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My Cherokee Irishman Has Gone Home

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1212
Joined: Apr 2009

All My Friends,

With the help of the wonderful Hospice group, my Ron was transported to our home Saturday at 2:30 PM. Robert & I rode with him. It was expected that he would expire shortly afterward. However, he managed to hang on until 9:10 AM Sunday. There was no struggle, only my own. He woke as the vent was removed, opened his eyes & said "I am alive". But it was not to be. He returned to sleep immediately and was kept comfortable until his tired body said it was time to go. I believe he knew that we had brought him home. We played his favorite John Wayne movies, held his hands tightly, & talked to him all night. JBG woke & came into the room & cried saying "Please God, why don't you take him home." Ten minutes later he took his final breath. As I am not a person of strong faith as she is, it is very hard to wrap my mind around this, but she & Ron had a special bond, so who am I to question what happened?

I am numb. I know many of you have been here before and in time, we will get through this. I removed every nasty reminder of this terrible illness from my sight. I could not stand to look at all the meds & equipment. I'm hoping they'll get it out of my house tomorrow.

Even though I thought I knew this man so well, I did not realize he had had been saving small amounts of money to help us after he was gone, enough to put a down payment on his funeral. I found it with a small card I had purchased in the hospital gift shop & given to him him after he became so ill six months ago. I would like to share with you the words on this card:  I love you as you are. I love you as you will be. I love you because there's this little part of me(my heart)...that tells me that you and I were simply and always meant to be.

I cried when I found this card, for you see, that is what each of us felt for the other. I am proud to have been his wife for forty one years and he will always be in my heart.

Luv,

Wolfen

yensid683
Posts: 242
Joined: Apr 2012

No one should ever have to go through what you and your family have.  It is just not fair.

My wife and I have followed your journey and now are both saddened at your loss, and happy for your husband that his long suffering is over.  May you and your children find solace in one another over the next few difficult days

We're here for you whenever you need us

Ladylacy
Posts: 517
Joined: Apr 2012

Karen, as I read your message my heart is breaking for you and yours.  All I can say is that I hope and pray that I can be as strong as you, Vivian and others on this site, when it comes to my husband and letting him go.

God Bless you and your family.

Sharon

Threelittlebirds
Posts: 39
Joined: May 2013

I am so sorry for your loss.  I truly hope he is in a much better place and is no free of any pain.

Duggie88's picture
Duggie88
Posts: 570
Joined: Feb 2010

Although he had to make the journey God chose, you gave him the send off he wanted. Words can never take away the hurt and sorrow but friends can soften the blow. From what I see you have plenty of friends here to lean on.

Thoughts and Prayers

      Jeff

Grandmax4's picture
Grandmax4
Posts: 597
Joined: Dec 2011

words, to express the sympathy, I feel for you and your family~~may peace be with you

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8103
Joined: Sep 2009

Dearest Wolfen, I'm sorry for the loss of your husband, until you are joined again...

I can only think of it as sorrow, for your immediate loss, transition for you and of the return of your husband to earth and his cherokee forefathers, and celebration of his life with you, his diginity and thoughtfulness for you and family & the forty plus years of memories that you will always have..

John

michdjp's picture
michdjp
Posts: 200
Joined: Sep 2011

My family and I are truly sorry for your loss your post was both sorrowful and beautiful at the same time.  You were blessed to have had such a love in your life.  

With my sincerest condolences

michelle

VivianLee5689's picture
VivianLee5689
Posts: 546
Joined: Aug 2012

Karen, I am so very sorry you lost the man you loved so well for so long.  I understand how you feel about getting the hospital things out of the house. It took almost three weeks to get the hospital bed out and every time I'd go in the family room I would break down. I really do want you to call if you need or want and sympathetic ear.  I can't make you feel no pain, but I am a good listener. 

MarineE5
Posts: 762
Joined: Dec 2005

Wolfen,

No words that I type here today will ease the pain you feel. But hopefully, as time passes, so does the pain and only fond memories remain.

katenorwood
Posts: 1863
Joined: May 2012

Karen,

May you find comfort in the arms of your family and they in yours.  You are a wonder, and my heart holds you near.  Katie

CivilMatt's picture
CivilMatt
Posts: 3090
Joined: May 2012

 

Wolfen,

 

I am deeply saddened by your loss and touched by this final story.  Please, accept my heartfelt condolences.

 

Yours truly,

 

Matt

 

rachel12yrsuv's picture
rachel12yrsuv
Posts: 432
Joined: Feb 2013

Karen,

 

I so hoped Ron will pull through, and even though my head told me differently, my heart wanted it so bad.  With David and now your sweet Ron, who would've thought that the passing of two men I never meant would hurt so bad that it brings me to tears.  You were such a brave supporter of your Hero fighter, Ron.  All he wanted to do was come home even if it meant passing there, and you made sure that his final wish was made, and that his by means of that card, made sure you never once question who you were to him and how you made him happy.  It his parting note he left you one less thing to worry about financially and a sweet discription of your life together that you can hold to.  Some people think what mark have I left in this world, you left an indelable mark on the heart of your sweet Ron and he on yours.

Karen I am so sad, I cant think of anything else to say besides I love you and I am here for you if you should ever need me.

RIP Sweet Ron, I hope you are resting on an Angels wing right next to David!

 

God be with you and your family and may He wrap His mericful arms around you and bring you comfrot in this time of grief. Amen

 

Rachel
 

Patti1967
Posts: 186
Joined: Mar 2013

Wolfen, I am so very sorry for your loss.  Prayers to you and your family.

Patti

phrannie51's picture
phrannie51
Posts: 3852
Joined: Mar 2012

Karen.  The card was so touching, I sat here reading and choked up.....what a dear sweet thing to do....the man of few words left some pretty profound ones.  For Ron I am relieved that his suffering has come to an end....for you I can only reach out and tell you how much I admire the strength, humor, dignity....and class you have shown thru this long hard journey. 

My heart felt sympathy goes out to you and your family.

p

ditto1
Posts: 634
Joined: Mar 2012

Diane and I want you to know we care and our sympathy for your loss.  God Bless you and your Family.

GavinP's picture
GavinP
Posts: 80
Joined: Feb 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss.   My deepest sympathies.

MICH4EL's picture
MICH4EL
Posts: 73
Joined: Mar 2013

I am very sorry for your loss.  I am glad you were able to be with him, at home, at the end. 

M

hwt's picture
hwt
Posts: 2008
Joined: Jun 2012

My prayers are with you and your family. 

God Bless,

Candi

fishmanpa's picture
fishmanpa
Posts: 1134
Joined: Jan 2013

Wolfen,

My condolences on your loss. Blessings in that it seems it was peaceful and he knew he was loved.

"T"

D Lewis's picture
D Lewis
Posts: 1547
Joined: Jan 2010

So very sorry for your great loss. Find solace in your forty one years of happy memories.

Deb

lorig01
Posts: 69
Joined: Jul 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you and your family.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1317
Joined: Aug 2010

For you and your family, wolfen.

I am sorry for your loss.

jim and i's picture
jim and i
Posts: 1685
Joined: May 2011

My Thoughts and prayers are with you and your children during this time of grief. May God bring you comfort.

Debbie

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