Mar 26, 2013 - 7:31 pm
I was dx in jan. 2012, then I went to Tulsa, OK to get a 2nd opinion, and my husband wanted to bring his mother (who, prior to my dx, we didn't see eye to eye on too many things, basically, I just wasnt' good enough for her son, we've been married for 28 yrs.)
Anyway, she came, and when my oco. was giving me the grim news of my cancer, and how serious it is.. I explained to the doctor why it took me so long to get my mammogram, long story short, 1st mammagram in 2008, didn't show anything, meanwhile, due to the economy back then, husband and I were laid off, no insurance... later I did find a job in 2010 with ins., but at the time, I had a miserable cough, moved to a new state and town, went to 3 doctors, no one could help me with the cause of this cough, and being I was new to my job, I just couldn't keep taking time off to find a doctor I trusted, to examine me)
but in Nov. 2011, I finally went to get my mammogram, and unfortunatley thats when I found out I had cancer, Feb, 2012, i got a second opinion.
when the doctor left the room for a few mins. My mother in law saw my husband in tears with the news, and she told him, that its my fault, that I didn't get myself checked out sooner.
I just couldn't believe what I was hearing, and here I was, getting the jest of all of this cancer news, and she's saying something as cold as that...
Well, the past several months, I have noticed a change in my husbands attitude towards me, for one, in July, I had to go to Tulsa, Ok, which is 3 hrs. away for 33 rounds of radiation, during this time period, my husband came to visit me one time, other than to drop me off, and pick me up from the hospital.
I realize that money was and still is tight, but, he didn't call much either, and on my last day of raditation, he had to work, so he wasn't there to see me ring my bell. But, I thought at least he'd call, which he did, the next day.
And, last night, before he had to go to work, he jumped out of bed, because our daughter called, (and I guess disturbed his sleep), but he's been sleeping for like 2 days, anyway, after I got off the phone with her, he just basically wishes that we never met.
His father died in 2006, and he is extremely close to his mother, and since his dad passed, I have notice a change in my husband, and now this... I would love to maybe leave, but at the moment I am not working, I am hoping to go back to work in the next 4 wks., and get my ins. started again. But I really don't make much money at my job, prolly not enough to keep me going every month, especially with my medical bills.
But, I guess what I am trying to ask, has anyone else experienced this kind of attitude with their spouses, or is it just our marriage?
I am just thinking that maybe he wants to upset me, hoping that I will just give up my fight, and die...