Jul 31, 2013 - 12:06 am
Well my fellow lymphomaniacs...I am sitting here in an unusually unsettling state, I know I should be happy, jovial etc right now; tomorrow is my last chemo treatment. But I have to be honest with you, I am more nervous than a prostitute in church. It feels like it is my first treatment all over again. I keep thinking "what now?, what's next?"
I am returning back to work on Monday and back to school on August 26th, so I guess that means welcome back to the real world!!! I keep feeling like I was living a nightmare and it is finally almost over, but to be quite honest it went soooooooo quickly. I am kind of still in shock that I had Cancer, that is how fast it moved. I guess I truly never accepted my diagnosis and am still in denial...lol<-----which is something I recommend to anyone
I am so excited by the people that are ending their treatments and able to get back to their "normal" lives, even though we all know that our "normal" will never be the same as pre-diagnosis. You grow so much, you gain compassion and zest for life, gratitude for being able to see another day or another hour even, priorities change (it's like having that first child all over again), humanity and faith in it is once again restored, simple things please you now (VERY SIMPLE THINGS, like the sun shining on your face or the wind in your hair if you have any left), my life truly has been changed and I am so glad you were ALL a part of it and will continue to be.People often look at me like I am crazy<-----and I sometimes am, because I say "I am ok";This whole journey I know is to lead me on another path in my life. I hope all of your journeys have inspired you to inspire someone else. You will never get me to repeat this again, but this journey; My journey has been a gift from GOD! Yup, It is official I am crazy; I just said Cancer was a gift from God. I am not even currently on any anti-anxiety pills either...lol...
Sending you all well wishes