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fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi. I am new here. My mom was just recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. She had 14 out of 15 lymph nodes that came out positive. Distant metastasis was on omentum but nothing on liver. I have been sooooooo sad lately. I cry every single day because I fear to lose my mom. She is turning 67 this April and I still want to have lots of memories of her. I am getting married this year and everything just fell apart hearing her diagnosis. I join this forum so I could talk to people who has the same situation as my mom.

janderson1964's picture
janderson1964
Posts: 1828
Joined: Oct 2011

Sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like she might be operable if there is just one metastasis which is good. I have been stage IV for 7 1/2 years and am still going strong. It is devasting news for you and your mom but I think there is a lot to be optimistic about.

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

Thank you Janderson. I am praying for miracle. I love my mother so much and I just can't seem to accept it. I have been praying everyday that everything will be better for her. I know it is not cureable but I just want her to live longer. They also found a mass on her left breast and came out positive for breast cancer. The doctor will start her on Tamoxifen for her left breast and Xeloda for the colon.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4342
Joined: Jun 2009

Welcome!

It's understandable why you feel this way.  Nobody ever really sees it coming...and the negative connotations that the word Cancer brings to the table is enough to concern us all.

She does have a big fight coming...I'm not going to lie to you.  But now that you know what you're up against, you can get started.  The doctors will be putting together a plan of attack.  If you could report some of that back here, we can try and help you through the process. 

Don't count out the wedding....not by a long shot.  You can believe me when I tell you that we don't die overnight.  Getting her into treatment will help and many folks have thought they would not make their children's weddings or graduations etc....only to be there with them.

Anything is possible...after you guys shake off the shock, then you can get the gameface on and dig in...

After all...looks like all of us here have  your wedding to go to now:)

Mom will be there for it...so many stage 4's and metastatic stage 4's here.....

You just met Jeff...he's over 7 yrs. now...and I'm just about to make my 9th year in June.

And both of us have had multiple recurrences and currently find ourselves in a clear remissive state.

You'll find the support that you need right here...there are so many fine folks to talk with.

Best wishes and absolute best of luck!

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

THank you Sundance. I am starting to get overwhelmed with appointments. Mom will have her port inserted this Monday. Tuesday she'll have a mammogram. Wednesday she'll have 2 appointments, one with the medical oncologist, and with the breast surgeon. I hope my mom will have all the energy to fight the chemo side effects. If only I could take those, I will do it for her. Any suggestions on what food she should be eating and what foods to avoid?

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

THank you Sundance. I am starting to get overwhelmed with appointments. Mom will have her port inserted this Monday. Tuesday she'll have a mammogram. Wednesday she'll have 2 appointments, one with the medical oncologist, and with the breast surgeon. I hope my mom will have all the energy to fight the chemo side effects. If only I could take those, I will do it for her. Any suggestions on what food she should be eating and what foods to avoid?

AnnLouise's picture
AnnLouise
Posts: 276
Joined: Mar 2013

Sorry about your mom's diagnosis ......she is very lucky to have you! It is so overwhelming at the beginning, and you have to deal with one thing at a time. I was diagnosed in Nov. 2011 and as a mom I just wanted to tell you that my son getting married in10 months gave me extra reason to fight so hard and look forward to something positive. I was able to be at the wedding and actually dance with my son. That was after 9 rounds of chemo and a liver resection. Your wedding will be a bright spark in your mom's life! Sending positive thoughts your way....~Ann

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1703
Joined: Jan 2013

Having such a loving and caring daughter is going to make a world of difference to your mother. Treatments, surgeries, appointments are fine, but love is a real life saver. 

I am happy to hear that she is having a port. I hated mine as my body was getting used to it, but now that I'm into my chemo treatments, it is a real godsend. 

One thing that really helped/helps me with all the appointments is to have a notebook, list anything and everything you want to ask your Doctors, no matter how small or silly they may sound (I asked my gastroenterologist if using talcum poweder led to my colon cancer. I'm sure he wanted to laugh, but he didn't).

Also list any and every thing you mum is going through, again, no matter how big or small. 

My Doctors know that a visit with me is not going to be a 'How are you today? Have a good day"  I have my lists every visit. 

God bless you for being a wonderful, caring daighter. And be sure and look forward to your wedding. I bet your mum will be there, as happy as a clam. 

