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flatlander's picture
flatlander
Posts: 46
Joined: Dec 2011

So I still have aches and pains they think are normal and some prostatitus I'm on antibiotics for a month for.  You just hope they know what they are doing as its been a year since I've been back to work and I'd like to feel normal again one day.  Best guess is the ureter stent they had in for weeks or the 2 months on cathetar have created a likely spot for bacteria to settle from time to time or something.  I'm hopeing that's all it is...

However then my coworkers cancer is back and he has only weeks. So there's noway of not thinking about cancer while at work.  We are trying to plan things for him before and afer he passes. Its not been done in about 60 years in my department.  Then politics gets involved....  if a ladder falls on you during training its a line of duty death.  If we worked 3 miles south then his death would be line of duty death via cancer. How ever here it is legaly work place cancer as a firefighter but no money is in the law to fund it etc...  So its stressfull on many levels especially as someone hopeing his doesn't come back   

We've been on the same chemical spills, fires and medical calls.  He visited me several times during my treatment as he was down the hall seeing his docs.  It just sucks.   Basically cancer sucks    thanks for your time I needed to vent.  Cancer sucks and hits firemen at a hugely disproportionate raate.

 

Well off to a brush fire

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

Keep on coming here flatlander, whenever you need to - you know you're always welcome among your extra brothers and sisters here.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1855
Joined: Oct 2011

Too much of what we live through seems to suck. Just remember, It sucks for most of us. So, We encourage each other and stay motivated. You have alot to share.

garym's picture
garym
Posts: 1651
Joined: Nov 2009

vent, its welcomed here.  My neighbor passed just a few months after we went out and celebrated because we were both cancer free, I know how you feel.  Its good to hear from you though for any reason, and you are right, cancer does SUCK, at least until they invent a better word.

A fellow survivor,

Gary

Eims's picture
Eims
Posts: 409
Joined: Feb 2013

get everything off your chest flatlander....bet out than in.....everyone is here for you.

eims x

flatlander's picture
flatlander
Posts: 46
Joined: Dec 2011

Finished that month of antibiotics and pain came back with vengence in low left back.  Freaks me out as its same pain I had before tumor was removed. Then I read u can have infection even with no bacteria showing in your urine. So maybe I'm not crazy, maybeits not a tumor again maybe just resistant infection.... Nobody knows, so I lay here with heating pad on left flank.  Oh and advil and rumncoke..  1 per week is three per week this week as my coworker is terminal and oh yah a terror suspect in my ole neighborhood and three kids.... two in overnight diapers still.  So the department is making arrangements for work projects at my coworkers and I am still to messed up to even wanna go.  Here I am probably fine but scared because I have a pain that goes away when on antibiotics and returns when they are stopped.  The other poor ***** is dieing and I'm afraid to even go to see him.  I swear to god I'd rather fight a monster than face him,its some survivors guilt thing or something.  Its amazing how this Cancer can screw up so much eeven if u live.  admittedly I was not all there before the cancer scare.  I respect u all for the fights ur faceing and wish u all the best.  I guess its just new territtory to be at a loss for words. I don't know what to say to someone who is passing and u have missed the same bullet. 

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2807
Joined: Nov 2011

Been there, done that, no words suitable; but if you can be there with him, even briefly, do.

flatlander's picture
flatlander
Posts: 46
Joined: Dec 2011

Good news today.  Wife found my back pain is likely a huge muscle knot.  Size of a thumb under the skin.  Probably too much yard work after feeling better from antibiotics.  As for my coworker I still don't know what  to say.  We r having a huge fund raiser so I see him there if not before.  Stay strong everyone.  I had aa lovely pic nic in the warm spring sun today and thought about how many wish they could do same...  my little ones brought stuffed animals and hot chocolate in sippy cups...  good times

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