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Starting 16 rounds of AC-T chemo. Scared and depressed. :(

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

Finally met with my onc Wednesday and she prescribed Adriamycin/Cytoxan for 4 weeks, then taxol for another 12 weeks.  16 treatments.  Not what I expected.  I didn't get out of bed yesterday I was so upset.  I live alone, it's alot to digest.  Needing some hugs.

jamiegww's picture
jamiegww
Posts: 384
Joined: Dec 2009

I think most of us who received chemo would agree that we had difficulty accepting that we needed it at first.  I think the whole process of finding out that you have cancer and what you have to do to deal with it seems impossible at first but we all got through it and that's why I feel confident that you too can get through it.  For me, I had to stop thinking too far ahead and just take it one day at a time.  Discover what works for you and go with it.  This is a very emotional journey but you are not alone.  We are always here to give you encouragement and all the "virtual hugs" you need to get you through this battle.

HUGS!!!

Jamie

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Christmas Girl
Posts: 3654
Joined: Apr 2009

Chemo IS scary, for sure. Totally agree. It wasn't 'expected' (by my onc med pros) for me, either. And even though it's now almost 10 years later - I clearly remember the shock. Yes, it's a lot - an awful lot - to digest.

I hope knowing that so very many of us here (including me) made our ways through it will alleviate at least some of your fears. It's not easy; but, it is doable. Your onc team will prepare you for what to expect, explain potential side effects, and how to manage them. Don't ever hesitate to ask questions.

Sending cyberhugs, and my very best wishes...

Kind regards, Susan

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Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

Sending you the biggest hugs in the whole world!

Sue :) 

Mikilog
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi ssue I am also starting my chemo treatments this coming weds: adriamycin/cytoxan for 4 wakes then taxol for 16 wks to make a total of 20 wks. Yes I am scared silly but we will make it!

miki

Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3604
Joined: May 2009

You've got more hugs and prayers from me!

 

kdawg
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi Miki

Checking in to see how you are doing. I went through the same chemo June thru November 2012. You will make it through. Stay strong.

Kathy

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

Checking on you too.  I am always looking for any update from you.

Hugs, Debby

jessiesmom1's picture
jessiesmom1
Posts: 717
Joined: Jun 2010

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec. 2009. I had a right mastectomy in Feb. 2010 and then had a port put in. I began chemo in March 2010. I had 4 rounds of A/C spaced 2 weeks apart and then had 12 weekly rounds of Taxotere. My last round was in August 2010 and I have been dancing with NE(A)D since then. You said the treatment protocol was not what you expected but you didn't say what you did expect or why. I personally did not have any particular treatment expectations - just knew chemo was on t he menu in some form. I did not have radiation.

A cancer diagnosis throws your entire world into a tizzy, doesn't it? One day you have a bump in your underarm/breast and the next day you are thrown into this whirlwind of jargon, tests, procedures, surgeries, etc. that seem to threaten your life. It is a lot to deal with and no one can fault you for being upset or depressed. There are support groups in  many locations for the newly diagnosed as well as seasoned survivors. Maybe it would help you to talk in person to people who are in your same situation. Of course, this board is also a source of information and support but sometimes you need to speak to a real live person.

I can give you a lot of information on my experience with the A/C and T  side effects but it may be too soon for that. Everyone's experience will be different. I think you need to come to terms with the fact that chemo is going to be part of  your life for a while before we get down to brass tacks - so to speak. You may want to start investigating whether you have any friends or family who can stay with you during chemo treatment - at least part of the time. It would have been difficult to go through this alone. My husband was supportive as was my 17 year old daughter. Not exactly the way she wanted to spend her senior year of high school but we made it.

Of course I am sending you virtual hugs. Please post often and let us know if there is anything we can do.

IRENE

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

Irene, it's not too early to hear about the side effects.  I want and need to prepare myself now.  Please...your feedback is welcome.  xoxoxoox

Josie21
Posts: 358
Joined: Nov 2012

Hi Susan,

i have been reading your blog daily.  You are an amazing person and I know that you can do this.  You have every right to be upset! Cancer sucks, but from reading your blog you are a fighter.  You will kick cancer's butt.  I am sending you many, many hugs tonight, but then I want you to get ready for this fight.  We are all here for you.  You can and will do this.  

Hugs, hugs and more hugs,

Ginny

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

I am so sorry.  Sending lots of hugs and prayers for you!

Hugs, Diane

desertgirl947's picture
desertgirl947
Posts: 447
Joined: Oct 2012

A year ago this week I was told that I needed to consider chemo and radiation therapy, based on the results of my pathology reports.  My oncologist laid out the stats to show why this was what he was recommending.

