Dec 28, 2012 - 12:14 pm
I felt like a total idiot at my husband's weekly follow up visit. His regular MD onc who we love and is so amazing and comforting was on vacation and a NP filled in. Stupid me asked a question about what they plan to do to monitor lungs as we always hear about monitoring neck. So I was basically looking for reassurance. what the NP said was " we do a head to toe PET 7 weeks after last rad and that will show lungs. But if we find anything, it is not curable so we hope there is nothing. I wanted to smack the guy then but he continued. He said, it does happen but it is very rare...that's bad enough right? Well....he continued say the that all it takes is one rogue cancer cell....."but don't worry, that's what the chemo is for". Then he went on when say that most people at our stage in tax want to know if it is working....but there is no way to know unfortunately. We never even considered that it wasn't working!!!!
My husband was rattled and freaked out!!!! We were both dazed. What did I just do???
I spoke to RN coordinator who was present at appt and told her that I was freaked out. What are we rfacing facing? She ended up telling us that what he spoke of did reflect the MD onc opinion. The MD is confident that we caught it early and sure that he plans to,achieve a full cure for us. The NP was speaking in generalities that did not pertain to and and what we are,facing now.
I just felt so guilty for adding that worry To my hubby. I do the research and stay ahead of the curve as much as possible but I realized that I need to take into consideration that my hubby has to mentally stay focused on the task at hand now....moot two montAs away.
I hope this NP learns that he doesn't need to identify the what ifs......us warriors are fully aware of those on our own. We want assurance that they are doing everything they can to achieve the best possible Outcome.....reassure us that we are in good hands. Don't remind us how cuncenacle rancher is.....we already know!!!!
I still feel badly.....but have to let it go and refocus my efforts. Thankfully my hubby knows me and knows I fight and research get to the best for,him. He isn't mad and the RN coordinator helped alleviate his worry.