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My Grammy has stage 4 ovarian Cancer.......

sholso
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2013

Hello Everyone. I found this page by coincidence and was just coming here for a little support if that is o.k.? I did not know where else to go. My Grammy is 72 and about 2 years ago she was diagnosed with stage 3 or 4 ovarian cancer. Unfortunately it had spread to her colon and bladder as well. When she was younger she had a partial hysterectomy, and when she turned a certain age (I can't remember what that was) they told her that she didn't need to get pap smears anymore...so she stopped. About a year later she was diagnosed. I live in another state and so when my dad called to tell me I was heartbroken. She had surgery and not to long after that she had started her rounds of chemo and radiation. For a little while her cancer had shrunk and was not really doing anything so she went into remission. It came back and then she did some more rounds of chemo and radiation. I got a phone call from my sister (she quit her job to take care of my grammy) telling me that they were waiting for the hospice nurse to call back and they were going to put her on it and they did. My dad said that they were only giving her 1-2 weeks left and it has already been close to a week when they had said that. Right now she is in the hospital because I heard that she is really delusional and she is starting to become forgetful and violent. For instance my sister told me that yesterday they were visiting her and my grammy wanted to get up and go to the bathroom (but she has a catheter in) and she was insisting that she needed to get up and go, they called the nurse in and when he showed her the pee bag she hit him and said "get away from me son of a b***h". I am flying to AZ on Monday to go see her but I am scared. I am so afraid to see her like that and I am probably going to lose my composure when I do try to go. What if she passes away while I am there? I am pretty close to her as she raised me until I was about 5. I just love her so much but I know that she is just ready to go to her final resting place and be reunited with my grandpa. Thank you for listening if you got this far.

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1270
Joined: Jun 2010

your grammy, I wish her peace as she nears the end of her journey.  Please feel free to come here for support.

 

Karen 

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1220
Joined: Jul 2012

It is incredibly difficult to see the loved one suffering towards the end. Delirium, memory loss and violent outbursts are common at the late stages. 

It's the disease talking, not your beloved grandma, so you should not be afraid or embarrassed. 

It may help you to talk to the hospice staff or to the psychologist about your fears, they are trained and knowledgable in palliative care and grieving process.

The most important thing you can do is to simply be there, talk to her, hold her hand and support the rest of your family in this trying time.  

 

I wish your family the best,

Alexandra

 

wholfmeister's picture
wholfmeister
Posts: 257
Joined: Dec 2012

It is so hard to face death for someone you love.  Hold on to your precious memories.  I'll be praying for you in the coming days.

wholfmeister's picture
wholfmeister
Posts: 257
Joined: Dec 2012

It is so hard to face death for someone you love.  Hold on to your precious memories.  I'll be praying for you in the coming days.

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1248
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm so sorry about your beloved Grammy.  Your decision to fly in to see her is very brave and mature.  Please know that it's okay to be scared and it's definitely okay and only natural to break down and cry; that's part of the grieving process.  Try to focus on all of the good memories you have of her.  I think that your being by her side will bring her great comfort.  Sending lots of prayers to you and your Grammy.

Kelly

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