Jun 09, 2013 - 8:32 pm
So on friday I walked the survivor lap at a Relay for Life. I went with a young woman that I met at school who was treated for breast cancer 8yrs ago and wanted to go but is new in the area and had no one to go with. She asked me to walk with her, so I did. As I walked and saw all the smiling proud faces of the people clapping on the sides I felt, for lack of a better word confused. I went to the doctor, was diagnosed, given a treatment plan, yes I DID suffer, I got better, and now I walk a lap and they all clap for me ????????? I personally never felt it was my choice to survive or not, it was a gift that I received....and my gratitude and thanks to God is deep. I felt sort of undeserving of their clapping, like although the journey to health was difficult, again, it was my only choice to follow the plan. I don't think I ever contemplated failure. I don't feel like a warrior, fighter, etc. If someone can help me to see what I'm missing here, please do. This woman I was with seemed different than me. She held her head high and strong and breathed in all the congratulations. I pride myself on doing GREAT now, but I'm wondering if I'm supposed to be feeling something different. I am supposed to meet some friends at another relay in a couple weeks but not sure if I'll do the survivor lap or not. We have a local band playing at it with a young man that was one of my favorite students when I worked at school in it and he wants me to be there. What does survivor mean anyhow????