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Encouragement

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 2065
Joined: Oct 2011

My story is getting old. But there are always so many new people. NOW STOP IT AND GO AWAY! NO MORE KIDNEY CANCER!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I exhaled and it came out loud.

What I want to say is hang tough. Force yourself to fight. Too many give up. That bugs me to no end. Unfortunately some fight and lose. I cry about that. Way to sad for me. It hurts so much. I do take it personally whenever a poor outcome is inevitable. So proud of the lucky ones. I am one. Why me? I don't know. I am here because I got lucky. Part of my luck is because I didn't accept giving up. I was fortunate to have recieved the opportunity to recieve MDX-1106. Now I am living!!!!!!!

Ramble ramble ramble......... So keep fighting or I'll send some nasty bikers your way to kick your a**.

I tell you this today because I am alive despite a poor prognosis. Not only am I alive, I can beat anyones a** because I stay in good shape. I FIGHT!

I have had many many tumors go away.  Some remain in my bones. Man, they can hurt. I've had times that breathing, sneezing and coughing can put me to the floor. I have probably passed out many times. Then when I can, I exercise. I run. I lift light weights. Do you know why I lift light weights?.............

It's because I can't lift heavy ones!!!!!!!!!( that joke never gets old)   Doesn't stop me from being as aggressive and mean as I can be against cancer.

Why this story? Because today I agreed to golf with my buddies today. I was scared sh**less. The broken ribs hurt. I figured that easy swings, chips and putts may not kill me. And guess what? After a few holes, I was playing well. I am pumped.

So anyway, tomorrow I go fo my 24th infusion. With an extra dose of zometa added.  First an intern or aprn sees me. Basic screening to prepare my doctor for whats up. Since my doctor gives me a big hug after our visit, I want to prepare her. I am going to ask the intern or aprn to tell my doctor to go take a leak before she sees me.

I am going to squeeze the pi** out of her!!!!! Thank you Dr. Kluger! I'm afraid I'll squeeze her to hard tomorrow. I hope she has been exercising too. I don't want to hurt her. I love that woman! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So,.....keep fighting. Don't give up. Get lucky! It only happens if you expose yourself to it.

I love you guys. Thanks for being my friends. We fight as a team.

FLY. Fox loves you.

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 914
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi FlY. Fox,

Thank you for posting your information, it is inspiring. I would like to have you fighting in my corner any day. I am just recovering from a partial nephrectomy, this is the 2nd time around for me. I consider myself very fortunate that once again it has been caught in time.

I intend to take better care of my health this time, good health is so easily taken for granted.

Keep up the fight fox warrior.

Best wishes,

 

Djinnie

 

dhs1963's picture
dhs1963
Posts: 394
Joined: May 2012

Sending good vibes your way.  Reading how y'all are still fighting gives me hope.  Next week, with a little luck, scans will not see anything (for me).  If they do, I will deal with it.

 

Mikeyswife
Posts: 31
Joined: Mar 2013

Thanks for your post. It was badly needed today.  I have cried much of today.  Tomorrow my husband goes for his first after surgery scans and consult with his Cleveland Clinic oncologist.  I am scared.  We have no idea what he will suggest and hopefully there are still no mets.  I know his prognosis is not great with lymph node involvement and 30% sarcomatoid but I am praying for NO METS and NED. 

Praying all goes well for you tomorrow Fox!

Scottie22
Posts: 26
Joined: Apr 2013

Am in total shock, was very healthy only risk factor my age,66.  Was told less than 5 cm contained in my left kidney.  Radical removal scheduled for early May but right now I just feel wiped out and where I was happy a few days ago and felt in great health I now can't see any way ahead. I came here for encouragement, everything seems so black.

flatlander's picture
flatlander
Posts: 46
Joined: Dec 2011

Thanks for ur encouragement.  I feel its the attitude of fighting that matters a great deal.  I jumped out a second story window today.  Yup no kidding, in interest of full disclosure I did have a rope and a helmet but still I was like seriously...   why am I doing this?  Well I'm doing this because I can.  Today I feel good and if everyone else is jumping out the window in the class so can I.  I'm not dead and how many times in life am I gonna get a chance to do this.  Well It was a major rush.  I did it a couple times.  Glad ur still doing what u can fox.   If the MD says I'm still achey because of an infection or for some worse reason at least I jumped out the window today.

 

Scotty do t worry.  People here seem tobe in different spaces.  Some got it caught early.  Some didn t.  As u may find, cancer sends emotions up and down and its okay to talk even if it ain't pretty.  Best luck they can often get a 5cm out with clean margins and I hope that's ur case

Limelife50's picture
Limelife50
Posts: 420
Joined: Nov 2011

I typed alot of crap only to see it not show up oh well another time i guess ok now i will finish.I guess me being here 1 year and a half no longer makes me a newbie which in a way is a good thing.The original plan for me when i joined CSN back in 11/11 was to get support and also a little more knowledge about this disease then get a few clear scans then kind of dissapear,well things did not quite work out the way i had hoped,i doubt anytime soon there is going to be a simple cure for this and because of this people are going to keep joining up with the rest of us here.Good luck Fox with your next infusion and i hope those pesky rib mets can be dealt with.I originally typed this last last night during my insomnia episodes only to hit submit and see nothing come out so i gave up and tried to go back to sleep.

Eims's picture
Eims
Posts: 423
Joined: Feb 2013

fox...thank you for that...we all need a kick in the ass sometimes and you can send some nasty bikers my way anytime ;-)

eims x

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

thar's a mission I'd volunteer for!