Come here often. We love, we support, we are full of great advice and info. We care about both cancer patient and caregiver. 

HUGS!

Deena11
Posts: 193
Joined: Nov 2012

Welcome to the forum.  I so feel for you.  My Mom is my best friend and I'd want to help her any way I can.  When I found out I had cancer, I withheld the information for a couple of weeks from my parents.  They live in another state and I knew my Mom would want to be here while I went through this.  She has health issues and can't travel (a pituitary tumor was removed years ago and it made her fully blind in one of her eyes and partially blind in the other one.  She also injects herself with Human Growth Hormones every day because they took out her pituitary gland).  When I told her, she was devistated.

While I was in treatment for 9 months, we were unable to see each other (I couldn't travel nor could she).  It was almost unbearable to talk with her on the phone because she felt so helpless and I think she felt useless.  Rough times.  Please KNOW...having you with your Mom will be so wonderful and healing for her.  She will need a sharp mind like yours when she goes to her appointments.  I went by myself and forgot to ask things.  I think having a notebook (as stated above) with questions or concerns for the Dr. is a great idea.  You will be able to help her process what the doctor is saying.  Once she starts treatment, she may get a foggy brain (chemo brain) and having you there will be reassuring.  She will probably want a lot a hugs too because she may get very emotional at times.

Please return to this forum frequently.  There are some very caring people here that can provide you with great information from experiences.

I am sending you a big virtual hug!!!  Your Mom is a lucky lady to have such a caring daughter.

thxmiker's picture
thxmiker
Posts: 1278
Joined: Oct 2010

Welcome, this is a goood forum for innformation and an emotional outlet.

 

Just cry it out.  Cancer is a life change and emotionally dificult at first.  Second, channell the energy from crying to helping find the answers needed for treatment, diet, appointments, etc...

 

When you have more information, there are many whom will have had similar issues and treatments to give advice on how to cope. We are all afraid of the unknown.  Providing information to each other removes a large part of the unknown, and takes some of the mystery of cancer away.

 

Best Always, mike

PS  Sending our thoughts and Prayers...

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

Thank you so much guys. You have no idea how your words made me feel better. My mom will be starting her chemo in about 2 weeks. Her medical oncologist would want her to heal first from the surgery before starting her chemo. My mom has colon and breast all at the same time. Tamoxifen for her breast and Xeloda for the colon. Any suggestions on how to prep her for the chemo? Any inputs would be greatly appreciated. She is also drinking PI WATER. It is to be believed a "LIVING WATER". I bought the countertop filter as she mentioned that she felt better after drinking it when a friend recommended it to her. Again, thank you so much. I would be praying for each one of you and that the cure for cancer be soon discovered.

AnnLouise's picture
AnnLouise
Posts: 276
Joined: Mar 2013

I am taking xeloda for the second time.....what I find works for me is zofran for nausea 1/2 hour before taking the pills, lomotil 2-4 times a day for bowels if needed, and lotion for hands and feet at least 2times a day for the hand and foot syndrome. I find xeloda very manageable as far as chemos go. Please ask me any questions you have. I don't have any experience with the Tamoxifen. Sending positive thoughts your way.....~Ann

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 1703
Joined: Jan 2013

I know that different meds for different cancer treatments effect each of us differently. I can't say how your mum will respond to chemo day, but for me its no problem at all. I know I have seen patients in the infusion room who do not look good, so this is just my experience. 

Seeing this will be your mum's first time, I am sure all will go well for her.  But, knowing what is going to happen makes the second and subsiquent vists go much easier. 

I would suggest you ask your Doctor for a tube of Lidocain. Rub it on the port area and the access of the port needle shuold go like a breeze. 

I will certainly be thinking and praying for you and your mum over the coming days. 

Bless!

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

your Mom is likley to be with you a good deal longer and share many memories with you.  Your Mom's cancer seems to have been discovered at a stage that she can recieve treatments that would either eradicate or put her cancer in remission to help her live a long life.  She has a good many options ahead of her that, while challenging, can extend her life.  My husband was diagnosed older than your mother with much more extensive disease and he is still here with me three+ years later.  She will see you marry later this year and even be a doting grandmother to your children (if that is your desire).

Your sadness is understandable as it is shocking to have your loved one diagnosed with cancer, no matter what stage.  Sounds like you will be very supportive to her when she begins her treatments and if you continue to come here ... we can be very supportive of you.

