Jun 18, 2013 - 10:07 am
The old me didn't cry. I think I cried maybe 3 times in the past five years. The new me cries at the drop of a hat. I hate the way I look when I pass a mirror. I'm bald now. My eyebrows are starting to fall out. My feet and ankles are swollen so that I don't even recognize them. I am tired all the time. I just want the old me back before they mutilated my boobs. I used to have a gorgeous set of DDD's... All natural. Not where they used to be perky wise, after all at 47 who would expect them to be... But at least I didn't look deformed like I do now. They can't finish reconstruction until I finish chemo (2 more treatments). They put D size implants in DDD size "empty boob sacks" so the D's spread out and now I look deformed And have huge scars. I know that my plastic surgeon will fix all this but it's so depressing just waiting and waiting. Meanwhile, it's back to chemo in 3 days and then everything I eat or drink tastes like poision and all I want to do is sleep!