May 02, 2013 - 12:08 pm
On the bottle top of a ( U.K. ) flavored milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray: THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
On a Sears hairdryer: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a child's Superman costume: WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. ( that's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy.
On an American Airlines pack of nuts: INSTRUCTIONS --OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. ( i'm sure glad they cleared that up )
On a bar of Dial soap: DIRECTIONS -- USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. ( as opposed to what -- use in outer space? )
An Amost Perfect Life
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.
The old man says, " I'm a multimillionaire. I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and, I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell."
The jogger says, " Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you're sitting here in the park crying? "
The old man says, " I can't remember where I live. "
♥Love, Susie ♥