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beyond scared and needing support please

MB621842
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi everyone- I have never posted anything like this on a board like this, but during my research you have all seemed to be so caring and comforting. My problem started about a year ago- I know that's a long time to go unchecked- but I didn't have the health insurance to do anything about it. I started to notice an abnormal mass under my right breast- nothing moveable and no real pain. It almost felt like a back mouse I had diagnosed several years ago. I asked some friends and family to feel it, but they all brushed it off saying to was probably nothing. As someone who has suffered from several serious and/or chronic illnesses in my life, I still felt I knew my body well enough to believe something wasn't right.

It's been over a year, i think, since i first noticed it in the shower. It has gotten bigger and i now feel pain- which i believe is connected- in my rib cage and directly underneath. I am 28 years old and have no history of cancer in my family (aside from a maternal grandmother who was diagnosed in her 70's with brain cancer). I am extremely terrified of what this could be- I have had so many "statistically unlikely" health problems and have become basically phobic of doctors. On top of that, I became incredibly scared of "getting cancer" even before this issue directly developed. I see so many of you brave women dealing with similar circumstances. Sometimes i think actually going to get diagnosed is the scariest part. I know I have to see a doctor- and now that i have some health insurance I will. I am just beyond terrified and wonder how any of you have dealt with that. I find myself unable to sleep at night and SURE that something is terribly wrong with me and, if it is, I have waited too long. My panic has gotten out of control. Please, any words of wisdom or encourage would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you all!

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2180
Joined: Jun 2010

There are many programs that will pay for your mammogram.  I suggest you go to your nearest center to have one ASAP.

Your mind can make things worse than any reality can.  Pick up the phone and dial NOW.  They will take it from there and help you more than any words we can provide.

 

Doris

desertgirl947's picture
desertgirl947
Posts: 439
Joined: Oct 2012

I agree.  Although I now have a job with excellent insurance, there was a time when I didn't.  Our town's local clinic gave me an info card of an organization I could call that would at least cover the types of exams/tests that women typically ought to do annually.  If the exam showed a possible problem that needed testing to just see what was there, the organization paid for it.  If a problem was confirmed, it would take care of that as well.

As it turned out, during that time I needed no more than the usual exams/tests.  That was covered.  The group stayed in touch with me about the time I would be going again, ready to cover the cost again. 

This resource is not a government agency.  Yes, what is available at no cost depends on family income. 

There must be someplace you can call.

When I thought I had a problem (late 2011), I wanted to put things off until the spring.  My conscience would not let me; it probably was good I went in late November rather than late April.  There WAS a problem.

So, as others before me here have said -- GO!!!

telecomjd
Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 2013

Do not wait.  Go now.  I am 35 and diagnosed 5 months ago.  I was not supposed to get cancer, and I was told by EVERYONE that it was nothing.  But, it was cancer.  

I received treatment, my prognosis is great, and I have a bright future ahead of me.  

You will only feel better when you know what it is or isn't.  Relieve your mind by getting yourself checked immediately.  Hell, go to an Urgent Care if you need to -- the primary care doctor there can write you a prescription for a mammogram or ultrasound.

Tell us what you find out.  But, please do not wait to be seen.  I don't mean to scare you, but I do want to see you take care of yourself now, especially as you say you currently have insurance.

M

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

The first thing you do is get a mammogram and get it now.  Do not wait!  Did you get one scheduled yet? 

Hugs, Rose

New Hope's picture
New Hope
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 2013

Have a mamagram .It better to find out early If it is cancer. It may be something else only tests can till you what to do.I am hoping for the best for you. Don't put it off any longer .If It had not been for test I would not of know any thing was wrong. And It would of got out of controll .But because of test I was able to get the treatment needed. Some of what I feared was wasted energy.

littleangel65
Posts: 46
Joined: Jan 2013

hi, I was actually in the same situation as you, I had a discharge coming out of my right nipple.

Like you, no one in my family had cancer, so I thought it was more than likely hormones.

