Jul 09, 2013 - 5:46 pm
My mom recently moved in with my family. She was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer about 2 years ago after a round of chemo and 2 surgeries she has been told the cancer is back and her body is too weak to go through chemo again and even if they did do chemo it would be palliative care not a cure. My mom also has an Ileostomy bag from her last surgery. She is currently at a point where she is able to get up and walk around and enjoy spending time with the family. Over the past couples week I have been the main caregiver though I do go into my office 3 days a week (I will work from home as the disease progress) and we are utilizing hospice. However I have found that I am having anxiety over death in general. I seem to be very worried about my own death and I am even more concerned that I will not be able to be around when she physically passes. I really want to be with her and be able to continue to take care of her however I am finding that I have extreme anxiety and sadness from all of this and from death consistently being in the house and around. I don’t believe anyone should die alone because I know I would not want to but I do understand why we put people in nursing homes - not necessarily because the care can’t be provided with at the home but because we are uncomfortable talking and dealing with death. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with death especially the fear of you own mortality when you are in a caregiver postion.