I really was hoping to avoid chemo, and so it took me a bit to settle and accept this.  Oddly, the day I was told this -- and that I would need to get a port -- was the day that in the afternoon I had a follow up appointment with my initial surgeon.  By the time I had that appointment, my oncologist's office had called his office to let them know the plan.  So, that afternoon I was shown what the port looked like and how it would be put in and how it would function.  That was Monday.  Friday morning my port was put in.

I had the same number of infusions of AC as you will have; I had fewer of T.

I made it through.  My friends and colleagues tell me that if they did not know what I had been through last year, they would have no idea to see me today.

Keep a positive mindset.  Hang in there.  Plenty of people here can share with you things that will help and encourage you.  Just remember that two people can have the same diagnosis and treatment plan and their reactions and responses be different.  We here can give you ideas of what you could expect, and you will find that some things we have in common; other things we don't.

e

Kristin N's picture
Kristin N
Posts: 1969
Joined: Mar 2009

I know you can see all the love and support you've got by just seeing the posts.  You will never be alone, you've got us! 

treecy1106's picture
treecy1106
Posts: 147
Joined: Apr 2011

Boy do I know how you are feeling. I was alone as well. I was in the middle of a divorce at the time of my diagnosis. I had only sold my house and moved 3 months before. Everything hit me all at once and I remember not moving out of my bed. The fear about everything from diagnosis, port, surgery, reconstruction, chemo and the hair loss. 

No one could get through to me!!!!!! I want my words to penetrate into your head so try and hear me loud and clear.."YOU WILL BE FINE!" "YOU WILL HANDLE ALL OF IT!" "YOU WILL LOVE LIFE MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" "YOU WILL LOOK BETTER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER DID BEFORE!" 

My "Cancer" showed me the way to a much better life! I am stronger, wiser, happier and healthier than I have ever been before. 

After my 2nd chemo treatment I lost my hair and that was very traumatic for me because my hair was down my back. It was part of my identity but guess what....I bought wigs...in different colors and started to have fun with it.

Look around yourself.....there are millions of women just like you fighting this crummy disease but they will beat it and so will you and then you will help someone else by supporting them when this trip is behind you!!!!

Have faith and God will help you! That was my way of puling through. I also had  A/C/T but I had dose dense (my choice). Ask your Dr. if that is an option for you. It will get you done sooner. I had 4 treatments of A/C every other week and 4 treatments of Taxol every other week. Then I became certified in Health as a Health Coach, changed my diet and wrote a booklet.

I will tell you again....YOU WILL BE FINE!!!! START HELPNG YOUR BODY GET STRONG TO HELP THE CHEMO DO ITS JOB! Concentrate on that!!!

Much Love and hugs...

Patrice

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

Lots of hugs!

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4010
Joined: Oct 2009

Sending big cyber hugs your way!  I am praying you make it through easier than you expect.  Regardless, we are here for you!

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

Prayers and hugs all coming!  Keep us updated on how you are.  We care!

Hugs, Angie

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I spent the last 3 days in bed trying not to be overcome but I suppose it was inevitable.  Getting through the diagnosis and surgery was a breeze, I guess being told I needed 16 rounds of chemo was my "reality check" and everything kind of hit me all at once.  I went out walking today and did NOT spend the day in bed, so that's a good sign...I know I will be good.  I'm glad Ginny, you have been reading my blog and thank you for telling me that.  It helps me a great deal to be able to get this stuff out without being judged. Tomorrow I have my cat scan, blood work and echocardiogram (sp?), port will be in by the end of the week and April 8th is 1st chemo treatment.  

So for the next 1.5 weeks I will take care of me, eat some darn big steaks, drink some killer pinot noir and work out while I still have the energy.

Thank you, all of you, for your continuous support, wisdom and prayers.

I love you, deeply.

Susan

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

Good luck tomorrow with your tests Susan.  I am praying for you!

Hugs, Rose

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

You're never alone as we are always with you, helping however we can.  Adding my cyber hugs to you!

Jan

jnl's picture
jnl
Posts: 3873
Joined: May 2009

Just so you know that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs and always praying for you.

Leeza

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

My dearest new friends...thank you for your support and cyber hugs.  I needed them.

xoxoxooxxo

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

We have unlimited hugs for you!  I know this is tough for you, so, keep posting to us and I hope in some way we can help you get thru this.

Hugs, Diane

Sun Whitey
Posts: 36
Joined: Jan 2013

Thank you my friends.....thank you for everything.

Your comforting words mean the world right now!!

