Jan 22, 2013 - 11:11 am
Many here are the caregivers for those of us battling this beast. They are the voice of the individual going through this journey. My thoughts and prayers are with them all and I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like for them to see their loved one go through this ordeal. Moreso, facing the fact that their loved may indeed lose the battle is again, unimaginable.
For those of us fortunate enough to have a caregiver, it brings emotions, worries, thoughts and concerns that are also hard to imagine. I'm very blessed in that after all these years, I've found my life partner. We met two years ago and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. We've been together now for 18 months. She was with me by my side when I suffered my 2nd heart attack. We take care of each other selflessly and without reservation. For those that believe in soul mates, I know she is that for me.
Things were going so well and now this! The heart attack last October was a small bump in the road compared to dealing with cancer. It's funny, but I'm not so concerned with myself as I am with my loved ones. Having survived two heart attacks that would have taken most, I'm quite familiar with my own mortality. My faith and my experience has given me insight and a comfort many others may not have.
I visited the caregiver thread and have read other posts from caregivers and it just makes this entire ordeal more difficult to handle. Many times, cancer is indiscriminate but being that I was a smoker, I know why I have this and that adds to the difficulty. My partner is a very strong woman but I'm afraid for her. I SO don't want her to see me get so sick. It's not a pride thing either. Having lost family and friends to cancer, I know what it was like for me. Having family that has undergone treatment (my brother-in-law and step sister), I know what it was like for them and their caregivers.
So... how do I, as the one with cancer, help my partner and caregiver go through this? I love her dearly and let her know in my words and actions and will continue to do so throughout this roller coaster ride but what else can I do to make sure she takes care of herself? She has joined the site but has not read nor spent any time here. Perhaps it's denial or fear or both and more, I don't know. I just want to make sure she has the support. My sister and a friend who's partner has recently dealt with H&N cancer have been in contact and I know that will help but I would appreciate any advice on what I can do personally to make this easier once the ride starts.