May 08, 2013 - 11:23 am
Tomorrow I'll finish my third week of radiation and Monday I'll start my second round of chemotherapy. All in all I'm having a very good day. My energy level is up today, which is great. The calm before the storm, I guess, with chemo next week. My throat pain, which had been getting worse for several days, has dropped off and last night I had a really good night's sleep. That really helps. I've been able to keep my weight up which is great.
I'm struggling with negative thoughts about treatment outcomes and the future. It kind of feeds on itself since I've heard that a negative outlook can contribute to negative outcomes, so I just beat myself up more. The weakness I'm feeling also doesn't help. I try to keep remembering that I'm dealing with the treatment and the treatment is dealing with the disease, but it's hard. I'm really frustrated with myself and my thought patterns right now.
Thanks for being here to listen. I don't know what I would do without an outlet for all this.