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FIRST CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY WITHOUT MY MOM
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Dec 27, 2012 - 6:20 am
So, this is the first Christmas I have ever had without my mom. To top it off, my mom's birthday is on the 26th. It felt so unnatural having those 2 days go by without her. I had the worst dreams about her the evening of Christmas Eve. She stood in front of me, but when I went to talk to her she left the house, so I woke up screaming her name and please dont go, all night long. I feel so numb, it has been 6 months since she has passed and it hasn't gotten any easier. I'm 34 years old and both of my parents are gone. My kids are never going to have all of those wonderful memories that I have. I know I can keep their memory alive by talking about them, and I do, but it's still not the same. I look back and remember all of those sleepless nights and long days or nights in the hospital......funny thing is that I wish I had those back. Not that I want her to be sick, but I would give anything to just have a talk with her again. I miss her so desperately, there is no love like a mothers love. |
Joined: Aug 2009
Those firsts are really hard. First holiday, birthday, etc. I lost my dad 12 years ago and my husband 3 years ago. The special days are still hard for me. I have accepted that they will never be the same, but I still miss them. My grief has mellowed over the years, though. I'm glad you have the good memories. So do I. I appreciate that my family and I can share the stories to keep the memories alive. We are so fortunate to have those memories. My goal now is to keep making memories. if there is one thing I learned from cancer, it is how precious our time with loved ones is. Take care and know that you are not alone. Many of us shed a few tears this time of year. Fay