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When does the crying stop

Unhappy
Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2012

I found out I had cancer  over two month ago and had 2 surgerys and all is going good but I still wake up crying .Wish I would stop the crying .

dianehelen's picture
dianehelen
Posts: 131
Joined: Nov 2012

i wish i  had an answer for you but  I'm in the same  boat.  diagnosis 11.15, lumpectomy 12/3, chemo port surgery tomorrow. i  have Not gone a day yet without several outbursts. it seems to just come over me in uncontrolable waves.

hope we both can get to a point where it subsides

 

 

GrandmaJ's picture
GrandmaJ
Posts: 209
Joined: Nov 2009

I've been there.  Cried for weeks after my diagnosis and just couldn't deal with it.  I finally sought the help of a psychiatrist who put me on Lexapro.  Saved my sanity.  Good luck.

GrandmaJ's picture
GrandmaJ
Posts: 209
Joined: Nov 2009

I've been there.  Cried for weeks after my diagnosis and just couldn't deal with it.  I finally sought the help of a psychiatrist who put me on Lexapro.  Saved my sanity.  Good luck.

ladyg's picture
ladyg
Posts: 1577
Joined: Apr 2010

a normal part of the journey. Everyone goes through it. I know I did. Even when I was at the end of treatment I cried. If you need some help getting through you can ask for some sort of anti depressent. I am still using citalopram.

Hugs,

Georgia

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5435
Joined: Oct 2010

We each handle things our own way...take you time adjusting. There is no right or way to handle it. I was good until I was in my car ALONE. (not too often do I get that) OR my other place/ time was in the morning showers...boy did the water works flow then.

 

Journals helped me in hind sight. I had 2 given to me as gifts. I kind of felt goofy writting in them daily but on oaccssion I look back at them now-and it was a BIG help.

 

Denise

Unhappy
Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2012

I can relate to most of them at night seem to be the worst.I don't like being alone it give me to much time to thank.Doctor give you so much to read and try and make a decision on treatment .It is very nerve racking for me.Be glad when the water work stop.Don't like feeling the way I have.Its just not me.

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4010
Joined: Oct 2009

Crying is normal and should gradually subside.  Just remember that, if it doesn't or if you are overwhelmed, talk with your oncologist.  Depression/anxiety is more common in cancer survivors and your onc will know this. 

Many of us take something to cope--for me 1/2 dose of the lowest lexapro keeps my tears dried up and my anxiety under control.  Do talk with your oncologist before taking anything for depression/anxiety because some drugs are not compatible with our treatments.

Some links:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/01/04/when-cancer-patients-also-grapple-with-depression/

http://www.cancer.org/acs/groups/cid/documents/webcontent/002816-pdf.pdf

deeb111
Posts: 139
Joined: May 2011

Been 2 years for me and I still cry But I think its my coping mechanism  so maybe it will stop and maybe not its how you deal with it that counts we all loose a part of ourselves with this disease and I dont think crying is a problem it sometimes is a release of anxiety so good luck be well

 

deeb111
Posts: 139
Joined: May 2011

Been 2 years for me and I still cry But I think its my coping mechanism  so maybe it will stop and maybe not its how you deal with it that counts we all loose a part of ourselves with this disease and I dont think crying is a problem it sometimes is a release of anxiety so good luck be well

 

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2189
Joined: Jun 2010

I wish you had a better name than "Unhappy" which sort of sounds defeating.  

When I began the journey back in 1994, I cried for 2 minutes going down my hill into town.  I decided that if I was going to cry, I had to go back home as it would not do to cry on the road.  I stopped and asked myself the worse that could happen and it was death.  I realized that I was a long, long way from that point and there was no reason to feel sorry for myself.  I also had children who depended on me and for insurance sakes, I had to work.  I never cried again, I had to make a plan on how I was going to handle this new situation and did.  At the time that bc was diagnose I had just spent 2 months dealing with a staph infection that nearly cost me my life.  So I was very aware of it all.

When I had recurrences, I did the same thing and found it helpful not to dwell on the negative and find the right combination of drugs to help me.  I have as I just past my 18th year mark last summer.

You received good advise from many ladies here to ask your oncologist for a little help and some depression medication.  That is good advise.  Also changing your name from Frown "Unhappy" Smile to something positive might be helpful.

We are all here to help you on this journey you didn't want to go on.

 

Wishing you the best,

 

DorisSmile

Unhappy
Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2012

cancer .I am a happy person most of the time but cancer is not a happy thought .I have stopped crying as much as I was started walking and riding my bike. Reading the bible also helps .

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2189
Joined: Jun 2010

I've been breast cancer forums and discussion boards since 1997.   In those years, I have noticed that people who do use names that are negative seem to have a hard time to go on with their life.  However you made a great start by walking and riding your bike.  I'm not religious but I do hope for you that reading your bible helps.

You were diagnose with breast cancer and again you don't state the stage or the kind.  If you were diagnose with stage IV, you will be treated and perhaps if ER+/PR+ or HER2+ will be given some other form of treatment and go on with your life.

70% of women and men never have a recurrence and there is no reason why you should not think yourself among them.  it is hard to think that positive when going through treatment.  That I do remember of my time in that mode.

I can't walk anymore due to a medical problem but when I did, walking was a wonderful stress reliever.  I hope it will be the same for you.  It was my kind of depression medication.  Walk, walk, walk... and I would feel 90% better.

Do wish you the very best on this journey,

Doris

Unhappy
Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2012

when I have had so many family members who never made it .I do feel lucky they found mind in the first stage .There was only one out of 5 family member who lived with cancer .And she had the same kind of cancer I was diagnose with so I do fell that I will a survivor.I do worry about my dauthers hope they don't get the message I did when so many died with cancer time have change so much since then . More test so cancer can be found early. And better medications.

laughs_a_lot's picture
laughs_a_lot
Posts: 1368
Joined: Mar 2011

I did not cry a lot either.  I grew up in a family with 7 brothers so I learned to cry only when absolutely necessary, (often when alone).  I had always been the strong one in my family and had to keep the benefits rolling in for my spouse.  Yes I'd rather not be the strong one but it is the hand I was dealt so I roll with it.

Josie21
Posts: 358
Joined: Nov 2012

I tried to be so strong when I was diagnosed. I kept a lot to myself until I realized I was in a serious depression. Speaking to a counselor and going on lexapro for a year saved my sanity. Of course it's ok to cry, just make sure you are not getting over come with depression. I couldn't believe how fast it happened. The best thing the counselor said to me was ,"You did not have a tooth pulled. You were told you had a disease that was going to change your life forever. It's normal to feel sad."  

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

It is a grieving process and you will cry. But just know, things will get better with time. Little by little you will "look" for the joys in your everyday. Reach out, vent, pray to get through this.

 

I'm praying for you.

 

Sylvia

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