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~~ Read The Label First HA HA'S & A Good Ole HA HA Joke ~~

susie09's picture
susie09
Posts: 2933
Joined: Jul 2009

On the bottle top of a ( U.K. ) flavored milk drink:  AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray:  THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

On a Sears hairdryer:  DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a child's Superman costume:  WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.  ( that's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy.

On an American Airlines pack of nuts:  INSTRUCTIONS --OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.  ( i'm sure glad they cleared that up )

On a bar of Dial soap:  DIRECTIONS -- USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:  FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.  ( as opposed to what -- use in outer space? )

 

 An Amost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out.  A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. 

The old man says, " I'm a multimillionaire.  I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and, I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell."

The jogger says, " Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life.  What could be so wrong in your life that you're sitting here in the park crying? "

The old man says, " I can't remember where I live. "

 Love, Susie
DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

Those are funny!  Thanks Susie!

 

Hugs, Debby

susie09's picture
susie09
Posts: 2933
Joined: Jul 2009

You're welcome!  Have a favorite Debby?

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

The superman and the nuts were hilarious!  And, I hope that old man in your joke finds his home.  He is missing out on a LOT!  lol

JJDS
Posts: 259
Joined: Apr 2013

Ha Ha

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 3983
Joined: Oct 2009

Love these!  Thanks for a good laugh!

kmenurse's picture
kmenurse
Posts: 223
Joined: Apr 2013

Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee!!

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

LOL

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