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Having Trouble coping with prognosis

Melp
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2013

 

Its so sad and hard to hear someone put your exact feeling and thinking into words. It is awful to think others out there are experiencing this same rollercaoster of emotions, helplessness and just plain anger.

Only today I spoke with my mums oncolongist with regards to her cancer. We were both given the devasting news that chemo can no longer help and all that can be done now is pain relief.

On behalf of Dad and for myself, as well I spoke with her Dr. alone, as she did not want to know a prognosis (which if I was in her shoes I wouldnt want to know either). Boy it was like a blow to the heart when he said my mum only had weeks to live.I mean we have been living with this cancer for 6 months but it still doesnt prepare you for the reality of a final countdown.

Hardest was to tell my Dad, whos has been with my mum for 41 years, he is her yin to her yang. Mum is 59 years young.

Whats harder is my mum is such a brave person. She never says if theres pain of if shes not feeling well. She always wants to protect us, but I just wish she'd let us in so we can share with her. I have no idea what she is thinking or how she is coping because she puts on such a brave face and doesnt want us to worry, but that is getting harder for me, sometimes I just wish she'd share a little so I can cry with her and try to be her protector.

I just dont know what to feel anymore, I have been searching the web to find more information on what is to be expected in this final stage and I guess it wasnt facts and information I was seeking, it was emotional support from those going through the same.

I have been reading throug the discussion boards and have found so much useful information and peoples views and experiences it really does make me feel not so lonely anymore.

 

nanajacksonx3
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2013

dear Melp, by no means are you alone.  my husband (58) has stage IV liver w mets to lymph nodes. i thought i wanted to know prognosis until i asked. i then realized it didnt matter what the dr said because he uses science and statistics to make a prognosis.God is the beginning and the end and He alone knows the day each of us will be called home. we walked away knowing,  we could all be raptured before dying to cancer. we learned we should all live each day as if its our last. you are not alone!

linda62
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2013

Iv titled this liver cancer but what i realy need is to know how to be there for my husband and what to do.His sister is in what we think the last chance for her liver cancer she is to weak for anymore chemo and has been told if she had it now it would kill her.She must only weigh about 8stone now,she can eat sometimes but her stomach is so distended eating not only hurts her but causes severe constipation.The doctors have told her that they will try last chance chemo in a months time but oin the meantime she has managed to be reffered to the london for a course of mistletoe treatment,the only trouble with that is its not until april and she said herself she wont be here by then.

                                                               She told the docs she didnt want to know how long she has left its tearing her family apart,could somebody please tell me what to do as i feel so inadequate

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