep going till I can't. That seems to work for me at this point.
I am still flying across the country every month to deal with the crazy stressful business in FL. I know that adds to my fatigue, but as long as I can do it I will for now. Racking up some serious frequent flyer miles.
One more thing to share with you all. I did something that I NEVER thought I would do. I have a real fear of heights, always have. Hate bridges, clifts, anything high that is not enclosed. What did I do?? I went Parasailing over the Gulf of Mexico! I really did. I still can't believe that I did it. I've either lost my mind or found a new kind of courage and zest for living. I think it's the new me. Hubby told me that he sees a change in me. I don't know, I still have fear, sometimes a lot of fear. All I know right now today is, that I am trying to live my life with no regrets and to live it in the moment. Tomorrow is just that, tomorrow.
I'll try to post a picture of me flying high.
You all are the greatest.Thank you for everything you give to me and to everyone.