Mar 18, 2013 - 2:07 pm
My first time with chemo, I didn't loose my hair. I prepared as advisedto do by my chemo nurse. I had a wig, a turban for sleep, shampoo and and a stand for my wig. I cut my hair short as recommended by my hairdresser and then nothing happened. My hair didn't grow but it didn't come out either. For 6 months, it remained like I had always wished, hair that was cut and set and didn't change. Of course, I washed it, didn't dare color it. I had what was common back in 1994 CMF which is Cytoxan, Methotrexate and 5FU. I was offered Taxol which was still in trial at the time. I would have been part of the trial had consented. I wanted the sure thing which turned out not to be the sure thing for me.
People did loose their hair on CMF. I sat with this women at my first treatment and it was her first also. We both were doing CMF and when I came back for my 2nd treatment, she was bald and I wasn't. She didn't take it to well, so they never had us together again.
My hair is very thick every hairdresser has always commented on how thick my hair is. I always said it grows like weeds in the spring. My hair is costly to keep up and so often I resented those who had thin hair and grew slowly. I used to say, becareful what you think because in a wink of an eye, things can change. They have.
I asked my oncologist if I would loose my hair she said, "yes". I said, well, maybe it won't happen. Well, this weekend my hair hurt and I knew, today, the pillow was a mess, the shower was a mess and when I went to comb my hair it was coming out in clumps on my comb. I didn't dry it in fear it would blow all over the room. It is short. I took out my old wig and lucky there was a hairnet with it so I have that to catch my hair. Shampoo was thrown away and where the rest is is anybody guess.
I've been iniated and now I want those fast growing hair cells to jump in and do their thing. Truly it is an experience I wanted to skip. It was my biggest fear and here it is coming to past. Not much scared me after 18 1/2 years, you are not going to remain in scared mode forever. You learn to adjust and go on. Guess I will but I need a good cry to mourn my lost hair.
I do know of all the silly things to cry over this is one of them. Especially when there is so many other people with serious problems, including myself.