Jan 28, 2013 - 6:12 am
Found this just wondering how you all think based on experience,
From a Healthcare Perspective Page 4
What Makes a Man and Woman Feel Loved
Lemont C. Monroe, Sr., LPN II, TH.B, M Div.
When the institution of marriage was established well over 2000 years ago, it was established by GOD with much flavor
and favor, with every i dotted and every T crossed. The rules of this institution are complex in terms of content, but very
simple in terms of direction to follow, as discussed in the Book of Ephesians. So now I guess you are wondering what
these rules are that I am speaking of. They are love, honor, respect, share, understand, and provide for your spouse.
While this is not an exhaustive list of what can be or should be done, I feel that this is a good generalization of such without
making this article too long. In order to get into the subject matter of this article I must now shift and ask that you
focus your attention on the latter of the rules; supporting and taking care of one another.
When two individuals begin to engage in the institution of marriage, from engagement to Holy Matrimony, there are no
expectations that one may become the care provider for the other, whether palliative or otherwise. Yes, the thought may
be there due to a residual reflection of the wedding vows, for better or worse, but the absolute idea of having to focus on
the worse is extremely far from the minds of parties involved. Yet statistically speaking, if a couple is married long enough,
there will be sickness to some degree and one or the other will have to step in and provide care. So what is it that makes
a man and woman feel loved from a healthcare perspective. It is as simple as this, knowing that you are there for them
unconditionally and the fact that you share their pain and suffering. This can be done, not so much by what you say, but by
what you do and the attitude behind it. Please note a non-exhaustive list of some very simple things that can be done to
make him or her feel loved.
1. Men focus your undivided attention on her and her needs by letting all things go regarding your extracurricular
activities. You can always resume those later.
2. Ensure her that the children (if applicable) are under control, as you should already be doing, and everything at home
3. Take family leave, if you can, and let her know that this is especially for her.
4. If hospitalized, you provide the A.M. care for her instead of the nursing staff. After all she is the good thing that has
been provided for you and this will satisfy the touch that she desires to have from you. Trust me; this will win many
points of favor for many days to come. Also, make sure she has her own gowns and personal items if possible. This
will make her feel pretty
5. If she has not had her nails, hair and makeup done, tell her she is still pretty and mean it.
6. If permitted, bring her a meal from the outside and eat with her.
7. Don’t be a jerk if you become frustrated. If you feel this coming on, leave the environment for a little while so she
can`t see it.
8. Pray with her without her having to ask.
9. Use words like, I will, I can, I understand.
10. Talk with and to her and not at her.
1. Let him be the baby that he will be.
2. Be understanding of his low tolerance for pain.
3. Take family leave if you can.
4. Stroke his ego.
5. Tell him you love him and mean it.
6. Allow him to have the illusion that he is still in charge.
In my opinion there is no greater way to show love, than to take care of someone who can’t take care of themselves,
especially in a cancer related, palliative care situation within the institution of marriage.
Merry Christmas to all.