Cynthia

 

 

 

 

 

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2440
Joined: Jun 2006

hello and welcome to our forum.....my name is Maggie and I am the 67 year old mother of one daughter.  I am also a stage IV cancer survivor.  I have been fighting and surviving for 7 years now.  When i was diagnosed my daughter was just finishing up her university.....my cancer hit her really hard just as it is you.  No one ever wants to lose their Mom...it is so perfectly understandable that you upset and afraid.  Your mom has a long road ahead of her and I always think that the beginning is hard....everything seems so overwhelming but as you both move forward it will begin to sort itself out.  Tiny steps...every day a new step and the path will become more clear.

Last year my daughter was married to a wonderful guy.....there were times when it seemed I would not be there.....but I was!!! and still am after many surgeries and much chemo including xeloda.  As for diet for your mom my advice would be sensible diet ....lots of fruit and veg and protein for healing. With chemo the nurses will tell you that drinking plenty of fluids is essential.....water or just whatever your mom likes .....xeloda is a drug that is not too bad.....I had some tummy upset but that was about it.

 

To me there is nothing quite like a mother/daughter relationship......I believe your mom will be worried about you too....so please stay in touch.....tell your mom we are here.....stage IV and still going.....please talk to us whenever you like

sending love, maggie

Barnaby
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2013

I know how much of a shock a diagnosis can be, but there is always hope, so am praying for you and try to be up beat with her.

Barnaby
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2013

I now how awful a diagnosis is.  But there is always hope.  Am praying for you and your family.  Try to be upbeat with your Mom.  There will be good and bad days.  I was diagnosed last July and am progressing.

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 60
Joined: Mar 2013

Thank you all for the encouraging words. I will definitely be in touched all the time about my mom's treatment. I have to be strong for her. Hearing what all  you've been thru would definitely help me in taking good care of my mother. I am so grateful to have found new set of virtual friends here. I would definitely include you all in my prayers. God Bless us all.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2322
Joined: Oct 2011

Facing a cancer diagnosis, whether you are the patient or a family member, is brutal...I'm not sure that there is anything much scarier in life.   But there is hope.  There are people on this board who have been through it and are doing very well.  Her situation is not as bad as it oculd be (hard to believe, I know)...people with single distant mets have been shown to have a much better prognosis, and oddly enough, having a 2nd cancer is better than having colon cancer that has spread to another major organ.  So she has a lot to deal with, but there is still hope for a cure for your mom.  Keep us posted, and tell your mom we're rooting for her!  Hugs~Ann Alexandria

scared99
Posts: 73
Joined: Jun 2012

Sorry to hear about your mom, Your story is very similar to mine.  Me and my girlfriend were planning our wedding and in June my mom was diagnosed with Colon Cance, Stage 4 with a met to her sacrum and spots in her lungs.   It was devestating, the entire month of June I was in a haze. I lost 20 pounds myself.    This board helped me out alot.   I have had a hard time planning or even getting interested in planning my wedding.  Every free second I get I try to spend with my mom.   If I could go back I would have planned the wedding for this spring.   My mom is doing well but it is important to realize there will be many ups and downs.  

Coloncancerblows's picture
Coloncancerblows
Posts: 296
Joined: Feb 2013

So sorry to hear about your mom.  I also had a port inserted and it has been a life saver.  I've had 3 treatments so far.  The first time I went, I didn't know what to expect and was so scared it was going to hurt.  Least of my worries.  Didn't feel a thing so that should make it a little easier for your mother.  You might be there a while so just make sure she has books to reads or something to occupy the time.  Good luck and I'll be praying for you both.

 

Cynthia

cinreag
Posts: 154
Joined: Oct 2012

I was in the opposite situation as you. I was the patient and my 67 year old mother was my primary caregiver. Although she never showed weakness, I still believe my colon cancer diagnosis, surgery and recovery period was a lot harder on her than it was on me. I will be wishing you and your mother the best. This is a wonderful group of people you have found. I wish I had found them at the beginning of of my journey.

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1209
Joined: Apr 2009

I am the mother of another member, Johnnybegood. She has been bravely fighting the "beast" since 2008. This group will lift you up, cry with you, and offer a wealth of knowledge to help you and your Mom get through this. They are a blessing.

To quote our friend Bruce, "Never, Ever Give Up".

Luv,

Wolfen

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