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Traveling alone?

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

Hi Ladies,

My son lives about 9 hrs. away from me. His fiance is about 6 hrs. from me. She seems to not understand that I am not comfortable in traveling that long distance alone. I am currently on Doxil for recurrence. Since my husband died 2 1/2 yrs. ago I am not comfortable traveling alone. I go to see my daughter in college sometimes, but it's a little over 2 hrs. away.

I am having problems with low platelet counts again this year.

Do any of you drive long distances alone while on chemo? I suppose I'm kind of a coward since his death too. I just don't think that many people have any idea what chemo does to our bodies.

Thanks,

Carla

MJensen
Posts: 93
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi Carla,
To be honest I wouldn't drive 2 hrs on my own. My blood work has been low lately too. Platelets, white cells etc. It makes me tired. When my counts are down I have someone drive me. I am concerned about my reflexes. I would hate to put anyone in jeopardy due to me being tired. It's unfortunate that your family couldn't come to you this year. Is there any other way to get there? Train, bus or fly? I hope you find a way to work it out. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthier New Year! <3 Michele

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

This isn't for Christmas, just in general. Only my platelets are low. Red are almost in normal range, white count is very much within normal range. I think as much as anything I get frustrated about people not understanding that I do have limitations now. I take myself to all dr. appointments, church, I substitute teach, etc. I also think about when traveling alone what if I have a break down? My sister thinks that crazy to think about that. But it happens to someone, somewhere, every day. Oh well. THanks for your response.

Carla

MJensen
Posts: 93
Joined: Oct 2012

Sorry I misunderstood. I think you will have to let your family know your limitations and make sure they can understand. If not, maybe they are in some sort of denial. Of course you would worry about a break down when driving alone even if you weren't going through treatment. Hopefully you can get through to them and they can accommodate your needs and come see you more often. Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones. Wishing you a happy and HEALTHIER New Year! <3 Michele

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

Thanks Michele. My two kids do understand. I've never liked to drive long distances alone. That's just me. But now even more so. Actually, I don't mind doing a lot of the driving if I can only have someone riding along with me. I think my son's fiance just doesn't "get it." Oh well. Thankful for those who do understand.

poopergirl14052's picture
poopergirl14052
Posts: 1151
Joined: Nov 2010

..I would not drive for that long on chemo.you may get dizzy or nauseas and no one will be there to help you...she needs to understand you are ill and have limitations. Some times I can't feel the gas pedal. Maybe you can meet half way..Val

lovesanimals's picture
lovesanimals
Posts: 1239
Joined: Sep 2011

I may not be the best person to respond to you because I really dislike driving. I don't drive long distances alone even when I'm well, but I'm lucky to have a retired hubby who can chauffeur me around. I agree with the other ladies that it's not a good idea to drive any distance alone when on chemo. I assume your son's finance is young. Maybe she hasn't had any close family members or close friends who've had cancer and thus she hasn't had the experience of seeing how chemo can really affect a person. I hope she learns to understand and empathize with your situation. In the meantime, she and your kids should come to you for get-togethers.

Kelly

paris11
Posts: 132
Joined: Oct 2010

". I think as much as anything I get frustrated about people not understanding that I do have limitations now"

My greatest frustration is that my family and friends simply refuse to acknowledge that I fatigue easily and that I am simply unable to participate 24/7.  I try to set boundaries but this Christmas I have received a lot of criticism.  "What do you mean you can't make it?"

Right now I am "hiding" in my apartment.  A neighbor is having a party across the hall.  I went to Midnight Mass with family.  I went to Christmas Day Mass with grandchildren.  I met another son and his wife for Christmas Brunch.

Sorry folks.  I am going to bed with a great book.

I, for one, am so happy that Christmas is over!

The Grinch  Yell. Use left and right arrows to navigate.Yell. Use left and right arrows to navigate.

 

 

 

 

 

mom2greatkids's picture
mom2greatkids
Posts: 512
Joined: Jun 2011

You're not a Grinch!!  Embarassed  I learned of my recurrence in May.  Treatments, etc. did not begin until August.  Anyway, I was still hoping to secure a teaching position this current school year.  I couldn't because of the chemo regiment I was on at that time.  Anyway, knowing of my recurrence, both my Dad and sister implied (at different times) that I just might have to work at McDonald's.  My sister asked me why I couldn't when I said that wasn't someting I could do.  That really made me mad. I had to wait until my b'day (turned 50 in August) to draw widow's social security benefits.  I had not worked out of the home for a number of years.      I felt as though I was doing well to pass my Praxis exam and complete my certification.  And I was trying to find a teaching job.  Even after getting out of the hospital with pneumonia, I interviewed for a pre K teaching postion.  I felt like I was trying.

 

Oh, and another thing.  Before my diagnosis, after my husband had been dead for a year, my brother basically implied that if the kids had been younger and still at home I might have been more motivated to work etc.  After his death, I was like a zombine for a year.  Often times family just doesn't get it...at all...

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1210
Joined: Jul 2012

Hello Carla. To answer your question I drove long distances alone while on chemo. Having "chemo brain" I relied mostly on GPS for directions.
I also did other dumb things while on chemo: smoked, drank alcohol, popped random pills ordered on-line, raced my beloved little sports car with no feeling in my feet from peripheral neuropathy, etc.
I was a shining example of how NOT to behave on chemo. It also may be the reason why I am not too depressed, anxious or scared.

In my opinion if you are not comfortable doing something, don't do it. And if someone (fiance) does not like it, she will have to get over it.
You can't please them all.

wholfmeister's picture
wholfmeister
Posts: 250
Joined: Dec 2012

With every post, you make me smile! I just love your zest for life. From your tummy tuck to your counseling session and fast driving...You inspire me to grasp for all that life has to offer while I still can. Thank you!

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1210
Joined: Jul 2012

If you read my "cancer and intimacy" posts, you will never be the same. And I had to clean them up for this board. Embarassed

MJensen
Posts: 93
Joined: Oct 2012

Actually driving fast in my convertible sports car with the music cranked up sounds really fun. Having a good bottle of red wine also sounds really good (not while driving). Instead I guess I will ask my daughter to take me for a drive, top down along the beach.....and may have a taste of wine with dinner tonight as I will open one of my special reserves for the family. Just the thought of enjoying a whole bottle of wine with my husband and long drive with the top down made me smile! Thanks for sharing!

wholfmeister's picture
wholfmeister
Posts: 250
Joined: Dec 2012

I think one of my biggest challenges is trying to live my life in spite of cancer, even while cancer is trying its best to stop me. I try to do all the things I want to do and would normally do, even though I may be totally exhausted at the end of the day. I also say 'no' to many things because I just don't feel up to it. I try not to be a whiner and complain. By keeping active and 'normal' I think I sometimes give the perception that everything is fine, when we all know it isn't really. The fiancé may have the same misperception, since you are staying active and even working. Just be honest with her. If she doesn't get it...well, good luck!

And you shouldn't be driving long distances if you don't feel comfortable, ever. I personally love driving, and have driven to visit my daughter many times (9-10 hours). But I haven't done it alone since I've had cancer. And I did breakdown in the middle of nowhere in the middle of January once. Even AAA had trouble finding me! Don't do it if you aren't comfortable, even without cancer!

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