Mar 21, 2013 - 9:07 am
Good morning all,
I'll start my story 4 yrs ago when my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 SCC, tonsal and 1 lymphnode. He went through 4 rounds of Cisplatin, and 39 radiations tx's. No surgery. He did great, pushed through every tx, still working. Missed 3 days total. 5 months after his last tx, a chest CT showed a spot on his liver. Doc said no worries, it's normal. Next scan, spot is gone...next scan it's back. That was the first 2 yrs. Never really explained what the heck that was about!! Each yr lungs were clear. Well last year while on vacation, my husband got alil tipsy and told me about his last dr appt which was 4 months prior to vacation. By this time, he's been going to all follow ups without me, bc we had no worries. He said during the visit they took several chest xrays, couldn't believe what they were seeing, numerous nodules. My husband went on to say the doctor said things don't look good, we need to talk about your options. Options being surgery, which according to my husband would 'severely deform me' then more chemo/rad....or do nothing and live your life the best you can. So he has chosen the latter of the 2 and do nothing, live the last of his days 'happy & healthy'.
Now here we are 8 months later, and I'm seeing changes in him. More phlem, coughing, winter 'cold' lasting over a month, sleepless/restless nights, eatting less, but fatigue is thru the roof!! And recently this wkend pain in his chest. I've tried talking to him several times about just getting checked out. Lets see where it is, maybe he would/could change his mind last minute...nope, nothing, zip...nada. He says he's 'fine', for me to stop worrying. He's getting older, colds take longer to get over. He's 42!! not 82!
We have a child who is leaving for the military in 4 days. I've told our child about the cancer returning, but dad doesn't know I've told her.
can someone please give me advise on how to handle this?? He's in such denial, I see the signs. I lost my mom to cancer 12 yrs ago. Went thru all the steps with him the first time, but I'm the one who's 'worrying for no reason'.
I posted on a direct 'support site' several months ago when I first found out only to be bashed by people who said I was horrible, that I was letting my husband die. I'm not, he's choosing to not fight. He's the love of my life.
thanks for listening.