Dec 25, 2012 - 5:49 pm
As I sit here enjoying my family today, I think forward a bit to my new life and what it will bring. Was dx'ed with Clear Cell Renal Cell Carcinoma on 11-27-12, surgery 12-4-12 to remove the betrayed organ...it seems like it was yesterday I was sitting in the ER thinking I had kidney stones before the bad news was told to me. It has been a whirlwind of doctors, hospital room sessions, needles, IV bags, followups, and re-telling my story to my family and friends what seems like hundreds of times. Yet the word cancer still seems like a new term, a whole new meaning that it never had before it was found inside ME. Even with my good prognosis following the kidney removal, I know cancer concerns will be a lifelong partner with me, and I try not to worry about every 6 month checkup, try not to worry about what MIGHT happen before it even happens. I realize that there are others with kidney cancer that have it much worse than I do, that some of them will not be with us in a few years. Such is life, we are born, we live, and we die. What we do between the birth and death part defines us, defines our legacy to the rest of the world, defines our individual humanity. Instead of thinking about the bad, the negatives, I want to think and focus on the good and the positives. I want to make my part count, the previous 42 years plus how ever many years I have left in this world, and I will continue to pursue that goal.
Each cancer case is it's own universe, and stats mean nothing to the person that has cancer, you don't want to think about median mortality rates, percentages of survival over 5 years, chances of recurrence, metastasis into other parts of your body. Reading the internet too much can scare the hell out of you. I am scared still at times and will be for years, those times are when I need to talk to people, to talk to my friends and family, to get that negativity moved out of the way, so that I can continue moving forward. After recovering fully, I have a marathon to do in the name of all cancer patients, for those that can't run one or will not survive long enough to do so. I will dedicate it to them, to those before me, to those after me with cancer, to my children, family, and friends. It will be my next win in the fight against this disease that betrays one's own body.
So bring on 2013, the first year of my new life. I have alot of living left to do.