Eims's picture
Eims
Posts: 423
Joined: Feb 2013

well gary did you know that ireland is a great place to bike!!!!  but it has always been a little dream of mine to do route 66 on a harley trike!!!

eims x

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

In fact I was there once nearly 20 years ago when you were a wee lass, beautiful country.  Not a bad place to play golf either and I lost track of the number of pubs we visited.  It was a wonderful trip with some of my favorite memories.  Hope to return one day.

Eims's picture
Eims
Posts: 423
Joined: Feb 2013

yeah that pub thing happens a lot!!  some beautiful golf courses alright and yes you will be back....one visit is never enough 

eims ;-)

 

BDS's picture
BDS
Posts: 106
Joined: Aug 2012

So Fox, how much are you bench pressing these days? How long do you think it will be before you are on the cover of Muscle Magazine? J - BDS

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

I've no idea of the collective weight of every member here, but fox manages to lift us all on an almost daily basis!

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 914
Joined: Apr 2013

Well said Gary, all the best today Fox Warrior.

Best wishes,

Djinnie

Eims's picture
Eims
Posts: 423
Joined: Feb 2013

we would be lost without his positivity and courage.

eims x

Gale_50's picture
Gale_50
Posts: 17
Joined: Apr 2013

Hey Fox, I have printed many of your inspriational posts (others too, bless you all).  I want to add my huge thank you,  almost 3 weeks now from surgery, still hard to self-inspire, but because of your words and amazing attitude I have been up and busy, even made myself look "nice" again! I have taken to heart your advice on not accepting less and less. 

Will see my surgeon in 2 wks, hope all is good news.  Had a 4cm clear cell carcinoma, he thinks they got it all!

So I intend to "suck it up", keep your words handy and live each day the best way possible, like hmmmmm, I don't know YOU???  

Thanks for being the gift you are to all of us!!

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 2065
Joined: Oct 2011

I had a wonderful visit today with my Dr. and the staff at Smilow. It's getting to be like Cheers. Everybody knows my name. 24th infusion of MDX.Amazing. A dose of zometa also and I'm good to go!

Yes I am one of the fortunate ones. I don't post to brag or rub it in the face of the rest of you. I post to provide Hope. Encouragement. Motivation. Maybe some hand holding. The  real lucky ones don't have cancer. Or are NED. I am not out of the woods yet. Probably will never be. But I secretly love hearing people tell me how good I look. (they don't see me when I get up).

Fear doesn't go away. Just don't let it get in the way. Remember we are LIVING with cancer. There must be a forum for people dieing. That must be a barrel of laughs. Can you imagine Gary's friday funnies? Can you giggle over rigor mortis?

Two old drunks are sleeping out beyond a stone wall at the cemetary. The noise of my funeral wakes them up. They peer over the wall and see me being lowered into the ground. Strapped to my shiney Harley. These 2 poor sots who never had a dime between them look at each other with envy. One says to the other, "Wow! being buried on a Harley,man, that's living!" Gary will do better I'm sure.

Keep the faith. Share the Karma. Blow your care providers away with your positivity. Believe me it rubs off.

FLY.

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 914
Joined: Apr 2013

 

Hey Fox,

Glad to hear you had a great day, you remain empowered. Your strength leaps out from your posts, it gives us courage.

Best wishes

 

Djinnie

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 438
Joined: Feb 2009

You go Fox.  Ride like a bat out of H...

Loved your post this afternoon.  We all need to be reminded to keep up the good fight, even me.

My son and I just discussed what I posted earlier about the relative who died of melanoma...and how fragile life can be.  It's great to be here so I can attend gymnastics practice, play tea party with weird beverages the 6 year old created, and rejoice in the arm load of flowers they picked and brought to me.

On a serious note...does your club give prizes for a Harley T from the furthest place.  We don't ride but I need to see what's in the drawer; may still have one from Mazatlan.  We brought one back to an employee after we'd been to Kuwait one time.  He won the prize at that meeting.

Donna

cancerat46's picture
cancerat46
Posts: 35
Joined: Feb 2013

Two months ago I wrote my first post on a day that really had me feeling terrified and alone! (as you may be able to tell from my less than up-beat User name) My one year scan was approaching and I was so scared I could hardly breath that day. Fox, it wasn't even 15 minutes before I had my first encouraging reply and that encouragement came from YOU! I cried as the realization hit me that I wasn't alone and people here really did understand. Since that first post and your ( as well as others) support my life with cancer has become almost normal again. There are days now that I wake up without my first thought being....CANCER? SERIOUSLY? I have days now that I actually forget about it!!! Ok, well, maybe days it only passes through my mind. Knowing there are fighters and WINNERS out there like you that I can talk with makes all the difference!! Thank you from the bottom of my much lightened heart!

GSRon's picture
GSRon
Posts: 1306
Joined: Jan 2013

Hi Fox...  I knew a guy that not only got burried with his bike (BSA Gold Star), but his tombstone is huge... with said bike on it as well..  This guy was a real rider.. I mean he rode his bike all over... met him in Daytona a couple of times... and saw him in Boston...  I never knew he was sick.. but a bunch of us remember him... he rode until he couldn't any more...  one of my heros..!

Stay well.. ride safe..

Cheers.!

Ron - "I don't want a pickle... jus wanna ride my motor sickle...."

cran1's picture
cran1
Posts: 129
Joined: Mar 2013

Thanks for the encouragement Fox!

I am alive
Posts: 229
Joined: Jul 2012

You're the beacon on the hill. Thanks for sharing your light, man. Yay! Yay! Yay!. (that's me jumping up and down, throwing you a high five)

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