My husband was going to be laid off from his job in like a week, at that time, back in 2008, so I went to my doctor to have a mammogram done, at the time, nothing showed up, but my doctor told me to keep an eye on it.  Ok, what else was I supposed to do?  So, for like 2 yrs. this went on, finally I got a job with ins. and I went to a doctor in a new town that we moved to, and in Jan. of 2012, I was dx with breast cancer, from there I went to Cancer Treament Centers of America to get a 2nd opinion, and, my oco. told me at that time, that I was lucky to be still alive, bc of the type of cancer I have, it is usually very aggressive, and thank God it hadn't spread, at least not at that time, which was in Feb. of 2012.

However, I was at stage 3, because it had spread to 4 of my lymph nodes.

So, please, please, don't put this off, I don't mean to scare you, but, if it is something, its best to get it looked at and treated ASAP, on the lighter side of breast cancer, there has been so many improvements on the treatment for breast cancer over the years, and I personally have met so many women who are surviors now for like 10, 15, 20 or more yrs. that there is no reason why you couldn't be one of them, and be able to give someone else later on hope.

My doctor told me, that with the kind of breast cancer I have, only a little more than a decade ago, there was nothing he would have been able to do for me, but thanks to all of the dedicated medical scientists and doctors, now I have hope, thanks to the discovery of Herceptin, which is the type of infusion I am currently undergoing. 

I know this cancer thing is scarey, but, you need a positive attitude, and tell yourself and your body to fight this, the stress you are putting yourself under right now, because you are scared, is not good for your immune system.

If you have a good medical team, you will have all the tools you need to fight it, if it turns out to be cancer, and if you get yourself checked out, and if it turns out to be nothing, look at all the worrying you will save yourself. 

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

littleangel65

 

LoveBabyJesus's picture
LoveBabyJesus
Posts: 1654
Joined: Jan 2011

Hi -- I am so sorry you are so scared. We understand perfectly. I was dx at 32. I got surgery, harvested eggs, took chemo, radiation and currently taking tamoxifen for 5-10 years. I am feeling great and blessed!

I do have history of breast and ovarian cancers in my family but that doesn't matter because less than 15% of breast cancers are due to family history or hereditary; 85% of breast cancers are caused by other causes, including mutations scientists have not been able to identify. Also, statistics show that one out of every 8 women will be dx with breast cancer at some point in their lives. This means, every individual is different. A woman cannot diagnose herself and should seek medical advice As soon as she sees/feels something has changed on her body.  PLEASE CHECK ASAP - the sooner you catch this (IF it is cancer, you don't know yet), the better. I cannot tell you not to be scared, but I can guarantee that whatever happens you will discover an amazing inner strength that you thought you never had! I can also tell you that you will NOT be alone. We are here for you, always. You will be very scared but it is best to know now than to ignore it. If it is cancer, please know it is NOT a life sentence. Please know you have a place to come to (here) for support, prayers, love and care. There are treatments and they aren't as bad as they used to be. But let's not talk about this as what you are feeling may be nothing! I will pray.

 

Please let us know when you see a Dr. Please, keep us posted. We care.

 

HUGS! Stay strong, breautiful and positive!

MB621842
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2013

I am not sure if this response will be viewable to everyone who commented on my original post, but hopefully it is! I went to a primary care physician last week and had his check it out. He seemed concerned and referred me for a breast ultrasound, telling me not to wait. He said that at my age a mammogram would be basically "useless" and he wanted to send me to a radiologist.

So, I made the appointment as soon as I got home and got their first available opening- which was yesterday afternoon. I went in and had a ultrasound tech and radiologolist perform an ultrasound on my breast. They both said that they were unable to detect anything abnormal or alarming. They acknowledged that there was a firm mass along my rib cage under my right breast (which was not present on the left side), but they assured me that it is fibrous tissue. I explained that it had been there for about a year and, just within the last few months had begun to grow in size and cause pain. They continues to assure me that it was nothing to be concerned about. I explained that I WAS concerned because I am now in pain on a regular basis and want to make sure it doesn't continue to grow. I asked about possible procedures to be done to remove it and the radiologist didn't see the point in having surgery that wasn't medically necessary.

Luckily, though, by the time I got home the results of my ultrasound were already sent to my PCP. He had already decided that since I am having pain, I should speak with a surgeon for a follow-up opinion. He had the name of someone ready and I am in the process of setting up an appointment.

