Jul 21, 2013 - 10:04 am
I really don't know what has been going on with me lately. Up until my colostomy reversal surgery June 17th, I was doing great, had a positive attitude, and was looking forward to the reversal. Tomorrow it will be five weeks since the surgery, and I still haven't recovered. Right from the week of surgery, my abdominal area (all over) has been sore and I occasionally feel short of breath. Deeps breaths cause pain under my ribcage. I knew recovery would be slow, but for whatever reason I have been in a major funk. My husband (stage 4 melanoma) had a ct scan last week which was overall very good. The tumor under his right armpit showed shrinkage; the one under his left armpit, as well as the two small ones on his clavical showed growth of maybe a mm or 2. Our oncologist is not concerned, and is rather pleased (the one under his right armpit). Of course I panicked about the mm or 2 growth in the others. As for me, I had my second chemo since surgery (my last one included Avistan). But it seems I have a good day of feeling great, then days after of being sore, which escalates into worry about spreading, etc. Today I feel great, and I can say my reversal kicked in quickly. I haven't had to use miralax or laxative or softener for over a week now. So I think I'm just on this pity party for me; I seem to be so sensitive to everything. Yesterday was my niece's bridal shower; it was fun and I feel great today, considering how I did more yesterday than usual. But on the way home, it made me think of the grandkids I may or may never see, and other events. Like I said, prior to surgery, I was doing great emotionally. Jim (husband) is doing great, feels great. My surgeon says I'm doing great (surgically) and my oncologist can't even feel my liver anymore. I know I'm rambling; I'm lucky to have a great support system, but I wish, like everyone else on this board, I could go back to my "before cancer" life. And I know my situation is not as bad as some others. Again, I'm rambling, but I think just posting here makes me feel better!!!
Thanks for reading my rambling!