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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

My first time with chemo, I didn't loose my hair.  I prepared as advisedto do by my chemo nurse.  I had a wig, a turban for sleep, shampoo and and a stand for my wig.  I cut my hair short as recommended by my hairdresser and then nothing happened.  My hair didn't grow but it didn't come out either.  For 6 months, it remained like I had always wished, hair that was cut and set and didn't change.  Of course, I washed it, didn't dare color it.   Cool   I had what was common back in 1994 CMF which is Cytoxan, Methotrexate and 5FU.  I was offered Taxol which was still in trial at the time.  I would have been part of the trial had consented.  I wanted the sure thing which turned out not to be the sure thing for me.  

People did loose their hair on CMF.  I sat with this women at my first treatment and it was her first also.  We both were doing CMF and when I came back for my 2nd treatment, she was bald and I wasn't.  She didn't take it to well,   Yell  so they never had us together again. 

My hair is very thick every hairdresser has always commented on how thick my hair is.  I always said it grows like weeds in the spring.  My hair is costly to keep up and so often I resented those who had thin hair and grew slowly.  I used to say, becareful what you think because in a wink of an eye,  Wink things can change.  They have.  

I asked my oncologist if I would loose my hair she said, "yes".  I said, well, maybe it won't happen.  Kiss Well, this weekend my hair hurt and I knew, today, the pillow was a mess, the shower was a mess and when I went to comb my hair it was coming out in clumps on my comb.  I didn't dry it in fear it would blow all over the room.  It is short.  I took out my old wig and lucky there was a hairnet with it so I have that to catch my hair.  Shampoo was thrown away and where the rest is is anybody guess.

I've been iniated and now I want those fast growing hair cells to jump in and do their thing.  Truly it is an experience I wanted to skip.  It was my biggest fear and here it is coming to past.  Not much scared me after 18 1/2 years, you are not going to remain in scared mode forever.  You learn to adjust  and go on.  Guess I will but I need a good cry to mourn my lost hair.  CryCry

I do know of all the silly things to cry over this is one of them.  Embarassed EmbarassedEmbarassed  Especially when there is so many other people with serious problems, including myself.

Doris

 

 

 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

bump up as it was marked not to read "double post" and so I added my tale of woes for today.

BlownAway60's picture
BlownAway60
Posts: 831
Joined: Nov 2009

So sorry that you lost your hair. I still remember how hard it was for me to stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom and just keep pulling my hair out until there was none left. I guess that is why I make hats. "Cause I will never forget that feeling.

Hugs

Donna

 

 

 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

My son drove me to my primary doctor (blizzard) and I wore your beautiful black hat.  My doctor said, "your hat is beautiful don't worry about your hair".   The nurse said the same and the clerk who checked me out.  

I had 3 compliments in an hour and then I went home and slept most of the afternoon and part of the evening.  Your hat did help a lot today.  Thank you and Thank New Flower for sending it to me.  I am for now sleeping in an old kerchief.  I have scarves that I forgot that i had too. 

Affectionally,

Doris

 

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 3874
Joined: Oct 2009

Oh sweetie,  I am so sorry!!!  I hated losing my hair. And I did lose it on CMF back in the day. I wish I could jump through cyberspace and give you a big hug. Mine came out in the shower and I just sobbed. What is it about hair that is so hard? I hate that you are going through this!!!  Hang in there!  Sending big hugs tonight. 

 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

Oh CC,

Your in such a big battle yourself and I wish the same for you.  Hair is just like the breast I guess, we don't want to loose them.  

Best to you on Friday, I'll be there in spirit,

Doris

MsGebby's picture
MsGebby
Posts: 659
Joined: Oct 2011

ROCK bald and your wig!  I've no doubt about that.  I felt your anguish when reading your post.  I wish this experience was like your first.  But really, I wish you never had to experience any of this.  

Stay strong.  I know you will.  You are a warrior and so positive.  

Sending hugs your way!

xoxo

Mary

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

AND weight. I cried at the loss of mine. It's natural and needed to cry over that. Women take great care of their hair and it's almost as important as your breast. But know it's will grow back just a beautiful and thick as you had it. You'll see.

Hugs.

McMarty's picture
McMarty
Posts: 188
Joined: Nov 2012

I started Taxol a few weeks before you so I'm all bald headed too.  It just never gets easier does it?

Still I do love not having to shave my legs or chase those witch hairs off my chin every day!

 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

There are silver linings in every cloud, thank you.  This is a perk we forget about.

It doesn't get easier but I did have my "pity party" so I am ok.  Adjusting, adjusting we do learn as humans to adjust to all those things we wish we never even had to hear much experience.