I am so grateful for all the support I received on this message board- so many brave, compassionate women can truly provide a sense of encouragement to someone scared and feeling alone. I am soo blessed and thankful that they have assured that I do not have cancer, but I also do not believe my journey is over. I will continue to follow up with doctors until I find a resolution that I am comfortable with. I would still like more answers. Bless you all and thank you for your incredible kindness. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!!

Kristin N's picture
Kristin N
Posts: 1969
Joined: Mar 2009

opingLet us know when your appointment with your surgeon is and did your doctor consider ordering a MRI for you?  That might show up more and from what I know of them, I think a MRI would light up any spots that might be cancer.  Stay on top of this and don't take no for an answer.  You need to feel secure and safe.

Good luck,

Kristin

MB621842
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2013

Thanks!! My appointment with the surgeon is next Thrusday. I am taking my radiology results with me so hopefully she will be able to answer some questions for me. I'll keep you posted!!

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

Good luck Thursday!  I hope you get your questions answered and feel better about everything.

Jan

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

Hi doll,

First of all, it's OKAY to be scared.  But yes, get in right away.  I missed my mammo last year because they have always been clean.  I start chemo on April 8th after I had a modified radical mastectomy...no cancer in my family at all.  Hon, you did the right thing by taking the first step and joining this support group.  The women here are nothing short of AMAZING!!!

If you need someone to "hold your hand" to get you to the doctor, I'm sure somebody in your area will be available just let us know where you are and how we can help.

Thinking of you and sending a giant hug!

Susan

msemorris
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2013

Don't be scared. Have it checked out immediately. I had a lump in my breast, told my sister, and she made me go to doctor. Doctor said probably nothing, but sent me to surgeon. Surgeon said probably nothing, but did a biopsy. After two rounds of testing, because doc thought test was wrong, i was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had double mastectomy and lymph nodes removed. Did four rounds of chemo with no side effects except hair loss, which is temporary. That was three years ago and so far scans are clear. Praying for you.

cwells2829
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2013

As stated in some of the previous posts, there are plenty of places/groups that can assist you in getting your mammogram done. Please do it ASAP.  Not knowing is far scarier. If it is cancer then you can at least make a plan, deal with it, beat it, and move on with your life.

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

Sending good luck, hope and prayers for you today! 

Sue :)

cwells2829
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2013

As stated in some of the previous posts, there are plenty of places/groups that can assist you in getting your mammogram done. Please do it ASAP.  Not knowing is far scarier. If it is cancer then you can at least make a plan, deal with it, beat it, and move on with your life.

LaurieC's picture
LaurieC
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 2012

I agree with everyone, and with the last poster who said not knowing is worse and more worrisome than knowing.

When I was diagnosed and staged, etc. even when I got information I didn't necessarily want to hear, in a way I felt better knowing what was going on and what the plan was.  Once I had a treatment plan in place, I felt a lot better.

{Hugs} and hoping it all turns out well for you. 

Kristin N's picture
Kristin N
Posts: 1969
Joined: Mar 2009

Checking for an update.  Hoping you will post some news..

airdrie
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2013

I think your age is one reason you are hesitating. BUT damn it GO.  I asked my doctors what do patients do that have no insurance, they all told me that they always find a way to treat. 

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

What happened with your appointment? 

Hugs, Rose

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

Hugs and prayers!

LoveBabyJesus's picture
LoveBabyJesus
Posts: 1654
Joined: Jan 2011

I stopped by to see if there are any new developments. Please keep us posted. Sneding hugs and prayers your way! XOXO

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

Looking for an update too.  Hugs and good thoughts!

JJDS
Posts: 259
Joined: Apr 2013

Thinking of you and hoping you are ok.

 

Victorious
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2013

Please give us an update, there are many who read and never post and somone may have the same problem and need to know how you are doing!!!  I agree that a MRI is more conclusive AND I also hope you have a biopsy to completely rest your mind with.   Just dont leave us hanging! We really care as you have a lot of life ahead of you to have with joy.

Victorious

Oh, breast survivor since diagnosed in 09, and still using the oral form of chemo. Regular chemo and radiation courses finished in 09 as well.

 

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