Jun 29, 2013 - 8:33 am
It’s sobering how we can go through such an ordeal and come out the other side with war wounds we thought unimaginable prior to our battle allowing us to call ourselves survivors. The people on the staged TV series don’t have a clue in the true meaning of becoming a survivor.
Two months prior to being told I had cancer I lost my Dad. For no apparent reason he decided it was time for him to leave this earth. It is the only selfish act my family and I can recall him being guilty of. I was devastated and confused with how an 80 year old in perfect health could do such a thing. Then like another brick to the head, two months later I was told I had cancer. My initial thought was now I can ask Dad what the hell was going through his mind other than the bullet he put through it. My life seemed to be in a downward spiral and I had serious doubts that getting it back on track would be possible. Soon after my radiation treatments and returning to work I had stopped into a diner for lunch. While sitting waiting for my bowl of soap I seen a man sitting in a both that I swore was my Dad. He was sitting alone motionless and I thought maybe he may have been waiting on someone. Having to use the restroom which was stationed between us I got up and walked towards him and I couldn’t take my eyes off him thinking my God this man is my Dad. We made eye contact and I wanted to go and sit down but couldn’t muster up what I would say. I almost walked past the restroom door but as I caught myself he smiled and nodded his head as if to say hello as I went through the doorway. While taking care of business I convinced myself that I had to approach this man and explain myself. In my line of business I have to say things off the cuff all the time and couldn’t believe I didn’t do so on the way in. I left the restroom and made a right to approach him and he was gone. I stood by the empty both and it was already set up for the next customer.
Today I celebrate my thirtieth birthday (twice) and words can’t describe the tingling feeling I get when I think back about my personal ordeal. Yes, God, family and friends inspired my survival with unquestionable support. But my Dad gave me so much more, he gave me the nod which doesn’t make up for what he took away from my family but it did help to soften the blow for me.
God bless every fighter, caregiver, and survivor. I’ve been blessed with far more than I deserve and although I don’t always express it, I am thankful for it every day. I thank God for today and tell him I look forward to tomorrow. Now I am going to celebrate 60 years of life and especially the last 3 that cancer tried to take away.
Enjoy the day……….I certainly will.