May 01, 2013 - 9:14 pm
I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to ask this kind of question, and it might be better directed to a different kind of forum, but everyone here has been so supportive through my mom's illness, so I figured it can't hurt to try.
For those of you who have been following my posts about my mom's situation, you'll know that her cancer has recently receded an astonishing amount, and that she had a colostomy so as not to continue to suffer from the excruciating pain she was under before. I may have also mentioned that my dad is her primary caretaker, and I myself have recently moved back to their neighborhood so I can be closer to help her. She tells me every day how much she needs me, and not to leave her. But she's not just saying that because of the cancer now.
My parents have been married for 30 years, and for the past 10 (I say 15) it's been a pretty unhappy marriage. In 2010, my mom finally told my dad she wanted a divorce. I'm not going to go into the details, but it was a really ugly two years that followed, and I was way deeper into it than any child should be in this kind of marital question of her parents. But so it was. The divorce proceedings were ended with my mom's diagnosis, and my dad has been taking care of her hand and foot. But now as she's getting better, the ugly side of their relationship is starting to peak out again.
I think it's appalling that someone would "beat cancer" (for now) only to dread the life that they see remaining for them following recovery. And I have spent hours trying to console her, to tell her it will be different, that I'm here now (after 10 years) and that I won't let things get to the way they were before. But she can't get past her anger and sadness at what's past. And there seems to be nothing at all that I can do.
So...what do I do???