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Funny Bonz IV

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

In parochial school, students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advised, that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the Truth differently without lying, for example:

The hairdryer;

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' '

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.

Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!'

 

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1264
Joined: Jul 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw

Wear Depends while watching

 
garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

This is what happens when your child is exposed to too many commercials on TV.

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon.
During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........


The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor." It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

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