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Family Issues

buddy16
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2013

My mom got diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer a year ago.. Upon getting diagnosed you would think that your family would be a help.. My dads parents live 15 minutes away.. They never came to help.. They acted like it was nothing.. or compared her to dying.. Now here I am a year later, totally fed up. I feel bitter and hurt with their lack of care and lack of thought. How do I try to move on from this.. I feel like I'm holding such a grudge against them, and I just want to let go.. But it hurts so bad. And I know it hurts my dad to know how they were to us.. When your grandmother can look at you and have no feeling or worry as to if I or my sisters could inherit this cancer.. Then basically acting like my mom is a-ok or then dying.. I'm sorry if this sounds roundabout, but it is so stressful, and here I am a year later at my limit.. If anyone has any helpful suggestions, it would be so appreciated. Thanks.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1302
Joined: Aug 2010

Although we want to think our family and friends will be there during such rough times, show compassion and provide support, some people are not wired that way.  Conversely, some people are just not good at these things and tend to pull back rather than doing something they have no confidence in doing.

If your grandparents were close to your mom before her diagnosis, I'm surprised at their attitude.

If they weren't, illness tends to either draw people closer or push them away.

Have you tried talking with them about it?  Did anyone give them any specific requests during the illness (such as please stop by the grocery store and bring us a gallon of milk) or ask if they could come sit with your mom when things were rough?

Make sure the oppportunity was extended to them.  It's not too late now. 

Hoping your mom is doing better and that there are good times and opportunities ahead for you to move past this.

shinning_like_me's picture
shinning_like_me
Posts: 23
Joined: May 2013

hEY THERE,

SO SORRY FOR YOUR MUM, bUT TRUST ME SHE WILL BE FINE, ALL YOU DO IS TAKE CARE OF HER AND MIOST IMPORTANT LOVE HER MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY THAT WILL HEAL HER FOREVER. 

Why are you even having hopes on some one else helping you. Be strong and help yourself, if they are not turning up to u guys, Its Better you do things for yourself and your mum, I think yr dad should have talked to yr grand parents about this. But trust me if you and yr sis both handle this you we feel much better than the fake interference and indulgence by others. Even this doesnt make you feel better than speak to them about how you feel for there past behaviour which was absolutely ungrateful. you must vent out your feeling to your dad and grand parents.

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