Thank you, it made me laugh,

Doris

lintx's picture
lintx
Posts: 456
Joined: Sep 2012

 

 

I'm sorry about the loss of your hair but glad to see you posting and sharing w/us.  Thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers.  Hugs, Linda

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

It brought up memories as I was reading your post. I just finished chemo and on my first week of rads right now. I still cry every now and then when I look at myself. My hair was always my crowning glory, it was thick, very long and jet black.like yours, I spent a lot of money taking care of it and it grew so fast with a natural wave. I am still waiting for it to grow and praying it will grow fast. I am starting to accept that it will take time and its a little bit better now. I just keep telling myself, this too will passed like chemo, like the side effects and looking forward to life after this.

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you Eleanor and I have heard that it can come back even better than before.  Your hair does sound like mine and I always thought it to be my best feature.  

I wish you an easy time with radidation.  I worked throughout rads and only had a few days that were difficult mainly because it was a weekend.  Had it been a weekday, I would have had the right stuff to put on the burns.  Mine were for my regional tumor in the axilla.  Radiation to the neck  is where the burns occurred.  The oncologist I had back then, forgot to order radiation for me that is why I never had it in the breast area.

Look ahead seem endless, looking back it went quick.

Best to you,

Doris 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

I am to tired to reply individually but I appreciate your comment.

I was born with a head of hair, my mother (88 yrs old) said even the nurses remarked on how much hair you had and tied a pink ribbon in it.

So this is really my first experience and I'll get through it after all, I'm not the only one.

 

Thanks you all,

 

Doris

Josie21
Posts: 337
Joined: Nov 2012

Hi Doris,

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I hate this disease!!!!  It takes so much away.

Hugs,

Ginny

missrenee's picture
missrenee
Posts: 2137
Joined: Apr 2010

but as you said, you will get through it because you are one tough cookie.  Losing my hair didn't bother me so much--I found some beautiful scarves that I loved wearing more than the wigs.  Also, it was so easy to get ready in the mornings--no hair to have to style, no underarm hair to shave, no leg hair to shave and the coolest Brazilian bikini wax ever without the pain of having it waxed!

Embrace the new you--I'll bet you look like a real foxy lady!

Hugs, Renee

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you, Renee.

A friend wrote to me yesterday saying that I will be a sexy lady with my new looks.  All I could think of is Yul Brynner and Kojak and I never thought they were sexy but they were loved by millions.  

I did order a turban for bed as I have sleep apnea and have head gear to put on.  When I had a significant other, he never minded my devise.  I used to say to him, "don't you feel weird sleeping with a woman who has a tube and plastic mask on her face" He would reply,  "no, doesn't bother me, glad you can breathe".   I guess it is in the mind of the person.

 

I'm adjusting and the cost of upkeep will certainly be a perk along with not shaving which I always hated.

 

Merci, Madame.  How is the French coming along?

 

Doris

telecomjd
Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 2013

I am so sorry that you lost your hair.  It is a wrenching experience, and no matter how prepared you are for it, it still hurts.

I am less than two weeks out of chemo, and my hair is already starting to grow back.  I see little glints of light when I look in the mirror, and it is tremendously exciting to me.  So, there's hope on the other side of this, and -- at least for me -- I have not had to wait long to see a teeny bit of progress.  I hope that ends up being the same for you.

M

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2116
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi M,

I hope for you it grows in fast and better than the original.  Hard enough to do chemo but I wish they could fix it that we didn't loose our hair with it.  As SeeGlass stated it is almost as bad as loosing a breast.  They can't see my missing breast but they can see my bald head.  

Should have prepared in the same manner as I did last time.  When there is a storm brewing, I prepare and it's my insurance of not having to use it.  I fill jugs with water and etc.  This time, I said, "wait, you might not need it".  Thank goodness for Donna's hat.  It would have been awful to go out in a blizzard as I had a doctor's appointment yesterday in a scarf.  I did find some beautiful ones that were given to me from last time and I never used them.  A silk one from Thailand sat in my drawer the one that I never open as it holds things to good to throw out but never used and a lovely one from India.  

We are never prepared and even if I had, I think this time it was a given.  My oncologist knew I would see it but didn't want to argue the obvious with me when I said, last time I didn't.  

Best wishes to you,

Doris

 

MsGebby's picture
MsGebby
Posts: 659
Joined: Oct 2011

I am going to supply you with tons of Tootsie Pops!  You are going to be OK.  It's how you are.  Strong and fiesty.  

SO where do I send the pops?

Tongue Out

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