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I Feel Good, But...

MichelleLynn
Posts: 17
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi, everyone!

I have only posted once here before. I have BC with mets to the pelvic/spine.  I had radiation and it has really relieved a lot of pain in my back.  I still feel stiffness, but not sure what to do about that (or if I can).  It would be nice to feel even better.  Asking for too much, maybe?  LOL

I am also having a hard time sleeping.  Tried Midnite (OTC), but it doesn't help as much as I hoped.  I still wake up just about every 2 hours. I do not want to take anything that is going to make me groggy in the morning or something that I will have to take forever.  I'm on Tamoxifen and monthly injections of Zometa, so I am also not sure if anything will interfere.  And, yes.  I will probably ask my doctor.  :)  And...I'm open for suggestions from any of you, of course. 

I just went back to work on Monday and I feel pretty good. Starting off P/T and then will work my way back into F/T in the next few weeks (hopefully).  I am a little tired, but not too much (and mostly when I feel zonked, it's due to not sleeping good the night before). 

So...I feel good, but I wonder if I should be enjoying it.  I know that sounds funny to say, but I just sometimes wonder if another ball is going to drop on me.  I was just really diagnosed in December with this and so it's still all fairly new.  I read WAY too much on the internet.  Some of it awful, some of it good...and then I rely on forums - like this - to REALLY find out "now" information because to me, reading all these stories with people living with bone mets for a long while is REALLY helping me.  I am encouraged, inspired, and really grateful that others are sharing their stories and experiences.  I realize that all the stuff I was reading on the internet....in the end...nobody really can tell you anything.  An expiration date?  Hard to tell because nobody has one and everyone is individual.  I try to steer away from the statistics of it all.  Do you think I'm finally learning?  :)

I am 42 with 3 young kids and I want to be around for a long time.  Period. Bottom line.  Yes, I know....Doesn't everyone?  So you know...most days now, I don't "forget", but I try not to think the "doom and gloom" every minute of the day. I'm not sure what it is...whether it's just that I've been busy with other things or that I am beginning to gain more positivity in thinking that I really CAN and WILL deal with this for a long while....Hmmmm....

Anyway, I am just yapping, but appreciate being able to come on here.  Of course, nobody has to respond. Sometimes it's good just to yap, so thank you if you've read this! 

HUGS!

 

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5504
Joined: Oct 2010

Michelle:

 

good to hear from you...

 

Denise

MichelleLynn
Posts: 17
Joined: Apr 2013

Thank you, disneyfan2008!!  It's good to hear from you, too!  :)  I hope you have been doing well!

Gabe N Abby Mom's picture
Gabe N Abby Mom
Posts: 2415
Joined: Sep 2010

Michelle, I'm stage IV also and plan to be here for a long long time too.  I have two kids and I want/need to be here to help them finish growing up.  We have several here who are stage IV, and some have had been dealing with this beast longer than I've had kid

Come back anytime you need to 'talk' with those who will understand. 

Hugs,

Linda

 

 

MichelleLynn
Posts: 17
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi, Linda!

Thank you SO much for chiming in...from one Stage 4 to another!

I know there are many survival stories.  I have to really focus on those - such inspiration!  I am trying to focus on LIFE and sometimes I find myself long past the actual diagnosis I have...living "normally", but then I remember....but yes!  I, like you, have kids and want to be around for a long, long time!

HUGS to YOU and thank you soooo much, Linda!

camul's picture
camul
Posts: 2130
Joined: Dec 2010

I too am stage iv and don'feel funny. If you feel good enjoy yourself. I take advantage od every good day. It is what keeps you going, along with your need to be here for our kifs, l know just having a kind of wierd sensr of humor also keeps me going.
There are times when I forget there thongs, Then I go back to reading about Budism and try and practice finding happiness in the smallest things. I wish you all the best. Keep posting!
Hugs,
Ca

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