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aurora_t's picture
aurora_t
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2012

my boyfriend was diagnosed with colon cancer which has spread to peritoneal activity.

today they told him that he has only 6 months to live. Im so scared and sad. He is depressed most of the time i dont know what to do or say to make him feel better

Chelsea71
Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

So sorry for you and your boyfriend. Is the cancer in the peritoneal cavity only? If it is contained to the p cavity, maybe he would qualify for HIPEC surgery.

Chelsea

aurora_t's picture
aurora_t
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2012

thank you for your reply.

yes it is but he doesnt have papers so he doesnt have insurance to cover the expenses, I just feel so depressed.

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2942
Joined: Jan 2010

Is you boy friend in the United States?  If so what state?

If from Mexico, and he is an Illegal alien, he may receive free basic healthcare through the Mexican Consulate.  They may also help him find other assistance.

It may be that he should explore options of returning to home country so that he can get treatment heneeds.

Marie who loves kitties

 

 

aurora_t's picture
aurora_t
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2012

thank you for your reply.. he is from ecuador. He wanted to go back to his country but they said it would be better if he stayed here cuz he would be losing alot of time if he went there  . he would have to do all the tests from the beginning.We live in new york

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3402
Joined: Apr 2010

since  he doesn't have insurance and can't be treated here, then it would make more sense to get on an airplane and get treated in his country.  You say he would have to do the tests again, it doesn't take too long to take the tests over and any tests he's already recieved, he should take with him and see what they can already use.  Why sit around and wait to die when you can be pro-active?  Plus it may be good for him to do what he wants to do, why let doctors that say they can't help him stop him from doing what he wants?  Since he doesn't have papers, I'm guessing since he wants to go home that most of his extended family is in Equador and he would find comfort in being around his family.

Timelines given by the docs is normally wrong, he needs to get where he can get treatments and not worry about timelines.

hoping you find medical care very soon,

.Winter Marie

Chelsea71
Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Sounds like HIPEC could help him. I'm from Canada so I can't help you with regards to the insurance problem, but I'm sure some others here may have advice. Forget about 6 months. We all get those depressing time lines. The doctors have no idea how much time we have. Focus on one day at a time.

Chelsea

aurora_t's picture
aurora_t
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2012

thank you chelsea. i think doctors get their patients even more depressed and its not good in a hard situation like this.

i hope he can do HIPEC

 

hippiechicks's picture
hippiechicks
Posts: 326
Joined: Sep 2012

I am so sorry to hear your news.  It is normal for you and he to be scared and sad...but finding strength is essential to fight and find the help you need.  Is your boyfriend in the hospital? If he is there should be social services there to help navigate through those issues. Best of luck to you both!

 

aurora_t's picture
aurora_t
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2012

thank you hippiechicks

its hard to be strong in times like this. But i have to be for him.

 

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Dealing with timelines makes our journey emotionally harder. Doctors should not make timeline statements. I am sorry your boyfriend was given a timeline. You have each other and will be strong. Love endures. It's ok to feel like you do. Each day is a new opportunity to be together and plan fun things to do. Barb

ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

I am assuming he is not currently a legal US citizen or have a green card yes?  Have you attempted to contact NYS for medicaid assistance? While I am not totally familiar with the laws, I too live in NY and have heard of others in this state who have been able to obtain medicaid in such types of emergency situations

In any even, i feel your pain, when my husband was diagnosed he was given the same prognosis, although we had insurance and he did receive treatment, unfortunately it was unsuccessful in the end but it did give me 3 more months with him than originally told

Kathy

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