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Me too, it's been a long time

miss maggie
Posts: 929
Joined: Mar 2010

I am so very sorry for not keeping in touch. I don't mean to whine. I really haven't been myself lately. Forgive me, especially to those who have every reason to whine.  My problem isn't my dx of NHL in Sept Oct 2009. I saw my oncologist Feb 4, and there is no reason for concern. I will know more when the results of my blood test come in. She told me she is running a full panel. If the results are good, I would still be in remission. I will have a Pet, CT Scan in July, and will see her in August. I forgot to mention. I did get some blood results from my Feb 4 visit. It was good. She also looked over the results of the many blood test my internist took. She said they were very good. Does anyone know what kind of tests she will be running??? It just seems I had so many blood tests. What is left??? Does anyone know?? 

As is wrote in the above paragraph, I am not myself. Right now I am on pain medication for the pain I have in my right hip. I do believe this was caused by the bone marrow biopsy I had in Oct 2009. For those not familiar, I am having a complete right hip replacement March 12. The pain is horrible without pain medication. It does have side effects. With it, at least I can do some of my everyday tasks, and enjoy for part of the day a social life. My personality has changed, and it seems I am not saying the right things to friends. Which has caused some conflict.

Today I am glad I was able to write all of you, and share my feelings. I know you understand. I find myself frightened of having surgery.  I really have no choice. Months back, I received such encouragement from my family on this site. Also, the information I received was very valuable.

There are so many things I have to take care of before surgery. There are so many doctor visits to find out if my health will allow surgery. So far, everything is a go.

Jim, I see you are still there for everyone. I hope everything is good with you. Sue, I love your new picture. You look so beautiful. How is baby Lizzy?

If anyone is up to it, please let me know by responding to this post, how you are doing? There are so many of you that I think of often. Even in the state I am in, you are never forgotten.

What an interesting format. If only it were easier to get to this site. I had a few problems. But, I am here.

Love love and God Bless all of you. Stay strong and positive.   Love Maggie

cathyp's picture
cathyp
Posts: 366
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi Maggie!

You should know that all whining is encouraged and allowed here!  That is why we are here.  You can vent and rant away.  Often after we write our fears and concerns, a greater perspective is acheived for oneself.  We just need to get it off our chest.  There is no better place to do it than here.  It is safe and all of us get exactly what you are feeling , saying and sharing.  It doesn't matter if others may be worse off than us right now.  Whatever is happening to yourself now is real and relevant, it all matters. 

First of all, pain does a number on our individual psyche.  It is so hard to be in a good frame of mind when you are suffering in pain.  So please don't beat yourself up for what you may say to friends or family.  I hope they will be able to realize what is happening now and hang in there with you to greet  better days ahead together!

Secondly, it is so normal to have fear for your upcoming surgery.  It is hard to be ok with having no control over the procedure and outcome.  If you can, focus on what you do have control over ie: diet, pre op physical therapy compliance, eliminating stressors, seeking out counsel to talk about your fears.  Nothing is never easy especially when we have travelled the cancer journey.  For now, you may be worrying about another shoe to drop with all this pre op testing.  I guess what I'm trying to say, your current state is so understandable and natural, please go easy on yourself.

I am so happy you took the time to share with us and let us know how you are doing.  If you can, please keep us up to date.  Hoping you are able to sort out all the many emotions you have, you can do it!

Sincerely,      Cathy

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1158
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Maggie,

I have missed reading posts from you too. I know that you must be getting nervous, but hang in there.

We have a dear family friend who was and is still batteling cancer, and during her brief remission she had a hip replacement. She is 85 almost 86. She has been  on so many chemos and had radiation, but she still says that her recovery from the hip replacement was easy compared to everything else. She was glad that she did have it done.

I know that everyone is different, and I tend to get very scared before any surgery. For me that is a very hard time. I'll keep you close and think only positive thoughts for you.

I wish you only the very best and easiest recovery. We are always here for you.

Huge hugs for you,

Lisha

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3171
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Maggie,

  What you are feeling is perfectly normal and I hope sharing your feelings with us has helped a bit. Cathy is so wise and said everything I would say, so re-read her post and know what you are feeling is perfectly normal and "OK"! Pain can cause us to not be ourselves, especially chronic pain that goes on and on. Once your hip is fixed, you will feel like a brand new Maggie! March 12th will be here before you know it. Until then,take it one day at a time and try to stay as stress free as possible. Thank you for the compliment on my picture, and yes...Lizzy is doing just great. Getting bigger everyday and bringing more joy than I thought possible. Can you believe she will be 2 in May? You can see recent pictures of her on my expression page. I will keep you in my prayers Maggie, and you know you can come here anytime to vent..we are ALWAYS here for you! Rest and be good to yourself....Love you...Sue 

anliperez915's picture
anliperez915
Posts: 755
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi Miss Maggie,

It's really weird, I was just thinking about you when I saw your post! I had been wondering how you were doing, and just have to say that I'm really sorry to hear that you're in pain. We're always going to be here for you and don't worry about whinning to us because that's why were here for. Hope your surgery goes well, please keep us updated on how it turns out for you. Sending you lots of positive energy and thoughts for a speedy recovery! Take care ((((HUGE HUGS)))) 

Sincerely,

Liz

Chris17's picture
Chris17
Posts: 119
Joined: Oct 2010

We are entitled to whine, need to get it off your chest, i will keep positive thoughts for you Maggie, good luck and have a speedy recovery!

illead's picture
illead
Posts: 540
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Maggie,

     We are fairly new here, maybe a year. My husband Bill is in remission a year from Mantle Cell Lymphoma.  I just wanted to ditto everything that has been written.  I have suffered from a pinched nerve for a year now  AArrgh!  Anyway I wanted to tell you that I have had several friends who have had hip and knee replacements and hip replacement is a snap compared to knee so I think you will be really glad you had it.  Look to better days.  Bill and Becky

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

My dear Maggie , Everytime I sign into this site you are always encouraging others. Don't ever apologize for voicing your opinions.  I hope your surgery will relieve your pain and you will be back to new soon.  Take care of you.  Take care of the things you need to do , a little at a time. May God bless you and I am praying for you on March 12th.   Love Joanie

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2057
Joined: Aug 2011

I thought I responded to you but perhaps I didn't or got interrupted (chemo brain lives) :).

So good to hear from you and I'm sorry about your pain.  Hopefully the surgery will take care of that and the other problems as well.    I'm doing pretty well.  I haven't won that lottery yet so I can't take everyone to France yet;).  I've been looking for a roommate to help out with expenses for awhile but it's been slow go so far.   I've also thought about getting a small dog but I doubt if a canine can help out with expenses unless he can start a "dog blog" and get advertising revenues from pet food companies...(though that might be a fun idea).

You know you have friends/family here and you can share as much as you want.  I hope things go well for you and please keep us updated.

Hang in there and hugs,

Jim

40yearsandcounting
Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2012

Dear Miss Maggie-

 

I'm a relative newcomer to this esteemed group but I just wanted to add my voice to the others and say I'm thinking of you. I'm also SO glad you're "whining" 'cause it makes me feel normal!! I've been in the OR so many times I've lost count. Sometimes I just look at all those machines and think "I don't know if I can keep doing this." I get it. We ALL get it. I think we should just agree that there is no such thing as whining. Let's just consider it 'venting' and realize that it's just part of being a survivor. It goes with the territory. We're allowed to be scared, we're allowed to be angry, we're allowed to be human. Period.

I LOVE this group of people and am thrilled to have found you. Maggie- you hang in there. You clearly have many "fans" and we're all here for you. 

Take care everyone- Erin

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