Getting my port put in today...will be a sleepy day!

xoxxoxo

Susan

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

How did today go for you Susan, getting your port?  Let me just say again what the other pink sisters have written, and, that is you are not alone.  We're here :)

Hugs, Noel

treecy1106's picture
treecy1106
Posts: 147
Joined: Apr 2011

Just checking in on you!!!! (((HUGS))) and prayers coming your way.....nefore you know it...chemo will be a distant memory and you will be stronger than ever and helping others too!!!! xoxoox

 

 

 

Patrice

June Bugs
Posts: 169
Joined: May 2013

I feel so bad for you and am sending you hugs too and hoping that your chemo is about done for you.

LoveBabyJesus's picture
LoveBabyJesus
Posts: 1654
Joined: Jan 2011

Well you may live alone but you are not alone! We are here for you. I think you will do great! Time will fly so fast you won't even notice.

Remember to ask questions about side effects, how to avoid them, how to stay healthy during chemo, etc. There are a lot of useful posts here you can use as reference.  It is normal to feel upset. No one deserves this. (Not even my worst enemy.) As time goes by you will feel more in control with a solid plan and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will be praying for you so you heal well and everything goes smoothly with NO complications. Remember you can count on all of us!

Hugs!

Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3604
Joined: May 2009

You've got more hugs coming from me!   How are you doing?  Post any update when you can for us.

Hugs, Lex

Josie21
Posts: 358
Joined: Nov 2012

Hi Susan,

I just wanted to say Hi and let you know you are in my thoughts.  Keep going with your blog, it's amazing.  You are so honest and I think it's therapeutic for you and it will be for others one day as well.  

Hugs coming your way,

Ginny

Jessies miracle
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2013

Hi Susan!

I just saw your post and your story.  I want to encourage you to take one day at a time, I did the same treatment plan - port placed then 4rounds AC, then 12 rounds taxol.  I just finished my last taxol 2 weeks ago today and I am scheduled for a double mastectomy with no reconstruction 2 weeks from today. 

Through the journey I found taking one treatment at a time was easiest.  If you look ahead its overwhelming at points, but honestly once in the taxol treatments it flew by.  The treatment itself was scary just not knowing what to expect but I prayed a LOT and I got peace through it all that it would be ok.  A friend of mine I found through cancer had the same treatment and she just flew through the whole thing without being very sick at all.  There's just such a broad spectrum depending on the person.  You sound very strong and determined though so I am sure you will do great!

I am praying for you today that you can find that peace and strength.  If you have any questions dont hesitate to ask!

Jessie

kmenurse's picture
kmenurse
Posts: 223
Joined: Apr 2013

I can't do much in the way of advice other then a positive attitude is a must.... For my journey too, is just beganing.... Lots of HUGS AND PRAYERS!!! coming your way... Kathy

VickiSam's picture
VickiSam
Posts: 8314
Joined: Aug 2009

Just checking in with you, dear Sister in PINK. 

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

survivorbc09
Posts: 4378
Joined: Jun 2009

Susan, how did your first chemo treatment go?  Thinking of you and sending lots of prayers and hugs.

 

Jan

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

Checking in also to see how you are doing.  Lots of positive thoughts and prayers!

Hugs, Noel

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Wondering how you're doing with your chemo treatments.  Praying and hoping for you and wish you'd post an update for us.

 

Kylez's picture
Kylez
Posts: 3765
Joined: May 2009

I hope you're ready for more hugs and prayers Susan as they are coming to you from me today and for as long as you need them. 

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  I might have missed it on here, but, where is your blog? 

 

Hugs, Rose

Megan M's picture
Megan M
Posts: 3001
Joined: Dec 2009

Sending big smiles, lots of hugs and hoping that if you've started chemo, that you have no side effects.

 

Pink Rose
Posts: 495
Joined: Nov 2012

How is chemo going?  You ok?

Hugs, Rose

Ritzy's picture
Ritzy
Posts: 4384
Joined: Aug 2009

Starting to worry...  I hope you feel good enough to post something for us this week.

Sue :(

Angie2U's picture
Angie2U
Posts: 2993
Joined: Sep 2009

Thinking of you also and sending many cyber hugs!

Hugs, Angie

Leahtownsend22's picture
Leahtownsend22
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2013

   Hello I just joined and read your story... chemo is very scary, I was diagnosed in 09 with stage 4... liver mets, took a year of chemo every week, it was very hard and I too went into a deep depression, but I made it through. I know its easier said then done but you have to be positive, have faith , and take one day at a time.  Do not wait around for the storm to be over...learn how to dance in the rain.  We are sisters in this fight  but we will win!

Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3604
Joined: May 2009

Big Hugs!

DianeBC's picture
DianeBC
Posts: 3888
Joined: Jun 2009

Worrying and thinking of you..  I keep hoping that you will come back on to let us know how you are.

Hugs, Diane

Noel's picture
Noel
Posts: 3101
Joined: Apr 2009

Thinking of you too and praying that you are doing well.

 

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