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Dealing with uncertainty

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

This is my challenge and really the challenge of anyone who has ever been diagnosed with cancer. S far, I have some good news, some unanswered questions. The growth in my breast is not malignant! Yay! There are multiple nodules in my lungs now. Some are new, one has grown since my initial scans in 2011. I will have more tests ahead. To say that I am not terrified would be a lie. Yet, My faith is not shaken. I do feel that I am in good hands and I am blessed to live in the Boston area, because I truly believe that the doctors are the very best and the hospital is phenomenal! So, I put my trust in God and the doctors. I try to be as informed as I can, and I live my life each day. Cancer had forced me to mend bridges, repairing relationships, to ask for forgiveness where i need to be forgiven, and to offer forgiveness to those who have done me wrong in the past. This has been a blessing in my life. See very clearly now what is important and what is not. For me only one thing in my life has any value now, and that is the love I have for family and friends. I have been so blessed and I am determined to live each day that I have. Life is good!

Jo Joy
Posts: 39
Joined: Oct 2012

So good to hear about breast biopsy results!! 

I also think my cancer experience has taught me to take better care of my health and to set boundaries with people about the use if my time.  I feel no guilt about saying no to requests that would cause precious time to be taken from me.  Still praying for you my friend!

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

Exactly! Thank you for the prayers!!!

TraceyUSA
Posts: 132
Joined: May 2013

I've been following your posts and am so happy for your good news and hope you receive more good news soon.  When I was first diagnosed a good friend (who's a breast cancer survivor) told me to stay in the present and not wonder about the "what ifs".  That advice saw me through treatments with a fairly positive attitude (most of the time).  I notice that everytime I start worrying it's usually because I'm concentrating on what could happen instead of what is happening.  I've come to see that the old cliche, 'one day at a time,' holds some truth.  Being informed, having faith in God, your doctors & medical staff, the support of family & friends, counting your blessings, living life in a way that makes you happy will see you through.   You're strength is amazing and helps keep me on the right track too.  You remain in my prayers to St. Peregrine!

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

I went and got a little booklet of novena prayers to St. Peregrine. Thank you for the prayers!

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 2857
Joined: Jan 2010

Thank God for the good news about your breast biopsy!  I am very glad to hear that.  As for the lung nodules, I hope that your great team of doctors have a plan for complete resolution of those if they turn out to be sinister, but my hope is that they will also be found to be benign.  Hang on to your faith, trust in your doctors, and know that all of us here have you in our thoughts and prayers.

pializ
Posts: 257
Joined: Nov 2012

A plane flew over our house today going from London to Boston. Guess what? I thought of you. But then I don't need a plane to keep you in my thoughts. You just are! Fantastic news about breast. Let's hope the rest are benign too. What is happening regarding the interview you were due? Liz

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

Thanks. I had the second interview and I think it went well. They said the announcement would be in 3 weeks. It will be 3 weeks this Thursday. I am hopeful, but not counting on it. I am also wondering whether I would pass the physical that is required. The way I am looking at it is that if it is God's will, it will happen. It really would be amperfect job for me if my health holds up. Que sera, sera.

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

Thank you for all your support!

K8M
Posts: 43
Joined: Jun 2013

Hi Marynb

Great news about the breast lump - I could tell you were worried.

I dont believe in God, but I will say a little prayer for you anyway, as after all I have nothing to lose. So, just in case, eh!

K8M x

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

Thanks for making me smile.....you saying a prayer , though you say you on't believe. Hedging your bets....lol. I don't know haoe I would have gotten through any of this if I didn't have my faith that there is a God. It must make it more difficult. God Bless you!

jcruz
Posts: 216
Joined: Jan 2013

As always I keep you and others here in my thoughts and wish for only the best possible news and outcomes for all of us.

I am not a believer although growing up in a christian home which included a Baptist preacher grandfather gives me an understanding and a respect for other's beliefs.  I would never discount the power of faith and prayer for those who do believe in God.  When people told me they were praying for me when I was sick I thanked them.  I would never ask them not to do that even though I don't share their beliefs but I simply don't think it means anything.  I don't think a lack of religious belief made my experience more difficult - it just made it different.

 

sandysp's picture
sandysp
Posts: 754
Joined: May 2011

 

Dear Mary,

I was so relieved to hear about the breast lumps. I hope the lung issues are resolvable and you will be feeling your oats again soon. You sound like you have way more "oats" than most people I know as it is!

I think living in the unknown is much worse than living in the "known." God doesn't give us any more than we can handle. I visited the rare cancer site and realized how much gratitude I have for having the cancer I had.

My PT said metastasis is really a very difficult thing to happen to someone. Our bodies are set up to stop them, so they really are rare in most cancer situations. This was comforting news. I think it's hard not to worry about it once the word Cancer has been uttered to us, it seems to sort of hover for a while. Hopefully not too much longer for any of us here.

All my best prayers!

Love,

Sandy

Marynb
Posts: 1134
Joined: Aug 2012

Thank you for your kind words. Looks like I will have another Ct scan in a few weeks. I am hanging in there.

qv62
Posts: 255
Joined: Nov 2012

So glad to hear your good news Mary !! I will pray you hear more good news, I am glad you mentioned St Perigene, I have been meaning to get a prayer booklet as well, sorry for the late response on your news, as you know I was away, so I am just now catching up, blessings to you !!!

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