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Gandalf Was One Smart Dude...a little OT, but maybe not.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

 


Don’t know how many of you out there are Lord of the Rings fans, but in my family, both the books and the movies have given us a lot of enjoyment over the years. My husband and I have both read the trilogy several times, and were thrilled to introduce it to our teenage daughters, first with audiobooks, and then when the movies came out. Those three years that included a fall family trip to the Cinerama here in downtown Seattle to see each installment were priceless…years later we still talk about them (especially the solo guy, reeking of pot, who sat next to us during one movie and responded to the hobbits’ love of pipe weed with a cheerful “Right on!”). Now our son is old enough to enjoy the movies, and last week we watched The Fellowship of the Ring with him. One scene in particular has stuck with me, in a way that it never did in previous viewings. Frodo has been forced by circumstances beyond his control to leave his home and go on a quest that may very well end in death, and he says to Gandalf:

“I wish none of this had happened.”

Gandalf replies:
“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

Last time I watched this movie, I didn’t have cancer (or at least I didn’t know it yet). Now my life has changed so dramatically it’s almost as if I’m a different person. Gandalf’s words truly resonated with me this time. They sum up for me the only way to inhabit this new world of mine. Wishing that things had never happened will only hold me back, keep me from making the most of whatever span of time I’m given. It’s funny…I expect the realm of fantasy to provide me with a little light entertainment, an escape from the daily challenges. I didn’t expect to find wisdom during a evening of elves and popcorn.  So what about you guys?  Have you found comfort in anything unexpected?  A book? A movie?  Or something else?  

Hugs from AA

 
smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Loved your story, interesting on the new perspective things have now...

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4298
Joined: Jun 2009

Just watchin' you:)

 

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

I'll take that as a...compliment?   I guess?

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4298
Joined: Jun 2009

I like seeing all the flashbulbs go off in your head....

Reminds of me of those old cameras from the 60's...

Wink

The analogy you used from the experience is dead on...we have to do what we have to do...when we have to do it...and how we do it, is the key...as you stated...and Gandy too. 

There really is nothing else to do....loved your story:)

See you, Sunshine:)

Chelsea71
Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Thanks for the nice post, Ann. I've read it several times and find it to be quite helpful. I too love books and movies, however, I can't come up with specific examples at this time. My biggest source of comfort has come from the wise words of people here at CSN. I also find Pepe's weekly thread to be a comfort. I lead a boring life and therefore rarely participate. It comforts me to see how people are continuing on and enjoying their life despite the many challenges that come with this disease.

Chelsea

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

can end up being a great source of comfort.  Information too, of course, but just knowing that other people are going through something similar and can understand the feelings that accompany getting shipped out to Camp Cancer is a powerful thing. AA

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

The boards help me cope and find inner strength. I am not the same person and see friend's situations's or complaints from a different perspective.
Knowing my time on earth is limited and precious has heightened my sensitivity yet strengthened me to a level friends and family (majority) don't get. I try to be understanding but many send cards and tell me how I feel - really? Many mean well but I find it annoying.
It doesn't take much to make me happy and find joy. Since I spent so much time working my married life I find comfort with cooking (as I can) filling birdfeeders, and hope to watercolor paint. I spend time in yoga classes at our local cancer therapy center. I miss working but realize even more how superficial some relationships were.
I have not watched all these movies and would like too. I find some of the cable tv series funny
and I can jump around on Netflix.
Trying to do and make projects around the house is something I am doing to try and fill long days.
I start chemo soon and know it will be challenging emotionally.
Barb

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

as pathetic as that may sound.  But when I was on chemo, there was so little I felt like doing during the bad days (I did have good days, too, when I could get out and be more active), lying on the couch was all that I could manage.  And TV shows were perfect for my limited, chemo-brain attention span.  I had to give up my work too, as a result of the stupid cancer.  It's hard to get used to a different pace of life, but it sounds like you've got some interesting plans for things to try!  I think keeping busy is very useful...helps to keep our minds occupied.

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Very therapeutic....gets you in touch with inner strength

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Funnily enough when I was first going through diagnosis and early treatment I found a lot of inspiration from Lance Armstrongs books about his own battle with cancer. My how the mightya fall and it is hard to think the same wayabout him now, although his books still undeniably helped me.

 

Of late I also see inspiration in almost anything that affirms life and find it can triggertears in me in the most ridiculous way. I have founmyself crying to x-factor, Harry potter, ads for department stores and shows aboutpeople's buyinhouses. I now have to be cautious what I watch with whom. I see messages mainly about life and how vital it is in places I never saw it and ittriggers something very fragile in me at the moment. That part is settling down (and needs to before I return to work as a psychiatrist so I'm not sobbing over my patients!) but in many ways I have enjoyed it and seen it as a positive.

 

We do look at lifedifferently post diagnosis and I have found even more so since my major op and changeini circumstance to being 'disabled'. It is in many ways a positive side effect of the traumas we have all suffered and we should cherish it.

 

Steve

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

I have also admired lance, strangely i am more impressed that he is human and real. he made a mistake, he has been busted and i guess he has apologised. no big deal for me, we are all human with strengths and weaknesses. his approach inspired me, a few supplemets to boost performance, how cool is that. its just functional and integrative medicine, they have been using dhea for years.

the tears are fantastic, your awareness is so great. you have sacrificed alot to have the best chance to stay  here, why not be emotional. what ridiculous in my opinion is not crying, not seeing inspiration everywhere. 

why do we have to get cancer before we can see the beauty of life. maybe thats the way it should be.

hugs,

Pete

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

I was a bit of a sobber.  The cheesiest TV commercial could really do me in.  But I think it must be pretty common for many of us cancer folk to have new and tender spots, relating to our changed circumstances.  I've given up trying to even hide it...my family is used to seeing me reading or watching something with tears running down my cheeks.  I would imagine that might not go over well, however, with your patients, who no doubt will expect you to be exactly the same person you were before all of this, because that's what they need you to be.  That tends to happen with our family members anyway...I would imagine it would be even more so in the therapeutic setting.  (I read an essay not long ago that kind of addressed this issue..."All The Time We Have" by David Rakoff...in which he talks about his long-time therapist becoming terminally ill and how his first reaction was concern about his own needs as a patient).  Finding the positives in all of this is incredibly hard at times, but if we can...what a gift.

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3915
Joined: Nov 2010

Maybe the hobbits, the elves and the dwarves hide in the black forest.

I wrote this just the other day on my blog, what a nice co-incidence.

hugs,

Pete

http://petertrayhurn.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-mother-wifes-hoarding-hopeful-bilbo.html

I am reading "the hobbit"by tolkein each day to my kids, its my favourite book. on page 24 The wizard Gandalf says of the hobbit to the doubting dwarves "There is alot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself" I am a positive thinking junkie, I read this sentence to my 7 year old son and few times. If he gets no other message in life from me this one will be enough. he explained it in his words, and said turn the light off. The other night he had a nightmare about me dieing. Its nice to be loved, we talked about how important dreams are, he was even scared to talk about it in the daytime, but we did gently.

If a hobbit can steal a gold ring, maybe its possible for a few friends to find a way to beat a challenging illness, and in the very least have fun living while we try.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2254
Joined: Oct 2011

that's for sure, Pete.  Great minds think alike, I guess.  Lots of Tolkien floating around out there with the recent movie coming out, but it's still funny that we would both be finding our inspiration in his works.  Although I must say that he has many lines I love...even one that I've included in my plans for my memorial services (hopefully, still a ways down the road).

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